She wants the gifted money back

[HereForItMaybe]

I'll keep it short - DM very kindly gifted myself and my brother £50k each, 5 years ago.

She has now asked for it back. My brother has not been asked.

AIBU to say no?

No tax is payable on gifts.

If you spent it on a house, especially, it legally has to have been a gift.

Previous posters seem disinclined to hump to the obvious conclusion that your mother is a terrible person but i would say that obvious point is obviously correct.

Just say “no. Spent it. Did you ask Jack for his gift back too?”

Nope.

Have you asked her why she’s not asked your brother for the money?

She can’t be serious. You have invested yours in your home. If she wants £50k can you and your brother maybe give £25k each?

You'll need to explain why you and not your brother ideally

I wish! Sadly no millions in the bank.

Brother spent his on a big holiday and two cars, as far as I'm aware he doesn't struggle to pay his mortgage but he has a good job, seems secure enough.

Yes but this isn't a gift now as it's a loan because the op's mum is asking her to return it so is treating it like a loan.

No. You sell, you have to pay movers, stamp duty, solicitors and estate agents fees.

If you remortgage to pull the equity it'll cost you so much in interest.

Following your update I would say no, she gave you a gift, it was generous but I'm sure if you knew she'd pull this in 5yrs you'd have made different choices, she doesn't get to ask for it back especially from yourself only, how rude.

Technically the answer is NO you don't have it.... you have a roof over your head!
This is very odd.... why is she not asking your brother for it? Or half from each of you?

It was definitely a gift, I had to sort paperwork with my conveyancing solicitor declaring the gift as it was used specifically towards my property purchase.

A flat no then.
"You Gifted this to me and dbro. It was clearly a gift and was declared as that when I bought the house. Sorry it can't be unpicked.

“No, I’ve spent it. You said it was a gift and I’ve relied on it being one, and built my life around that.”

Ask her, " so the you want me to sell my house and potentially make sure i can never get on the housing market again because you want the gift you gave me 5yrs ago but also haven't asked brother for his back? "

"Sorry Mum, its gone."

You are going to have to have a difficult conversation where you lay out some truths.

She gifted you the money.
Both you and your brother spent it. You both made decisions based on it being a gift.
If either of you were to gift her the money back you would both be in financial hardship (as it would cost you mortgage fees, estate agent fees, movers fees, stamp duty on a new purchase)
So you have not got the financial ability to gift her the money.

And frankly it has been incredibly stressful that she's put you in this position

Ah well, that’s the explanation. Your brother has nothing much to show for the money whereas DM can see that you’ve still got the tangible asset that you spent it on.

Yes.

Your brother has a house. He isn't being asked to sell his house to gift her money.

Has your mum been receiving any means tested benefits during the time that she would not have received if she'd had the £50k

Its a bit odd to ask for it back now unless it was always suggested it was a loan she expected back. Did she ever mention a possibility of it being returned?

A simple “no, I spent it on my house” should suffice, op.

I'd say sorry I no longer have it and I'm not in a position to pay it back.

If you do decide to remortgage to get the money, make sure you only end up paying out £50k in total (what you give your mum + interest on the remortgage).

I’m sure you would have made different financial decisions if you knew you would need give it back.

If she has accepted your brother has spent his, why hasn’t she accepted you have? Cars are easier to cash in than getting a remortgage. Why can’t he sell a car?