Tutor canceled lessons!

[grassisgreener2015]

AIBU to think our (now ex) tutor has behaved unreasonably?

Our 11 plus tutor charges monthly in advance and I stupidly forgot to pay for February's lessons on time. She did remind me once about the invoice but it just slipped my mind as it's been a really busy few weeks.

We turned up for our lesson on Friday and she actually turned us away and had arranged for another family to take our place! I feel really embarrassed as the other family are from our school and they were there when she sent us away.

We've been having lessons since September and I've only paid late once on one other occasion. We've cancelled very few lessons and we're really pleased with our child's progress.

I think the tutor has been really impatient and quite frankly, rude! Surely someone working with children should be kinder than this and could have given us some leeway?

You need to get over it. Don’t ask for a shared session, the tutor may not even agree to it, your child would get less out of it than 1 to 1 tutoring and it’s to the detriment of another child as well. Rather than spending all your energy on how to get this tutor back, start brushing up on the material so you can tutor your child yourself.

OP, they're not "more money-oriented" than you: your income is guaranteed, hers isn't!!! If she doesn't secure her income, she has reduced/no income. This isn't hard to understand.

Also, your idea about splitting the cost of a lesson and sharing it between two pupils just further demonstrates that you have no idea about the realities this tutor faces. If she does this, she will have to tutor two children at once, for less money.

Also, you have no idea whether she "certainly earns more an hour" than you do.

Remember, she has to pay all her own tax, insurance, cover sick pay for herself, her own holiday pay, and pension from what she charges per her, as well as the heating bills for the lovely heated cabin, teaching resources, and whatever else is essential for her tutoring work. Her hourly rate is not funneled directly into her pocket.

Also, how very money-oriented of you to want to share the cost of lessons at the overall detriment of both children! I thought you were child-orientated, OP. For shame!

Oh to be bloody self absorbed! You couldn't make this up could you!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

She doesn’t need you! She will have lots of word of mouth recommendations from past parents. And will probably tutor students from more than one school.

And as for sharing with other student without the agreement of tutor… you will probably forget to pay your half of the fee and cancel every third lesson.

Get on the stage @grassisgreener2015 …

😂😂

What a piece of work! For the sake of your OWN professional reputation, please for the love of god, DROP IT! This is literally harassment!!

I've popped a card through the tutor's door apologizing yet again and nicely asking her to reconsider. No reply yet. I'm wondering if she might consider us sharing the lesson with the new family and going halves on the cost so I'm going to suggest this to the other mum next time I see her.

Leave these poor people alone 🤣🤣🤣 you’re the local nut job.

I don’t think she needs you or your recommendations or your inability to pay for a service

've popped a card through the tutor's door apologizing yet again and nicely asking her to reconsider. No reply yet. I'm wondering if she might consider us sharing the lesson with the new family and going halves on the cost so I'm going to suggest this to the other mum next time I see her.

Fucking hell. You really don’t seem able to grasp this do you?

SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU AS A CLIENT!!!!!

She didn’t reply to your emails. She hasn’t responded to your “apology” card. Please do not contact the new family. You’re embarrassing yourself now. They commissioned and are paying for 1:1 tuition. They won’t want to share. Especially not with a client the tutor has already refused to work with and who won’t get the message! You can’t make the woman tutor your child by stealth means (i.e. pestering another parent to agree to share their child’s lesson with you). Even if they agreed (they won’t!), the tutor will very likely refuse to agree to that arrangement as SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU AS A CLIENT!!! You’ll only embarrass yourself. (But no doubt come on here to tell us all how very unreasonable and unchild focused the tutor is).

32 pages and Op still hasn’t understood that the tutor doesn’t want her as a customer.
It’s a business. She was providing a service with t & cs. You didn’t pay so she’s ended the business relationship.
Please don’t speak to other mum it’s embarrassing. Even if you persuade her then tutor doesn’t want you as a customer so it would be pointless.
I also wouldn’t badmouth tutor I’d think more of tutor for running a professional business.
It sounds like tutor is running a thriving in demand service in a professional way.
As for your dc see if another tutor has a slot or diy with the bond books.

Wow. Just wow.

You are a truly awful person OP. With zero self-awareness. It's embarrassing.

If you are even real that is?!

How anyone can have so little self awareness makes me sad

I've admitted I made a mistake! And now I'm trying to fix it.

Why so unpleasant?

The concept of she chooses her clients has totally escaped you. It’s a 2 way relationship. If you hadn’t been happy with her you’d have ended it, she wasn’t happy with you - late payer so she ended it.

@cheeseismydownfall - I might have missed the post but I don't think anyone is saying that the grammar school system improves social mobility. It hasn't done for over 50 years

I think there was one generation that it did create social mobility and that was for my parents - they turn 80 and 77 this year. For every generation since there has been some sort of middle class manipulation to try to get their DC into grammar - usually by paying for a tutor.

I live in a grammar area, we got tutors for my DC much like the rest of the people who can afford them. Don't blame the parents, blame the Local Authorities who should retire this archaic system. I suspect they enjoy having the 'best state secondary schools' in their borough.

Good job, OP, you fooled a lot of people

@grassisgreener2015 You need to give up with this tutor. She's made it clear she doesn't want your business.

For the love of God, don't suggest to the other mum that you share lessons. Imagine how you will feel when the the tutor, when presented with this option, tells the other mum that she doesn't want to do business with you.

You need to walk away and find another option.
And be honest with your child.

You embarrassed yourself by turning up without having paid.

Fixing it would be finding another tutor or buying the bond books and doing them with dc.
The business relationship with the tutor is over. It’s an irreversible position. Trying to somehow pressure tutor by speaking to other mum, pushing card through is totally inappropriate.

So you now won't recommend her ?
Because of how entitled you evidently are.
Unbelievable how you don't seem to grasp at all how you come across .

Your proposed attempts to "fix it" simply aren't appropriate, but you just don't seem to understand that.

Every admission of an error on your part is associated with another dig at this poor tutor who has done nothing other than enforce the terms associated with using her service.

To repeat what all posters are unanimously telling you, leave her alone!! That is how you fix it

Such a shame you can't see how unpleasant you have been towards this woman who has done nothing wrong

Because you're still enacting like a spoilt entitled child by insisting the tutor should allow you to "fix it"! You're not accepting that your behaviour continues to be the problem, and still making sly little digs even now!

You're the unpleasant one here. Massively so.

It's not fixable. You only have yourself to blame.