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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

443 replies

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:26

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

OP posts:
Tbry24 · 11/02/2025 11:38

You don’t kiss your own baby???? How dreadful. I have baby kittens mine get kissed repeatedly.

GoldenJay · 11/02/2025 11:39

This is crazy!
Please get some help, this is not normal!

I do get cold sores too occasionally and no I wasn’t kissing my baby when I actively had them, that’s understandable. But not to kiss them ever?
My child is now 4 so by some logic I shouldn’t kiss him ever just because I get occasional cold sores?

beAsensible1 · 11/02/2025 11:45

Loup19863 · 11/02/2025 06:56

She doesn’t have severe health anxiety, people like you are so patronising! She’s well within her rights to not want other peoples mouths on her baby’s face whilst it’s still so young. Yes it is completely normal, not everyone parents the same, stop making out there is something wrong with this mum all because she doesn’t want people’s mouths all over her baby’s face!!! Such patronising know it alls on here!

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she hasn't kissed her own baby. for 16 weeks...

humansciences · 11/02/2025 11:47

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:38

I have anxiety about germs as my older DC used to fall sick a lot and landed in hospital a few times. I feel quite worried due to those experiences. Also, I tend to get cold sores, hence I haven't kissed my baby yet. I saw some videos from doctors on Instagram about the risks to young babies due to kissing hence I don't kiss her on face, we kiss her on her head or feet. She is very much loved by us.

Stop getting your health advice from doctors on Instagram, you silly goose

TheChippendenSpook · 11/02/2025 11:48

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/02/2025 10:23

OMG, that is so sad.
Let’s hope they won’t be the parents in a year or so, who are complaining that grandparents aren’t willing to help with regular childcare.

Where did all this uber-preciousness about new babies come from? All this crap about the ‘little family’ needing time to bond, no visitors for ages, etc.?

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God knows but it's absolutely ridiculous.

cruisetipz · 11/02/2025 11:51

Thought this was going to be friend kissed your baby on the lips, that I wouldn't be happy about due to virus' etc ! But the cheek cmon

OriginalUsername2 · 11/02/2025 11:53

How do you think babies build their immune systems?

Let your baby be squidged and loved!

I honestly think new mums can be bloody ridiculous these days.

Moonlightdust · 11/02/2025 11:56

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:28

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

This is so sad. I’d constantly kiss my newborns little head, cheek etc. Your baby is 4 months old and never been kissed?
The only hygiene issue I’d ever heard is not to kiss newborn babies on the lips. This is crazy.

Adropintheocean1 · 11/02/2025 11:58

I think the problem with watching these sorts of videos is that it just terrifies parents (usually mothers.) They then see anyone with a cold sore as an actual death threat to their child creating such anxiety. The truth is it extremely, extremely rare for the hpv virus to cause death, even in newborns. Even more unlikely in a 4 month old. Your baby is more at risk every time you walk down the street then she was from your friend kissing her. I really think the amount of knowledge we have now is actually not beneficial for our mental health.

BallerinaRadio · 11/02/2025 11:58

SemperIdem · 11/02/2025 06:55

This is such odd behaviour, it is really hard to believe it is a serious post.

I feel like that about every other post seemingly at the minute

Crumpies · 11/02/2025 11:59

Lurkinmn · 11/02/2025 06:42

To the people who are saying I am over reacting, have you ever kissed other people's baby?
I haven't and I would ask their permission even before holding other people's baby.

Yes I have but this thread makes me think twice. Not because I am worried about the babies health but because so many parents now seem to have an issue with it. Their baby so their rules so fair enough

Doggiedays · 11/02/2025 12:02

The world has gone bloody bonkers. OP I hope you learn to chill or your baby might learn to behave like you. Which is a bit extreme imho.

MrsKeats · 11/02/2025 12:03

Get a grip. Seriously.

Doggiedays · 11/02/2025 12:03

BallerinaRadio · 11/02/2025 11:58

I feel like that about every other post seemingly at the minute

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I wondered if it was a piss take - is it half term?

Hwi · 11/02/2025 12:05

Chinese people usually do not want their babies to be kissed by visitors - so guess what? When their babies are born, they don't have visitors for a few months, and don't show them to anyone. Simple.

Dramatic · 11/02/2025 12:07

I get cold sores so I've never kissed my kids on the mouth, I've always kissed them on the face though (I haven't had an active cold sore for years) and I wouldn't be bothered at all if someone kissed my baby on the cheek. It's a lovely show of affection.

dutysuite · 11/02/2025 12:10

Get a grip

babyproblems · 11/02/2025 12:12

This is insane. Start kissing your baby op.
Let others sometimes kiss them aswell.

Ruby0707 · 11/02/2025 12:12

With kindness, you sound unwell.

crumblingschools · 11/02/2025 12:16

The Lullaby Trust give advice on this. I must admit when DS was a baby this would not have occurred to me. I am not currently surrounded by babies as most of my friends have teens. Thinking back I was probably a kiss on the head sort of person rather than face when cuddling a friend's baby. DS got many kisses from us.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/infection-and-illness/how-to-keep-babies-safe-from-infection/

fairydustt · 11/02/2025 12:19

You sound insane

yikesanotherbooboo · 11/02/2025 12:20

You have another child who I expect is all over baby with dirty hands and snotty nose. This is completely normal and builds a good relationship between the siblings . In comparison a peck on the cheek from a healthy adult is not going to g to be high risk for germs. Try to look from the outside if you can . You can tell from previous posters that your behaviour is unusual and it must make life more worrisome than it needs to be. Yes , cold sores and new borns can be dangerous but otherwise your little one , you will find, is surprisingly resilient.

Lostworlds · 11/02/2025 12:20

I have health anxiety and understand where you are coming from.

Your baby will be okay but if you don’t want anyone to kiss your child then just politely say no kisses. It isn’t their baby! I gave lots of kisses to my babies but I wouldn’t really think to kiss others.

Margorett · 11/02/2025 12:21

What a ridiculous post ! This poor baby is going to grow up with so much anxiety !

RedPandaLove · 11/02/2025 12:28

YANBU. I agree with you OP, I wouldn’t want anyone kissing my baby’s face either. When they’re so young they haven’t yet had chance to build up their immune system. I also think it’s inappropriate. Why are people so obsessed with kissing babies and young children?! It’s like they just have this impulse to kiss a baby or child and I really don’t understand it. I’ve never felt the urge to kiss anyone’s baby whether it be on the mouth or elsewhere on the face. Gives me the ick. Keep your dirty mouths off baby faces!!