Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

[Lurkinmn]

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

We are all ages from all over this country and many from other places in the world

So quite a cross-section. Not weirdos - it is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL to kiss babies on the cheek.

Especially if you're the parent

I haven’t said it’s normal or abnormal, I’m saying each to their own and just because people on mumsnet have voted it’s abnormal doesn’t mean it it!
the mum doesn’t yet want to kiss baby’s face and that’s ok until she feels ready to do so!
some of the comments towards her have been nothing but nasty which there’s no need for hence my weirdos comment.
if people don’t agree with her then that’s absolutely fine but to laugh and put the poor mum down when she’s clearly anxious and worried is just wrong, the mocking is from grown adults too of all ages from all over the world… nasty.

I am the least health concerned parent going, but I completely understand why you wouldn't want someone doing this. There's an entire campaign to raise awareness!
Children have been left severely disabled or even died, such as this one https://www.suffolknews.co.uk/sudbury/news/documentary-starring-suffolk-10-year-old-to-premiere-at-town-9232879/

This is heartbreaking, and this is what the majority of the people mocking and making comments on this thread don’t understand or are ignorant too. Hopefully this will help the OP realise she’s not crazy, she’s not a weirdo, she’s not bonkers and her baby isn’t deprived of love, just because people haven’t had it happen to them doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t happen; thank you for sharing.

That I agree with

Of course it's heartbreaking.
OP's friend gave her baby a peck on the cheek. This is very different to someone with a coldsore kissing a baby on the lips.

I was more upset than this when my cat came home with lipstick kisses all over her head.
I hardly think one little kiss will harm your baby unless your friend had scabies or open cold sores.
Just tell her next time she visits not to do it.

That poor child was KISSED ON THE LIPS.

Yes. And when the OPs friend leant in to kiss her baby she had no control over where that kiss would land.

It’s highly unlikely a child would catch anything even if it was on the lips. What’s more harmful to a baby is constant anxiety in the mother and you sharing very rare stories like that is probably not going to help!

OP asked in her first post "What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?"

When you have visitors you say "if you have any sign of a coldsore (even if it's not visible) you should not kiss babies".

But even OP (with no coldsores) has kissed her baby on the face.

Wait what?

This is nuts!

Respectfully, I think you should get a grip. This level of health anxiety is detrimental to your child and relationships.

Not trying to be rude OP. However, as many others have said, you seriously need to get help for your anxiety. What you’re not taking into account is the impact your anxiety is having on you, your family, and your children.

Imagine, your little baby grows up to be a highly health (or generally) anxious person because they’ve observed their mother doing it all their life. Yes, the likelihood is high because babies are little learning sponges and soak up any and ALL behavior. Having specific or even generalized chronic anxiety can come with additional health complications when left untreated or unmanaged such as heart diseases. Makes sense (right?), frequently spiked or rubber banding heart rate and adrenals. That’s just biological concerns let alone psychological concerns.

So please OP, get yourself some help because your behavior has already begun to deviate from the norm in ways that can be harmful. You assume your baby feels loved because you do other things. But wait until they get older and start observing how other families interact. You’ll start getting questions (hopefully) and if you don’t they could even internalize your behavior and be asking themselves whether you actually love them because you don’t act like other moms. Get help for your anxiety before you do irreparable damage to you, your family, and especially your kids. Seriously. The origin point of you anxiety makes sense and those feelings of concern were valid. How you’ve handled your anxiety behaviorally is NOT valid and is quite concerning and damage inducing to others. Full stop.

This is a shame. There is absolutely nothing wrong with showing affection.
OP you will be shocked but we kissed our children from birth and never stopped family or close friends from kissing them. They are both now scrapping and healthy adults. We also kiss our grandchildren!
Children need to be in contact with germs, how else will they develop resistance? By 16 weeks most babies will be robust unless they have medical issues

Overly Dramatic

Good grief mothers today like to find tho ga to stress/ complain about don't they?

What on this green Earth do you thinks is going to happen?!