Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

[Lurkinmn]

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

I wouldn't do anything there is no need, but of course you don't need our permission

Just to mention, this is my second DC so I have an older child and we as a family haven't kissed the baby on their face so far.

Unless your friend has some terrible contagious disease, you are overreacting.

Bonkers

Agree. Overreaction.

Had she got smallpox ?

What a ludicrous over-reaction.

None of you kiss the baby? Do you have a fear of germs
of health anxiety?

Wait...you haven't kissed your own 4 month old baby on the face yet?

Seriously...WTF?? You clearly have some deep seated anxiety going on here...this is NOT normal behaviour OP!

You and your family haven't kissed your 4 month old baby on the face yet???

Oh that's so sad. Please start kissing your delicious baby OP.

Gently, your baby will be absolutely fine and I think it’s lovely that others adore your child. A kiss on the cheek wouldn’t upset me at all (and there’s a world of grime and germs coming your way as your baby becomes a toddler!).

But if you don’t want others to kiss your child, say so. ‘Absolutely, here you go - happy for you to hold her / him but we’re asking for no kisses till their immune system is stronger. Ta’.

ETA - wrote this before the ‘we haven’t kissed our baby yet either’ update. 😮

Agreed that it is an overreaction. However, if you don't want people to kiss your baby, be a grown-up and tell them so. I don't understand why you are making it complicated.

As can be seen here, many/most don't think it is a big deal, so others might also do the same (kiss the baby), so you need to ask them not before they hold/get near your baby.

Why wouldn’t she kiss her? Your baby is almost 4 months old.

You have never kissed your 4 month olds face??
Nor has your husband or your baby’s sibling?

Ive honestly never heard anything so nuts. You’re actually letting irrational anxiety spoil some of the best parenting experiences.

A friend shouldn’t kiss your baby on the mouth, or be all over them if they are sick but if they are fine and well a kiss on the cheek is absolutely not an issue. Your baby wasn’t fussy in the night from a kiss on the cheek.

Don't you want your baby showered with love and affection? It's the most natural think in the world to cuddle and kiss babies. She isn't a random person off the street. Do you have anxiety?

So many cultures adore babies and kids. The saying it takes a village to raise a baby is less the case in the UK but very true elsewhere. And it's a shame for the kids.

Thank you so much for your kindness. Yeah, this is helpful..I will tell the people gently, I fear they might get upset but I need to prioritise my baby's wellbeing.

Sounds like you need therapy for your over anxiety. Babies are tough little things not fine bone china and the fact none of you have kissed the baby is super weird

you need to calm down. surely this is a joke post?

I don't think YABU, for all you know she could of had a coldsore coming ect. I'd be really annoyed but, I'd of made it very clear beforehand that no one was to kiss my baby

If you don't get coldsores you'll be fine to kiss your own baby.

I get coldsores and didn't kiss my babies while they were very little but I did/do as they've got older and they have never gotten a coldsore ( I'm very careful though and if I feel as much as a tingle I won't kiss them )

I do think it’s a bit… odd, especially the fact you’ve not kissed your own baby on the face. I find that sad.

Thank you so much for your kindness. Yeah, this is helpful..I will tell the people gently, I fear they might get upset but I need to prioritise my baby's wellbeing.

@Lurkinmn But, you're not prioritising her well-being. You're prioritising your anxiety around germs. Your baby is 16 weeks old, not newborn. Kisses on their little face are absolutely fine.

To be clear, not letting a close friend who isn't poorly kiss a four month old baby does NOT improve the baby's wellbeing. You should speak to a GP about it. Your baby your rules- but these rules are about irrational anxieties, not baby wellbeing.

Huh?

You haven't kissed your own baby? That's bonkers.

I think that’s how you know the OP is coming at this from extreme health anxiety rather than normal common sense.
To not kiss your own baby!

The thing is op babies need to be exposed to germs to strengthen their immune system and the more love the better. I don't think your reaction is rational.

Not giving your own baby kisses is very sad imo. Your friend giving your 4 month old baby a kiss on the cheek is fine. Lovely even. As long as she isn’t ill or has a cold sore obviously.

Please shower your baby with kisses and hugs and show them that they are loved.

Consider speaking to your GP about your anxiety. You can get help for this.