To not run my 18 year old dd everywhere on her days off

[blackheartsgirl]

Dd doesn’t drive and refuses to catch the bus because she doesn’t like it and has told me it’s too much faff and it’s cold.

town is 1 mile away and there are regular buses. She wants to go to town to get her nails done and to buy vape liquid. She also wants me to walk round town with her because she doesn’t want to go by herself as she’ll get bored ffs and she wants a lift back.

I’ve got some health issues and I’m also off sick due to this. ( I do a heavy physical job) I hate town myself anyway.

i also run her boyfriend home, as he lives 5 miles away and no buses at night,

I am quite happy to take her to doctors appointments, and I take her to and from work every day, at 7 am and 5 pm. She does pay petrol and is learning to drive.

I also take dd3 14 to school, and run her about too.

no dh or any other support.

shes thinks I’m massively unreasonable, a bitch, I don’t care about her etc but I’m tired tbh and stressed. On Saturdays I spend my entire day in the car running about doing lifts for sporting activities for them both, sometimes travelling 30 to 40 miles away.

aibu to say no?

Offer to buy her a bike

If she cant walk a mile then she needs to stop vaping

Why are posters banging on about how far they can walk - and they're 99 - and how far their children walk? It's completely irrelevant and they're just making OP's issues about themselves. It's tedious.

OP, if you can wade through the self-aggrandising nonsense on here, there's good advice. Put a stop to all of this taxi-ing around. Not one of the people involved needs a lift, they'd just like one. They can't have it. You're ill and need to rest.

Your daughter needs to know that calling you names isn't accepted and if she continues then she needs to find somewhere else to live.

You're not being hard, but you need to be much firmer than you are being.

But OPs daughter is not a child she is an adult.

Sorry 1 mile? 1 mile and she might get a bus or drive? 1 mile is a very short walk! It’s hardly worth the fat of driving or bussing for such a short distance!

I wouldn't leave an adult walk on these country roads either.

My point was does "walking a mile" means absolutely nothing, it depends where you live.
There are some houses in London where you literally cannot leave the house on foot , they go straight onto the ring road.

Oh she’s perfectly capable of walking a mile 😂. She does dance classes every Saturday and goes to the gym with her friend 2 or 3 times a week with her friend (whose parents take them). She just chooses not to walk because she can’t be arsed or get the bus.

we do live semi rural, although town is a mile away, it’s a walk along in unlit overgrown path alongside a busy road into town and her place of work is the opposite way accross a remote wooded valley, no direct early bus so I can understand the need for a lift in the morning.

A bit dramatic. I think an adult can navigate the roads, country or otherwise. Only on MN will you hear the hyperbole:

"cannot leave the house on foot." 😂 Jesus this thread just keeps on giving!

She lives a short walk away. FFS

There are buses on a regular timetable and it’s a mile walk. She should take the bus. She needs to stop vaping. I’d not take my kids out to buy this toxic substance.Her bf can sort out his own travel arrangements. What a cf to expect you to drive him home.

You’re being a mug. It wouldn’t occur to any of if my kids to call me a name let alone a bitch ffs! Why are you letting her treat you like that?

Yes you should stop. She should also mind her manners.

What is she actually doing at 18? I assume not sitting around being a spare wheel

I would only be picking her up if I was going that way. I also don't think you should be ferrying her to work etc, she can get the bus. Your treating her like a small child and she needs to stand on her own feet. That's real life!

💯% THIS ^

A mile. Oh hell no, she's got legs hasn't she?

Learn to drive or learn to like the bus.

Plus, if I dared call my mum a bitch, I'd be running the fucking mile!

Try to get her to understand your point—you are also important in the grand scheme of things, and she should have some empathy for you. But does she know you are struggling? If you always put a strong face she might not see your struggles

She said why. She's lost her dad and is struggling still

You don't live in the middle of nowhere do you?

It might surprise you to learn that there are great swathes of the country with poor or non-existent bus services. And they're still be cut!

I hope all this comes out of her wages and she doesn't expect you to pay?

And does she pay any 'keep'?

Again if people actually read my posts. She works full time, she also dances all day on a Saturday and is fit and active. She just hates walking and buses. She just does not sit around doing nothing.

Yes I’ve already said she pays me a set amount for petrol and also pays me keep. I have insisted on that from the very start

DD is 18, passed her test and has full use of a car. She still walks the mile to 6th form and back each day. Stop being a pushover.

Why can’t she take a bus? There’s nothing stopping her apart from not being bothered. She needs to be responsible for her own travel.

She called you a bitch? If she were my DD she'd be getting public transport to and from work as well as going into town by foot on her days off! Ungrateful little minx. Stop enabling her.

There is no way on earth I’d run my similarly aged DD anywhere to buy vape liquid nevermind anything else. Be her mum and not her friend OP