To think this reaction is self absorbed.

[Mrsmozza123]

So. Everyone is fine but.
I went to check on my 4 year DS while he was sleeping. He'd taken his duvet out of the cover got inside the duvet cover and wrapped himself in it. I found him tangled and for a terrible split second I thought he could have strangled or suffocated. He was fine, a bit hot but definitely breathing and moving. Thank goodness.
I called my DH for help a few times and he shouted back "Yes?".
Eventually once I knew DS was safe I went downstairs to tell DH what had happened. I was really shaken.
DH seemed more concerned that i was having a go at him for not coming upstairs. I really wasn't.
I was expecting him to hug me or say thank goodness he's OK, to share my concern.

Instead he was saying "well you didn't sound very panicked, how was it supposed to know you needed me?"
And
"Sounds like you've just come downstairs to have a go at me"
I just walked off, I've had a little cup of tea and a cry on my own because I can't sleep.

Thank you. Xxx

To all those saying a 4 year old couldn’t strangle themselves with sheets, they absolutely could.

I work with adults in an environment where self harm is rife and bedding is often used and is a real threat.

'I called my DH for help a few times'

were you actually calling / shouting ' help ' ' insert husband's name help ' ' help '
or were you calling ' insert husband's name '

I actually didn't lash out though.

He lashed out at me when I told him I'd had a fright.
I didn't rose to it I just walked away and sat on my own.

I have seen a video saying that children shouldn't have duvet covers with buttons as there is a strangulation risk. I hope you're ok OP.

How did the shouting not wake your 4 year old?

Seriously though - I can see how you’d be alarmed in the moment but you did overreact, your DS wasn’t in danger and is fine now, so all this crying alone in rooms and wanting your DH to treat it like a near death experience is perhaps a bit much. Do you often catastrophise to this extent? I find I do when my anxiety is bad.

You do sound a tad bit dramatic over this OP. My child has been sleeping like that for years - the only way he can actually sleep - they won’t suffocate or strangle themselves at that age. If you’ve got form for being like that over things, maybe DH is tired of it hence the snapping.

Not particularly relevant, but the majority of those I work with do not have ‘mental health difficulties’.

I was referring to the posters who said it was impossible to strangle yourself with bedding. It is very possible. Just like it’s very possible to completely cut off circulation to a finger or toe with a tightly wound single hair.

I think the OP is getting an unnecessarily hard time.

I think you've had a terrible fright, in that exact moment in that room and he's none the wiser really and doesn't get it because he's not had that emotional experience. Just forget it. I'm so glad your wee one is ok.

I'm entitled to cry whenever I want. And if im alone- who is affected?

I'm pissed my husband chose to have a go. No reaction would have been better.

Obviously thr not waking up added to my anxiety but he will sleep through anything.

I'm pretty sure they were saying to 'accidentally' strangle yourself with bedding?

I can understand your dh being bewildered at you. That's not a normal reaction and maybe you need to look at your anxiety levels before you pass on anxiety to your DS. I don't think you were self absorbed but maybe a touch hysterical.

For now just reframe the incident from "I got a nasty shock and need attention" to "I overreacted and need to calm down amd stop blaming my DH". Maybe look at therapy or mindfulness.

Literally. Nothing. Happened.

I’m not saying you aren’t entitled to, I’m saying that it’s perhaps an indication that you may be somewhat anxious which is something help is available for. Because YOU are being affected.

And to be frank the level of snappiness you are responding to posts with also suggests that perhaps all is not well.

I’ve had quite bad anxiety for a number of years, including health anxiety for my DS, and life is so much better now it’s in check. I just wanted you to know that if there’s a background of being very anxious and overreacting there are things that can help.

I didn't blame my DH though as I have said. Just explained what had happened.

I'm annoyed he accused me of not being panicked enough.

Do you have any examples of my snappiness?

Genuine question. How would you react if you thought your child wasn't breathing?

It’s the fact you thought your child wasn’t breathing when no reasonable person would draw that conclusion that makes this so ridiculous though.

I'm annoyed he accused me of not being panicked enough.

Now you're just twisting his response to suit your own purposes because your thread isn't going how you wanted.

Well, there was the part where you called anyone who disagreed with you “not nice people”, the stroppy “I’m entitled to cry by myself if I want to”, and then there’s the fact that you are pointedly avoiding anything anyone says about you potentially overreacting due to underlying anxiety…..

What makes you think it wasn't a reasonable conclusion?

@Mrsmozza123 Sending hugs, I'd have panicked too if I saw that
I'm not a hysterical person but have a fear of my kids putting anything near their necks or faces. Infact I'm one of those folk who can get themselves wrapped in the bedding trying to change sheets and panic for myself. There's something about it.
I hope your okay and glad all is well xx

He’s defensive because he feels guilty.
If he acknowledged it was genuinely worrying and scary he would need to face up to the fact he left you to deal with it on your own.