Friend kissed my baby, feeling upset

[Lurkinmn]

A friend came to visit me and asked if she can take the baby. Baby is 16 weeks old, I gave her the baby and she did a quick peck on my baby's cheek. I was shocked that why would she kiss other people's baby. I was upset and when she left I wiped my baby's face but I am feeling quite upset about her inconsiderate behaviour putting my baby's health risk. Baby has been fussy last night and I am feeling quite worried about my baby's health. Baby has all her vaccines so far.
What should I do and what should I say to her and other visitors coming to our place to see baby?

This is such odd behaviour, it is really hard to believe it is a serious post.

She doesn’t have severe health anxiety, people like you are so patronising! She’s well within her rights to not want other peoples mouths on her baby’s face whilst it’s still so young. Yes it is completely normal, not everyone parents the same, stop making out there is something wrong with this mum all because she doesn’t want people’s mouths all over her baby’s face!!! Such patronising know it alls on here!

Your anxiety and behaviour around your baby is really not normal @Lurkinmn. Kissing is good for babies, especially a mother's kisses. You won't harm her by kissing her face, she's about to start shoving everything in her mouth.

@Loup19863 she hasn’t kissed her own baby.

That is not normal behaviour.

The only reason, I wouldn't kiss a baby, particularly my own, was if I was ill.

@Lurkinmn you need to see someone about your anxiety. Not having kissed your own 16 week baby on the face is very strange. I am assuming they are otherwise healthy? Babies do need to build up their immunity as well, particularly the normal/ harmless germs their mum has.

I am sorry about your older child. Do you think they got ill from other people kissing them? What illness did they get? Maybe we could reassure you if you are willing to share.

Good one 😂

She really does. Not kissing your own four month old baby once through fear of germs is not normal!

You need to start kissing your baby. My goodness. Just avoid her mouth!

Ironic your accusing the OP of being unkind with how venomous your post is 🙄

And she hasn't said she doesn't show the baby any affection what are you making stuff up for? Dya know how weird you look making things up and them getting angry about the thing you've made up?

Is this even real? Poor little baby, imagine depriving them and yourself of kisses! Unless she had a cold sore or was unwell then isn't it better they build up their immune systems? I come from a huge very kissy family

Your baby is not benefiting from your spitfree approach. Can't believe the poor thing isn't getting kisses from her own family. Spit is how babies figure out who belongs to their own family.
(Weird as hell but Google it.)

If you don't want your visitors to kiss a 4-month-old, tell them, but don't expect them to guess it.

She’s clearly stated she suffers with cold sores and doesn’t feel comfortable kissing the baby on the face, cold sores can make little ones really poorly.
whats not normal is other grown ups on here telling a mother how she parents is not normal, bonkers, weird. Ffs where’s the support? Even if people don’t agree there’s no need to be so cold and patronising!!!

OP I understand what you are saying. With my first I went through a bit of a phase of being convinced I'd kiss her and she'd catch the cold sore virus and die. As you can tell I spent way too much time on Social Media which had a lovely habit of feeding me more and more horrible stories of babies getting really poorly or passing away from the herpes simplex virus.

However, rationally there were a few things that helped me to remind myself of whenever I had those thoughts.

1. There was no way in the world I'd ever be able to not tell I was getting a cold sore. You're only really contagious at the point of a tingle onwards.
2. I never kiss my babies on the mouth (and would never want anyone else to either)
3. Everyone with a close enough bond with my baby to potentially kiss them I've had conversations about how the cold sore virus is really dangerous for young babies.

At 4 months your little one will have a decent bit of immunity by now. Please start kissing that babies gorgeous little cheeks and forehead. Some of the best giggles and core memories of my first was when she would giggle her head of when I'd kiss all round her face.

Didn’t expect the first post I read this morning to be this weird 🤣
You need help.

This.. what a terrible shame. If this is real

Wait… no one in your actual family has ever kissed your own child?? This is definitely not normal unless you have all been unwell for the entire 4 months! It’s fine that your friend kissed your baby. Unless she was definitely sick or has some other contagious issue, it’s very normal to kiss a baby that you know well. It’s mostly newborn babies we should avoid kissing as they haven’t had vaccinations yet and don’t cope well with illnesses.

Yes, we kiss babies in our family as we are completely normal and not batshit crazy.

Get off instagram it's doing you no good.

See your GP for help with your anxiety, poor kids being brought up by a raging bag of nerves.

Again another patronising response!! Might not be normal to you but as stated she doesn’t feel comfortable kissing her baby as she suffers with cold sores. As I’ve just said to another poster what’s not normal is other grown ups on a site telling a worried mum she’s not normal, bonkers, weird etc. if you don’t agree that’s fine but there’s nicer ways of putting it!

https://www.statnews.com/2022/01/20/saliva-sharing-babies-closest-relationships/

You obviously think you are a caring parent. Please be reassured that a healthy person kissing a baby, in the parent’s presence, is no risk to that child’s health.

You've never kissed your baby on the cheek? In the whole 4 months since the baby's been born?

You must be seriously unwell OP, I hope you are receiving ongoing medical attention for this issue. It's really, really not a normal situation.

You are so overreacting and I think you should look for help for your anxieties.

Ironically withholding affection from your baby is probably doing it more damage.

You don't kiss your baby??

On the lips..of course not. But forehead, cheek... Nothing wrong with it. I find that utterly bizarre.

Of course it’s not completely normal to not have kissed your 4 month old baby!
I cannot believe the op post is real it’s just mind blowing 🤯