Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

Nope this is on you OP. She's running a business. Nothing to do with being unkind or impatient. You're the reason your child has no tutor. You didn't pay despite being reminded - twice.
I'm a tutor. I have a waiting list. I'd have done the same.

So, op, if I charge £x for a service, do I want

Person A who pays the invoice on time

Or

Person B who doesn't, I then need to spend time reminding, who then may or may not pay, who then may or may not turn up, who then expects a personal phone call to remind them to pay, which they then may or may not do.

So person B has taken 100x the time involved as person A for the same £x pounds. Who do you think I want as my customer?

Having a tutor isn't a basic human right. If they are in demand, you didn't pay, they send you a reminder, you still didn't pay, they released your space to someone else.

Sorry but they were right.

I worked as a dyslexia tutor for 20 years and prepared some for common entrance as well (and GCSEs). I had a waiting list and turned students away because of that.

I used to get really fed up with families who didn't pay on time. I asked for half a term in advance. The students came to me, so I could hardly turn them away.

It was my income- not some 'pin money' or a hobby.

You need to treat professionals with some respect.

I just feel that someone this unkind and impatient should not be working with children to be honest.
She's been neither unkind nor impatient - she sent you a reminder which you ignored. This is a source of income for her and if people don't pay, then ignore a reminder, she has no choice but to replace them with someone more grateful for her services.

She's left our child with no tutor and they're now disadvantaged compared to their friends (grammar area).

Let's be clear.... YOU have left your child with no tutor by not paying the bill.

FWIW I firmly believe that if children need that much tutoring to pass the 11+, a grammar school might not be the right place for them. Not sure if you still can but you used to be able to buy practice papers so at least you can help your child become familiar with the types of questions.

So, you forgot to pay, she reminded you to pay and also told you that lessons would be cancelled if you didn't pay.
You still didn't pay, so the lesson was cancelled - and you think the tutor is at fault because she didn't send a third reminder? Honestly, the impact on your child now is on you.
Everyone makes mistakes but FFS take some responsibility here!
YABU.

Yes, I can now see that her email reminder did say that if the invoice was not paid, lessons would be cancelled but I'd still expect a more personal text or phonecall before actually replacing us bearing in mind we've been with her since September!

In a few short months, you have cancelled (“a few”) lessons - did you pay for those?; not paid an invoice; ignored a reminder to pay.

HELL SLAP IT INTO YE.

Also, YABU for repeatedly posting variations of the same story.

I replied on your first post.

Then you double down with this comment "I just feel that someone this unkind and impatient should not be working with children to be honest."

She is not unkind nor is she impatient. She reminded you that your payment was outstanding and you hadn't paid as per her terms & conditions. She is running a tutoring business here, not a charity, and she is well within her rights to accept clients on their ability to pay (and ability to remember to pay).

You further compound your rudeness with this gem "She's left our child with no tutor and they're now disadvantaged compared to their friends (grammar area). They are so keen to take the 11 plus and it seems so wrong for her to be punishing a child for my small mistake."
She hasn't done this. YOU did. YOU didn't pay in time for her services so YOU left YOUR child without her as a tutor.

Find another tutor.
Preferably one who clearly doesn't give a shit about when they get paid as you mentioned this wasn't your first time when you forgot to pay in time. Any goodwill you may have had with this tutor has been used up by now.

Oh wow! So you don't pay her or correctly read her emails yet she is bend over backwards for you??

YOU let your child by not taking care of your responsibilities to your tutor! Shocked at how entitled you are

Of course YABU. You want a service, you pay. Would you work for free?

If you ran a business you would believe them. These people are out there, whether this particular one is true or not.

Good for her! YABVU.

If you use a tutor with a long waiting list this is what will happen if you don't pay! Tutors aren't public services but highly desirable and sought after luxuries!

I despair 😞

Pay your bills on time and this wouldn’t happen.

And September isn't that long. I've got families I've worked with for years.

Yes and they have outgoings like mortgages!

There is this belief amongst some parents that tutoring is the lowest form of teaching. And that they can mess tutors about by paying late.

They forget that tutors run their practice as a business, pay tax and need the income to live on.

If all parents paid late what then?

You are 100% at fault here.
You seem to not have any awareness at all so I doubt you will learn anything from this experience which is a shame.

'Unkind and impatient'??!!

You pay monthly.

You started in September.

You had already been late paying once, and now you didn't pay.

So out of 6 months, you only paid for 4 on time.

It's a no brainer who is being unreasonable here.

If it was so important why didn't you make sure you paid on time?

Yes, exactly

Did you post on previous occasion? Sorry but tutor had no confirmation of your attendance so resold their timeslot. You even had a reminder and were in default. What do terms and conditions state?

When I was freelance, chasing payments is the worst. She’ll have bills to pay and you gave her additional work in chasing you then you still didn’t pay. This is on you. She isn’t unkind, you messed up but blaming her makes you feel better.

@grassisgreener2015

I just feel that someone this unkind and impatient should not be working with children to be honest. She's left our child with no tutor and they're now disadvantaged compared to their friends (grammar area). They are so keen to take the 11 plus and it seems so wrong for her to be punishing a child for my small mistake.
She's not unkind or impatient. She reminded you. Her terms are in the reminder. Being a doormat and accepting poor customer behaviour is not unkind nor impatient.
She has not left your child with no tutor nor has she disadvantaged your child. YOU did that all by yourself.

She has behaved professionally from what you have written. She provided the service promised. She accepted your cancellations. She dealt with non payment by reminding you. When you didn't pay after the reminder she followed her terms and is no longer offering her service to you.

You seem to think that unless the tutor accepted all and every unreasonable action from you that she is in the wrong. She isn't. This is all on you.