This is too much cycling, right?

[Bananagirl23]

Husband goes on his bike the following:

Sat 9.30am-4pm
Sun 4pm - 9pm
Mon - Thu (after work) 6-8.30pm
Friday 6-7pm

its ridiculous, right? We have 1 DC age 11. It’s reached a point now where I don’t think I can carry on with the marriage

That is beyond ridiculous, YADNBU!!

Cycling you say?

I know 😔 the worst part is when I get upset about it he tries to blame it on me - ‘I only go because you’re always on at me’ sigh…

What do you think it’s happening here?

Honestly I don’t know but it’s pretty clear our marriage is over

Completely ridiculous. He's totally slacking only doing an hour on Fridays.

(I'm kidding. He's either a selfish asshole, or having an affair, or both).

I just feel like I’m being taken for a fool. He’s completely shut me out emotionally. He’s always on at our DD - she doesn’t enjoy his company anymore

Yup

Are you sure it's a bike he's riding

So when do you get gym/spa/coffee or drinks with friends/hobby time

That's ridiculous and he needs to take 4 days off. Or LTB and his fat calves.

Sorry but he's a dick. That is totally unreasonable.

Go out before he does. Leave him with the kids. Semi serious

Exactly. We went on holiday last summer and some twat told him he had ‘impressive calves.’ I honestly nearly punched the man

Ok serious time though

Have you said something and what has he said

Some guy at work has been flirting with me and it’s made me realise how much I’m missing out on. I’d never cheat but it’s so nice to be treated like a real person

I tell him all the time how much it upsets me. I just can’t take it anymore

My experience says he’s having an affair - I could be wrong but there are a few red flags

1. I only go because you’re always on at me - putting blame on the faithful partner is a classic. They do it to justify they own bad behaviour
2. snapping at the kids - that’s because they start resenting the life they have - they could be out and about living their best lives 🙄 with whoever is more fun.

of course I don’t know him but even if he isn’t having an affair his behaviour is completely unacceptable

So he is ignoring your concerns. I'd be threatening to leave and find someone who actually wants to spend time with you.

I'm all for my husband clearing off for a night or two a week (we don't have kids and I enjoy my peace time) but he is at it every day.

He is ignoring your wishes so ultimatum time.

Are you sure he is cycling all those times?
I have a lot of cyclists in my family and they tend to go first thing while the roads are quite. The Sunday Times in particular are odd why wait for it to go dark and then go out?

Hes avoiding your family and you and I think your thinking is correct. He’s not there for you.

Christ, you must be a saint because I’d have bludgeoned him to death with his own bicycle ages ago.

You are absolutely not unreasonable.

I actually told him tonight I want a divorce. Hence why I’m crying and staying up on here. I’m in the spare room tonight with the lovely cat

Do you ever spend any time together as a family?

And his response?

He’s just blanked me. Nothing.

Unmumsnetty hug and big handhold. At the end of the day, he doesn't need to go every day, unless it's his commute.

I'm glad you have cat. They are the best

Sorry you're crying, I would be too. Men can be cunts.

He needs to prioritise you here or he can get the fuck out.