Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

[Lurkinmn]

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

Exactly! These type of threads pop up every so often and it has become boring now.

I have anxiety about germs as my older DC used to fall sick a lot and landed in hospital a few times. I feel quite worried due to those experiences. Also, I tend to get cold sores, hence I haven't kissed my baby yet. I saw some videos from doctors on Instagram about the risks to young babies due to kissing hence I don't kiss her on face, we kiss her on her head or feet. She is very much loved by us.

Yes, I'm totally sure this is a true post OP 👍

It's not a joke post, I am just a worried mum.

You need some help for your anxiety.

To the people who are saying I am over reacting, have you ever kissed other people's baby?
I haven't and I would ask their permission even before holding other people's baby.

I just checked the NHS website and regarding the Coldsore virus they are most at risk within the first 4 weeks

She's going to be crawling soon OP and putting everything and anything in her mouth,

Visit the GP and explain how your feeling, it's really common and they will be able to offer the right support.

I was extremely anxious after my last DC and it really spoilt what should of been a lovely time.

If it was a real threat everyone here would be saying so and would have horror stories to follow, The fact no one has is something to think about x

I'd be more concerned about the effect of not showing a child affection. Who the fuck kisses their baby's feet but not their face? If you don't want your friend kissing your baby, that's also weird, but your baby, your decision. But to not kiss your own child is actually quite worrying and I can't decide if you are really mentally unwell or just really unkind.

Yes I have kissed other people's babies. It's normal.

Yes...as have most people! Because most people aren't irrational. Your behaviour IS irrational. You need support for this.

I have never heard of no kisses at all. I had a baby last year and we don’t do kisses on the mouth but everywhere else was absolutely fine for both us and others. It’s almost instinctive to give a baby a little kiss

Oh dear

You having cold sores is not the same as “we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.” Honestly that’s just so crazy and so sad.
Instagram doctors need to be banned imo.

If this is real then you need therapy. It's not healthy.

#fakenews

So many people kissed my babies on the cheek and head, I didn’t think anything of it. I wouldn’t kiss a baby now though as I see so many people on here who dislike it so much and don’t want to offend anyone, but I saw it as a good thing my friends loved my baby. Wiping it off reminds me of when I was in school and boys would chase you and kiss you, and we would all wipe it off. With kindness, you’re over reacting.

Gosh, my baby must be younger than that because they haven’t had all the vaccines yet and I’ve stopped counting in weeks! I’m sorry that’s ridiculously precious for a second born. Have you not got a toddler coming home from preschool and bringing all manner of germs into the house?

You need help for your severe health anxiety. Absolutely not normal no one's ever kissed your baby in your immediate family. The baby is four months old now, not a tiny newborn. I'd understand not kissing on the mouth but kissing a cheek is fine.

Some of these replies are just heartless!!
i completely understand where you’re coming from and why you don’t want people to kiss your baby! I was the same with my little one, I didn’t want people kissing him when he was so little or until I felt ready but I wasn’t scared to tell family and friends that. If they don’t like it tough, your baby your rules, and completely agree regarding the cold sore virus, maybe people on here should look into ‘don’t kiss the baby’ instead of telling a worried mum she’s bonkers or weird. I was also very anxious and over health etc and it does get easier in time, sending a hug from one mum to another, just don’t be scared to tell people ‘please don’t kiss my baby’ xx

Sounds like you've been listening to too many of those stupid tiktok mums who think visitors shouldn't dare look at the baby and should only come to cook and clean.

Honestly, your baby is going to get exposed to a whole load more germs when they start crawling around, picking up and putting random things in their mouth. A random kiss will seem so minor.
"You can't wrap them in cotton wool" seems the most appropriate expression here

Don't fall out with your friend over it- absolutely no harm done

I understand about the coldsore risk. But your DH hasn’t kissed your baby either? I do find that quite sad, I used to kiss my babies all the time. They are all grown up now, 30’s, 20’s and late teens. Trust me before long they don’t want mum and dad kissing them. As long as you don’t have an active coldsore you can kiss your baby.

I kissed my baby’s face as soon as she was handed to me. Am pretty sure a friend kissed her the next day. Let your toddler kiss baby all over at least, and see a GP about your anxiety.

I understand that you are worried about germs and disease, that's natural. But kissing babies is instinctual and normal. If your baby does pick up normal bacteria (I mean that your friend isn't ill but is out in the world and not sterile), you can protect your baby from those by even more kissing! If you are breastfeeding, kissing your baby can help you produce the right antibodies in your milk. Here's a quote I found which explains it, but there is plenty of I formation to be found.

"When a mother kisses her baby, she samples the pathogens on her baby's face, which then travel to the mom's lymphatic system. The mother's body then creates the antibodies to fight those pathogens, which she feeds to her baby in her milk"

How can you not kiss a baby, unless you have something contagious they'll be fine. It's good for their immune system and development.