Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

[Lurkinmn]

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

To be fair that's not something you would remember to say, if its slipped your mind because it's not normal to kiss someone's baby. I'm sorry it's not. Many of my friends when we all had babies , I did not kiss there babies nor did they kiss mine. And no this is not ops preference. Due to the cold sore risk anyone in the nhs would advise not kissing babies. I think you need to educate yourself on the matter before you come on here planting seeds in ppls heads. The advice is don't kiss babies!

It's one thing not being keen on it but it's another jumping to the conclusion that she has made your child sick already .
Some germs are good for kids they help build immunities for when they are older.
All kids get sick it's natural. Some more then others.
You can't fully stop them ever catching anything . That's impossible.
Also think about other countries that kiss on cheeks a lot . To say hi and bye old and young. They don't have loads of sick babies from it.
Obviously if the person in question has a history or currently has a Coldsore then prevent it .

Completely disagree with other posters. It's rsv season and the one thing they tell you is not to kiss other people's babies. I always make a joke of it with my visitors, "mind... No kissing!" They've all happily not kissed her. One relative went to kiss her cheek as a hello and I pulled her away and I explained to him what rsv was, he didn't know and said he wouldn't kiss other people's babies now he does!

Complete overreaction and lack of understanding about basic biology. How is your child ever supposed to develop a resilient immune system unless they are exposed to novel pathogens?

Please start giving your little baby kisses and let the baby’s sibling give kisses.

Have you really not kissed your baby? I think you need help for your anxiety if you haven't.

PenguinLover24
Completely disagree with other posters. It's rsv season and the one thing they tell you is not to kiss other people's babies. I always make a joke of it with my visitors, "mind... No kissing!" They've all happily not kissed her. One relative went to kiss her cheek as a hello and I pulled her away and I explained to him what rsv was, he didn't know and said he wouldn't kiss other people's babies now he does!

Yes,however the op doesn't even kiss her own baby.. That is weird and not natural.

This has got to be a wind up lol

The difference there is you tell people. OP expects telepathy to work and then huffs without telling the kisser.

No kissing baby is fine, not everyone knows the risks and unless they have babies themselves they are unlikely to come across the information.

I think this is terribly sad for the baby. Assuming she didn't have an active cold sore or kiss him on the mouth then there's no harm, and there's certainly no harm in YOU as his family kissing him! Babies are inherently kissable!

I have two good friends who both adore my baby DS and it warms my heart to see them give him a little kiss while they cuddle or play with him.

Obviously you have some kind of health anxiety, maybe ask your visitors to wear masks around the baby if you're that worried?
why haven't you or your husband kissed the baby yet though? Thats really sad

I think this is really sad. My DD is a toddler now but I've always kissed her on the cheek. I avoid this if I have a cold though. No one else kissed her face when she was a newborn and small baby, but maybe your friend did this without thinking. If you have an older child then they'll frequently bring germs into the house. Edited when I realised that you regularly get cold sores. Other family members will probably be able to kiss your baby's cheeks and forehead safely.

If anything, I think it's far more unhealthy NOT to kiss a baby! It's a natural instinct for us to want to hold, touch or kiss babies. It's just weird not to!

Yes. Gently OP do you think you might be experiencing post partum anxiety? I would not say this is a typical response to this situation. It’s also really really sad you haven’t kissed your own baby. Smooching those big chubby cheeks is so delightful.

Bonkers!

I saw some videos from doctors on Instagram about the risks to young babies due to kissing.

Was it Dr Nick Riviera or something?...

There can be serious health risks to babies from kissing them from the cold sore virus. The advice is not to kiss them for that reason.

Not for 4 months, you absolute looper! Maybe for the very first few weeks.

That makes a lot of sense. Your previous experiences of illnesses with your first would also make me super anxious (I've had PPA and PPOCD with both kids) and the fact you're prone to cold sores (which are extremely dangerous for little ones) also mean I would be extra cautious before kissing my baby too. As other PPs have said though, you have to make those boundaries clear to visitors as they would probably not think about it. Before having my own kids, these risks wouldn't have crossed my mind at all. What I did with both my babies when they were little (I think up to like 4 mo ish) is wearing them in the baby carrier when ppl visited or when visiting ppl so there's no passing around the baby and no kissing on the face (as it would mean they'd be kissing really close to my boobs 🤣).

Also, to ppl shocked she hasn't kissed the baby yet. She has, she said she kissed on the head and feet etc, just not on the face to not pass on cold sores.

I don’t want to pile on and be unkind OP as you are obviously struggling but I agree with most of the posters on here that this is deeply neurotic. It’s completely irrational to have this prohibition against kissing the baby.

Your germ anxiety is ruling your life and you need to make sure you don’t pass this on to your baby.

Babies need exposure to microbes to build immunity. Trying to shield them like this is pointless and counterproductive.

Please don't get medical advice from instagram

I would never kiss someone else’s baby, I also understand why you wouldn’t want that due to RSV which my own child had and it’s a horrible illness! I do kiss my own child and always will, I do think you need to loosen up on that one x

Yeah we got that, but the baby is missing out both on affection and bonding but also on the essential health benefits of exposure to their family's germs by this bonkers approach. The baby is not at risk of cold sores if the family are careful and sensible but this doesn't mean never kissing her on the face!

@MellowCritic No, the NHS advice is only for visitors not to kiss babies (not their own mum!). And it is only for when the baby is a wee newborn.

Your poor baby has had no kisses! That's really sad for your little one. Please get some help