Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

Absolutely no way would I be sharing lessons with you if I was the parent of the new pupil. And if I was the tutor, I would never even contemplate putting the parent in that position either. You've badly messed up. Own it

Way too much entitlement in your responses, OP. Why on earth should the other parent share the lessons with you?! Why on earth should the tutor accept you back into her classroom? What makes you believe you are above these people. You continue to believe that you are entitled to be “forgiven” for your mistakes, but you were provided this the first time you didn’t comply!!!

You are bonkers.

Oh I'm pretty sure this is real. In grammar areas and specifically within certain communities, tutoring for grammar schools is a 2/3 year commitment, and getting into a good grammar school is seen as the be all and end all of life! I'm not going to name any specific communities for the fear of being flamed on here!

I've experienced people lying about having a tutor or how many times a week their child is getting tutored - all in the name of giving their child an edge over others!

@grassisgreener2015
Please just leave the other mum alone. You say she is a parent from the school you work at. Do not put her in the position of having a staff member from her child’s school asking for something, and if it’s asked in the way we all suspect, it will be very pushy. That is horrible situation to put her in. Her child attends the school you work in, she may very well feel unable to say no in case you treat her child badly. So don’t ask. It isn’t her fault, and her child’s lessons are totally independent from what you did. This is no one else’s fault. Leave them alone.

OP you are harassing the tutor and now you want to harass a parent. If you continue they could consider legal advice about your behaviour.

I’m a tutor and the tone of your posts is getting my back up, never mind the actual tutor!

‘punishing a child for my small mistake’
She’s not punishing a child. There’s no spite involved so stop being dramatic. She’s running a business and you didn’t pay despite an invoice and a reminder. The lessons aren’t yours until you’ve paid. Even on the day of the lesson, you hadn’t paid! You just turned up! At what point do you think it was ok for her to offer the lesson to someone else? Should she have not booked it up and waited, unpaid, to see if you’d turn up? You are being so cheeky here.

‘I'm a busy working mum who made a mistake.’
So, presumably, are the other clients who all pay on time. Your mistake was to not pay. That means you don’t receive the service!

‘if the tutor can’t get past this’.
OP, this isn’t some unreasonable grudge held against you, a victim of terrible injustice. This is the second time you’ve not paid and you’ve not been having lessons with her for that long. How many reminders and chasing do you expect before the goodwill erodes? Nobody wants unreliable clients. It’s not our job to chase you for money a third time - get yourself organised and add a reminder to your phone. The entitlement is off the scale.

I didn’t say this in my first reply but I bet your messages to her have been similarly irritating (I hope you can get past this / my child is being punished / this is so unfair) and she’s probably replaced your child with one whose parents are a lot less hassle. Harsh but true.

I live in one of those areas .... I knew a parent who had 4 different tutors for her child (he had tutoring every day after school and at the weekends) all to get him into grammar school. And it didn't work.

Careful now, showing your true colours here.

Please just leave the poor tutor alone.

You're unbelievable 🤦🏻‍♀️

It’s not a BOGOF situation; if there are two children the cost will be higher. Your post is unbelievable.

I think you need to consider the reasons why your child needs tutoring.
I passed the 11+ myself, aeons ago, without tutoring; my parents obtained practice books for me, simply to familiarise the format of the questions.
There may be valid reasons for a child needing a bit of a boost, such as absences through illness or moving from another part of the country, or, as in my case, learning familiarity with the way questions are formatted.
However some caution is needed. The reference to your offspring possibly wandering off during zoom lessons does not augur well.
One of the schools where I taught was selective, and if a child had been coached to the eyeballs to pass the entrance test, but lacked the drive and stamina, it would eventually become apparent, Sometimes they were pushed to securing a place in January or thereabouts, the parents heaved a sigh of relief when they were in, offer accepted, the foot came off the accelerator pedal, and they gently bumbled along at a leisurely pace until the following September.
Some friends of mine pushed their son into a grammar school place by dint of intensive tutoring, (both teachers themselves) but he could not sustain the pace once there and it did not end well.
As for shared lessons; I did some individual instrumental tutoring, and small groups for ensemble work. Both have value, but they develop different skills;

Let. It. Go.

And leave the poor tutor alone. She’s told you and now she’s ignoring you so you have your answer. Don’t approach the other parent who presumably has paid on time. It’s getting creepy now OP.

WTAF have I read here! As much as I think it has to be a piss take I have had a similar experience!
I had a parent who paid late twice and when it happened the third time (10 days late) I decided that was enough and informed the parent that lessons would be stopping due to lack of payment. I didn’t receive a response so assumed she was embarrassed but accepted the consequences of her actions. Demand is huge at the moment so the slot was filled in 5 minutes. I tutor online and I received an email from the parent 2 weeks later asking where the lesson link was because her DC couldn’t find it! 😳 It was as if she assumed that seeing as it was the start of a new month that I’d somehow be happy to start tutoring her DC again despite her missed payments! 😂 So I can confirm that there really are people out there this entitled.

OP's responses are truly the gift that keeps on giving.

4 tutors!!! And tutoring everyday!! Oh that poor child. It must be so bad for their confidence to go through that and still not get through 😔

Why would the tutor want to have 2 children for the price of one? Is that a service she offers?

Why would the tutor have time to squeeze your child in if they are full?

It isn't about "getting past it" the tutor has moved on. Why wouldn't they?

Concentrate on finding a new tutor. Even if online is not your first choice it is better than nothing.

This morning, I have just received the half termly invoice from my 11+ tutor. I have paid it straight away.
BTW - I am also a busy mum who works full time.

OP's tone deafness and entitlement is quite impressive

Every update makes you seem more entitled op. You say you are child oriented yet your solution now is your child who gets distracted in group sessions should share with another child so more work for the tutor for no extra money and the other child gets less support and attention?
You also seem like you want to blackmail the tutor all those referrals she will miss out on. Well it doesn't seem like she needs them and it's really petty you wouldn't recommend her especially as you are so desperate for your child to work with her again! Please don't embarrass yourself bad mouthing her - the only person responsible for the situation is you

I’m usually against the media picking up on threads, but I can be the only one hoping that this one goes viral 😂

Jesus do NOT approach the other Mum!

I don't think I've ever encountered anyone so breathtakingly self centred.

It's such a pity if the tutor can't get past this.

My god, you haven't learned a thing, have you?

Sorry if this thread isn't still running, but honestly, there is no need for people to continue to justify their thoughts. You signed up to a contract with this teacher. yu broke the contract. She gave you time to pay the outstanding in order to rectify your error and you apparently forgot to pay her bill.

I've been teaching (successfully) for nearly 20 years, and have never, ever had a student or parent think it appropriate to turn up to a lesson without paying their bill.

The audacity takes my breath away.