Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

[Lurkinmn]

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

Your baby is 4 months old, and you, as a family, haven't kissed her cheek yet?
I've never heard of that, and I always was and still am, a cautious person when it comes to communicable infections.
But to not to kiss your own baby, how do you stop yourself? Unless you are unwell or think you might be and if your baby's shots are up to date, then one little peck on the cheek by your friend is nothing to worry about.

How do you think babies build their immune systems? 😆

How can you resist kissing your own baby's soft, squidgy baby cheeks? 😢

are you actually for real??? get a grip!

I have never kissed another persons baby but mainly because they terrified me before I had my own.

To have not kissed your own child on the cheek though for 4 months is utter madness. What a sad choice to make.

There are many ways for babies to build their immune systems without some stink breath drooling on them.

More to the point, most people wouldn’t just kiss anyone on the cheek when they feel like it so why do it to babies? There are soooo many other ways to show affection and love to a baby. I really don’t think kissing a baby is appropriate and it makes my skin crawl when I see adults force a child relative to kiss them square on the mouth. Gross

@Lurkinmn - I kissed all three of my babies, and other people gave them kisses too - lots of kisses - and all three have grown up healthy and with strong immune systems. I have kissed my granddaughter too - as have plenty of other people - and she is also thriving.

I can understand you not kissing your baby if you have cold sores, and are worried about passing that on - that is a sensible attitude - but I think cold sores are only contagious when they are active, so if you have no symptoms, kissing your child will be fine, I think.

It does sound as if you are very anxious about health and infection, and I do think it is making you overreact to this particular situation. Please do consider seeking some help - not only is this anxiety spoiling your experience of motherhood, but you risk passing this attitude on to your children, and making them unreasonably anxious, which would be terrible for them.

The irony that PPs say OP is overreacting when they’ve jumped to questioning the poor woman’s mental health and fitness to be a mother to her baby. “Insane” and “bonkers” are just some words being thrown around. Wow. Your baby, your rules OP until baby is old enough to make their own decisions.

Ok, so I read ‘French kissed a baby’, which is obviously horrific. Friend kidded a baby is fine.

Until baby is old enough to make their own decisions? 😆🤣😆

YANBU. I’m with you in this, OP. Adults should ask a child before giving a kiss or touching them or ask their parents consent if child is too little. It’s very rude to kiss someone’s LO (especially this little).
I’m 36 weeks pregnant and definitely not allowing anyone apart from myself and my husband to kiss our baby.

I think you have rights and should state this to every visitor and if someone finds it bizarre or overreaction, it’s their problem.

Perhaps parents like the OP are at the root of the rise in anxiety in children?

At what age will it be ok for a mother to kiss her baby on the face? A year, five, ten?

With all due respect....everyone needs a few germs to build up their immunity. Your older child may have got ill due to your over anxiety preventing them from this.

I do think your anxiety is excessive and worrying, but thinking about it I don't think I ever have kissed someone else baby. I kissed my own babies all the time and still kiss them, but I never kissed a friends baby. Also, to be fair to the OP she does kiss her baby just not on the skin of her face due to cold sores, which i think is reasonable to be honest, you don't want to pass that on to your baby or they will also have cold sores for the rest of their life, I remember my husband being advised by health professionals about that (he gets them I don't).

I remember when mine were newborns there was a tradition amongst the older generation of passing a coin over their palm for good luck. I remember introducing my new born to people and before I knew it some old lady I hardly new had whipped a penny out of her purse and pushed it into the palm of my newborns hand! I couldn't believe it. But I got over it and my child survived, but i don't have crippling anxiety. I really would speak to your GP or health visitor as it's only going to get worse when the toddler starts bringing every germ going home.

Yes…… when they’re old enough as a child to verbally tell people they do or don’t want to be kissed…… did I make that clear enough for you or shall I elaborate further….?

:).

You’re very sarcastic as well as totally ridiculous!

Absolutely!

What should you do? Put on a bally & shoot her obviously

this has to be a joke, I think Temu do industrial rolls of bubble wrap just in case it isn't

What, in the longer term, do you think is more damaging to a person's mental/physical health?

A) Never being kissed by your loved ones as a child

B) Being kissed by your loved ones as a child

The fact that OP thinks B) is the correct answer is devastatingly sad for everyone involved with her, but especially the poor baby.

Gordon Bennett woman, what is the matter with you? Unless your friend has a infectious condition, why worry? It seems most odd that even you haven't kissed your baby in sixteen weeks. Unbelievable.

Methinks you are having us on.

Totally over reacting and this is your second child? Is there a back story like the child is seriously immunocompromised?

Please get help for your health anxiety.

Spontaneous affection is lovely and you get it back in spades when your children get older. If they pick up on a fear of holding back then they will too.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ she has though if you read the full thread she just hasn’t their face!!

This must be a joke.

I find it weirdly annoying when people refer to their own baby as 'baby' instead of using the baby's actual name or any pronouns.