Struggling with son's girlfriends personality

[Bluebrownies]

Hi all, so my son is 23, in August he set off to go travelling, he met a girl on the trip and they are now dating. He came home last Monday, just for 3 weeks, then they are going to her parents for 3 weeks before setting off around Europe. We live in London so they are staying with us which is great as we missed him a lot, plus they are keeping themselves busy with museums/theatre etc.
She lives abroad and a lot more rural so that will be a nice change of pace for them when they stop with her family.
The issue is I'm really struggling with his girlfriend's personality, she is respectful but I find her quite "a lot". She is very confident, I thought it might be a front as she was nervous but I'm now thinking she is just naturally very self-assured. Obviously there is nothing wrong with confidence but I've also found her to be very judgemental, she has said multiple times that brits are all so fat (as someone with a higher BMI I feel like this is targeted) and she has said several times British girls are ugly, in front of my impressionable teen girls (13 and 16). She usually follows with "not you guys but generally". I also feel like she is just overly opinionated in general, be it the food I cook, what I'm drinking etc. she has something to say about everything.
We also seem to be having a massive PDA issue, I know this is my son too but he has never been like this before, I feel like they are always touching in some way, she constantly plays with his hair or his hands, they kiss all the time, be it pecks or longer kisses it seems to be every 5 minutes, we went out to the pub for rugby on Saturday and despite their being plenty of seats she insisted on sitting on his lap, even feeding him food off her plate like he was a toddler. It all just makes me little uncomfortable, nothing against hand holding, odd kiss here and there but it's relentless, even when I'm trying to talk to them.
There are other things I dislike but I know aren't really any of my business (her dress sense is very revealing for one).

I'm finding it quite draining as obviously she is always with my son and I don't enjoy her presence so I almost avoid them both. I was so looking forward to having him home but now I'm looking forward to them going). My husband thinks it's just cultural and I will learn to love her but AIBU to feel like this because of these things?

Based on my experience, they may actually combust !!

Gently tell your son if she makes any further body shaming or sexist remarks she won’t be welcome in your home.

You could also shrug it off. He will probably not want a long distance relationship and after the travelling you won’t see her again.

But in Spain it's completely normal to show affection when you're in love.

In Spain you go to family dinner with parents/ in-laws to a restaurant and sit on each other's lap and feed each other?

I’m also European and shocked by the average British diet that includes ready made meals (which are not made with high quality ingredients or don’t contain harmful preservatives) and meal deal sandwiches

I'm also european. And I'm not shocked by the ready meals and sandwiches. I'm also not shocked at not having fresh ingredients from scratch and always salad and veggies. Us europeans might might have quite a bit variation than just Italy and UK.

Just seen this story has been picked up by the Mirror. Wankers.

Where?

apple.news/ADbQYwDXmSLuS4z9lJpRMmQ

Oh dear.

Maybe she doesn't realise how hurtful she's being so you could as diplomatically as possible point it out. Have you not spoken to your son about her "ways" or maybe he's so blinded by love doesn't see it? Failing that you could give her a piece of her own medicine because if she's so secure and confident it won't make any difference. Good luck.

OP the ex-gfs comment is gold. Say this.

Yeeeaaahhh,,,that's not self confidence, she's actually an insecure jerk. Truly confident people don't usually make hateful remarks or general insults. Next time she pulls that garbage, just say " I try not to make sweeping general comments about people. I wouldn't want to come off as an ignorant bigot." And look her dead in the eye when you say it. If she gets offended, say that you weren't talking about her, just generally ; )

I am glad things were resolved, but I am still angry at your husband and son. Do they care at all the affect her hateful comments might have on your daughters?

No, that isn’t normal.

I would say that diets aren’t as healthy as before, especially amongst children and teens. I’m a teacher here and see many overweight children. Breakfast is milkshake and biscuits, almuerzo (mid morning snack) is a ham sandwich (mostly processed ham, not jamon) then lunch and dinner varies. Lots of fussy kids here who eat too much pizza and pasta. The difference is when people get to young adulthood it’s very normal to do sport, lose their childhood fussiness and eat the healthier dishes like lentil based dishes and meat/fish regularly. There is less processed food, although Mercadona (most popular supermarket) is beginning to introduce more and it’s becoming more common to see this type of food in people’s trolleys. A lot of pastries are eaten and the bakeries stock a lot of this. Also fast food is just as popular as in the uk with the same demographic it’s popular with in the uk - kids and teens. By no means are people eating a perfect here at all, so don’t believe that. They are incorporating more healthy things into their diet overall though.

Why not raise your daughters to take opinions with a pinch of salt and grow a thicker skin? My colleague from an Eastern European country used to laugh when she said her father told her she was the size of a wardrobe. Yes it's annoying but hardly traumatising.

People's negative opinions can sometimes lead a person to make positive changes that help them feel better about themselves. However, the opposite can occur too, where they may loathe themselves and self destruct. This has always been the way and will always be the way, regardless of what parents or loved one's may say.

What may not be traumatising for one, does not mean it won't for another. A lot of people try to mask how they are feeling. Family members and close friends can often fail to fully realise, until it's too late.

Sometimes, we have to be accountable for the words we say alongside the intentions we have. What we speak out into the atmosphere can be extremely powerful and can lift up a person or cut like a knife.

Love this 😂😂

You are rude to fat people yourself then

Well. Ummm