Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

It was practically word for word too if I remember

When we used a highly sought after tutor for one of our DC the payment was 3k in September for the year to exams. No ifs no buts.

Yes, I can now see that her email reminder did say that if the invoice was not paid, lessons would be cancelled but I'd still expect a more personal text or phonecall before actually replacing us bearing in mind we've been with her since September!

You will be ONE parent out of many she works with.

Tutors can't be bothered to chase parents who are unreliable. Nor do they have the time.

It never changes- once a parent starts paying late and showing disrespect they carry on like that.

Frankly, you're not worth the bother for her.

You’re right. I just don’t understand what the OP gets from it.

So she should care so much about your child that she keeps on tutoring them essentially for free, even though you apparently don't care enough about your child to pay your bills on time? Right...

Agreed
No one can possibly be that selfish and delusional

Not the most original post to fabricate @grassisgreener2015 - was it you who posted a nearly identical one about a childminder cancelling due to non-payment? But you’re getting lots of traffic so well done on that.
Do you ever wonder what leads you to feel the need to make stuff up on anonymous message boards? I suspect a therapist would have a field day.

So 6 months of payment since Sept at the most and once you paid late, once you didn't pay at all even following a reminder.

Yes you've been busy and you probably think tutoring is a side hustle and the tutor can wait until YOU are ready to pay her.

Well you met your match. The tutor appears to like prompt payers, probably has a long waiting list if they are a decent tutor, probably doesn't rate you as a reliable customer.

Learn from this. You come across as entitled.

^She's left our child with no tutor and they're now disadvantaged compared to their friends (grammar area). They are so keen to take the 11 plus and it seems so wrong for her to be punishing a child for my small mistake*

🎻

Either tutor your kid yourself, it can’t be that bloody hard for a primary school level exam for a reasonably educated adult. Or accept your kid is off to comp like 90% of the population

This is on you, not her, that your attempts to buy privilege for your child hasn’t worked

You are responsible for your child's situation, not her. She is neither unkind nor impatient - she has T&C like all businesses do and one of them is she receives payment by a specific date. You wouldn't think it was appropriate to put petrol in your car and 'forget' to pay because you had a busy month so why is it acceptable to forget to pay her?

Step outside of your shoes and see it from her point - she deals with many many parents all of whom receive invoices and multiple don't pay on time. She does not have the time to be chasing individuals with personalised calls and texts - she has a job to do!

DC has music lessons with a sought after teacher yet they are still regularly posting reminders on SM for parents to please pay invoices for the month ahead or they will need to cancel lessons. I don't know if they actually have cancelled any or not but I don't envy them in having to chase payments every month.

The first incident taught you nothing - when providers withdraw their service, people like you learn their lesson at long last

You can't be serious.

This.

And failing to pay is not a "small mistake."

If your kid is disadvantaged, that is entirely the fault of his parent, not his tutor.

Heres an idea for next month “I didn’t pay my DS19’s university accommodation fees despite being chased three times, and now DS is being evicted. The landlord is a total a-hole, right?”

You’re welcome.

How forgiving would you be if your employer forgot to pay your wages, not once but twice?

Impatient and unkind? She gave you notice on the reminder that she would cancel the lessons if you did not settle the fee. You chose not to pay her and turned up on her doorstep like the entitled parent you clearly are. She's not punishing your child – she's running a business! Those fees are her mortgage payments, her bills, her ability to put food on the table, her pension contributions. She is absolutely right and not at all unkind to bin off a family that has repeatedly shown they have no regard for her needing to earn a living.

This is 100% on you, not her.

It didn't 'slip your mind' to turn up for the sessions though did it...just to pay for them. Twice.

You didn’t pay on time and ignored a reminder. The tutor can’t afford to work for nothing. It’s your job to think of your children’s welfare and feelings not hers.

Oh well if she fails due to a lack of tutoring it's probably not the best school for her.

I went to a grammar school and the ones that scraped in with tutoring had a hard time.

You'll just need to be honest with your daughter that you fucked it for her.

I’m sorry but forgetting to pay someone for their services, even after receiving an invoice reminder, is not a ‘small mistake’. I also think it’s entirely unfair that you’re attacking this woman’s character, and even going so far as to claim she shouldn’t be working with children, due to a mistake that was entirely your fault. Maybe you should take some time to reflect and take some responsibility for your own actions instead of jumping straight to blaming her for your mistake. Why should she have to spend time chasing you with ‘a more personal text or phone call’…there’s clearly a demand for her services, and she’s given you the information in black and white that she would cancel if you didn’t pay, on a reminder that she was kind enough to send. It’s not her fault you both didn’t respond to the reminder or bother to actually read it. None of this even takes into account the fact that this isn’t the first time you’d forgotten to pay her… given the circumstances I think she’s been more than fair.

I was SE service provider and late/non-payers was a key driver in taking an employed position despite the lower pay. Aside from being irritating, It's the sense of entitlement that used to get me - just like op some would get annoyed at me if I dare suggest my services would be suspended due to non-payment. And I'm afraid to say the wealthier ones were the worst as I just don't think they realised their share of my wages could mean the difference between covering my bills or not.

YABU and I don't blame the tutor one bit. Accept you are wrong and pay on time without the need for reminders next time.

If it was so important to you and your child, you should not have forgotten to pay once, let alone twice.

I would have been fed up of you too.

You were with her five months, you were late for a previous month's payment and then late again for this month's payment, she sent you a reminder you still didn't pay. She was absolutely right to terminate the contract. She hasn't let your child down, you have.

You've had time in your busy life to email her over the weekend but not time in your busy life to remember to pay her on time - wouldn't take long to set up a direct debit - I'm intrigued as to how many lessons your daughter didn't turn up to and why - was she poorly or did you have something better to do ? - I wonder if you actually told the tutor in advance on those occasions that she wouldn't be coming ?

You embarrassed yourself

Really? Ugh. What a waste of everyone's time.

Nobody is this self centred and thick surely?