Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

@grassisgreener2015 tutors are running a business!! does not matter what the age of the users are, if they are late with payments then the tutor, in turn, becomes late making their payments!!! nothing to do with kindness!!

I wonder if a similar scenario has actually happened to the OP, and it’s stirred up something desperate and trauma linked for them. The repeated posting of variations on a theme could be an attempt to be validated. In which case, OP, seek help.

Anyway, we can’t know. They might just be bored I suppose..

Nah. You are completely unreasonable.
Change your mindset. She's not "unkind" she's just now bending to your whim.

Adjust your attitude, find another tutor and pay this one on time, every time.

DH is a music teacher - I swear some parents think he does it for a fun hobby. Just pay the invoice on time. It’s not hard.

September is 6 months, so 6 payments and 2 of them late. The second late payment, you had a reminder warning that you’d be removed as a client and you still didn’t pay. But you think she is being unreasonable?! And “not kind.”

She has not disadvantaged your child. You did that. Only you. There is nothing wrong with what she did and cancelling a non-payer does not make her unfit to work with children.

Sort yourself out.

I think a lot of parents think tutors do it as a hobby or because they can't get a 'real ' teaching role.

I used to tutor for almost 20 hours a week at my busiest.

I want to hear from the 1% of voters who think the OP is NOT being unreasonable!

I just feel that someone this unkind and impatient should not be working with children to be honest.

This is a really dishonest and manipulative framing. You've already said that you're really happy with the progress your child has made; she's obviously an excellent tutor.

You were given a second chance after a previous late payment; and given a written reminder with consequences clearly laid out this time. You still failed to pay.

Do you also think that 'someone this forgetful and negligent should not be parenting children'?

You didn't pay for February 🤣 why are you showing up to lessons you haven't paid for??

It’s hardly a small mistake. You didn’t pay.
I’d love to know what made your life ‘so busy‘ that you failed to pay not once but twice and even after being reminded.

It is the same as saying "I forgot my bank card at Tesco and they wouldn't let me take my shopping. I have shopped there for years and know I need my bank card but it was in a different bag. I needed food for our dinner that evening. I just don't think they should be selling essential items if they are going to be so impatient and unkind"

YABU - would you feel like turning up to work if they had skipped payday and ignored a reminder?

she probably thought you’d moved on given you didn’t pay and then ignored a reminder.

It’s not her job to pander to you and chase you twice and she’s within her right to seek clients who aren’t this level of aggro.

Only yourself to blame here. Lesson learned.

If this happened on Friday, why did you start the thread at 8am on a Monday? What’s happened today to make you suddenly feel you need validated when you’re in the wrong 100%?

Are you stupid? She needs to be paid to live. For the second time you did not pay her. Check your entitlement. She did not embarrass you by booking another client, you embarrassed yourself by expecting a service you did not pay for. She is not unkind for not wanting to tutor your child for free, but you are for not paying her. She is not punishing your small child, this is your fault for not paying in time, take some accountability. She doesn’t seem to have any issue working with children, seems she has an issue with freeloading, uncommunicative parents

As others have said - it’s your fault alone that your children now have no tutor.

The tutor needs that money to pay her mortgage and feed her kids. Why should she have to worry about how she’s going to afford her weekly shopping because you can’t be bothered to pay on time? She doesn’t, so she found a family that will pay her reliably so that she can pay her own bills on time.

This has got to be a piss take or a reverse
surely no on is this ridiculous

She's not punishing your child! She's running a business.
But if you feel she's unkind or not good with children then don't use her but use another tutor or help ypur DC practice papers yourself

This is a windup I think? Nobody is this entitled and irresponsible. The tutor has bills to pay , failing to pay her when reminded is not a small mistake, and she doesn’t owe you anything. You owe it to your child to be more careful. As I think you know really.

She's left our child with no tutor and they're now disadvantaged compared to their friends (grammar area).

No, YOU’VE left your child with no tutor. It’s YOUR actions that led to this outcome. Take responsibility and stop blaming the tutor who followed known procedures.

Why so unpleasant?

I'm a busy working mum who made a mistake.

I'll have to look for a new tutor.

I accept I made a mistake. It's a pity the tutor isn't more understanding but maybe that's why she's no longer a class teacher. I do understand that she has bills to pay and I wasn't planning to never pay the invoice, I'm not a thief and i wasnt expecting lessons for free! I do accept she won't be continuing with us though. Such a shame.

Why so unpleasant?

the lack of insight you display op is quite astonishing

You didn’t pay on time and even when reminded, still didn’t pay. It’s your fault.
The only person who has disadvantaged your child is you, by failing to pay on time.

Also “she” hasn’t left her child without a tutor, you have. “She” hasn’t disadvantaged him, you have. “She” isn’t punishing him. She’s not a charity, this is her job and you paid late or not at all for 2 out of the 6 months she’s worked for. This is not a “small mistake” and you’re realising this now as someone has implemented valid consequences that you were warned about.

The audacity to show up having not paid!

You paid late previously, and then hadn’t paid this month.
thats twice in 6 months.

pretty lax. and disrespectful.
For something you think important.
to someone you respect.

You are massively unreasonable and entitled.

She sent you a reminder, you failed to pay.

This is entirely in you.

You created the embarrassing situation because you failed to fulfill your end of the contract.