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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate Friday evenings

190 replies

toastbutterjamandtea · 08/02/2025 08:04

We have two children, DS(4) and DD (2). DS used to go to an after school club twice a week with me picking up the other three days. On Fridays this club has now stopped due to lack of intake.

This isn’t as bad as it could have been because DH usually works from home Fridays but now it means he has to rush out to get DS then carries on working while DS watches TV. He gets bored, demands snacks (which DH gives to him which I do understand because he’s still working) and then starts messing around and messing the lounge and toy area up.

So I have to get DD from nursery and she’s always at her most clingy and demanding then walk through the door and have to cajole DS into having a healthy dinner and have an absolute tip. Then DS is always stroppy and difficult at bath time.

I have changed my work hours in light of this but I can’t do so until September. So right now I HATE Fridays!

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 08/02/2025 08:09

Was this an after school club run by the school? I am surprised they didn't have enough numbers, our after school club is always busy! What do other working parents do I wonder?

Is there a childminder with space on a Friday? Can you arrange a playdate and then reciprocate by having their child on a different night?

Original poster
toastbutterjamandtea · 08/02/2025 08:11

@Moonnstars - it’s only a very small school and there aren’t any childminders who do drop offs and pick ups. The wraparound is on Monday - Thursday but we only needed it on Wednesday and Friday!

OP posts:
greengreyblue · 08/02/2025 08:14

Our after school club is always very quiet on a Friday evening. About 3/4 chn most weeks. Can your DH not negotiate an early finish on a Friday until September? He could make up the hours elsewhere The children need to be looked after not dumped in front of the tv with snacks Could you negotiate with another parent and then give them a couple of hours over the weekend?

Zanatdy · 08/02/2025 08:15

Can your DH do some compressed hours so that he finishes for the day at school finish? Then he could take him out somewhere, use up some energy. We have a lot of colleagues who do that every day to save money, and I am dubious about the amount of work that is actually done at that time. Fortunately for me mine went to the afterschool club which was Mon-Fri, even if I was working at home. I think many have got used to doing it as it saves money but it’s not great for the kids

JimHalpertsWife · 08/02/2025 08:15

Could dh put in a flexible working request to either do 7am-3pm on a Friday or just cut 2 hours off his Friday and add 30mins each onto the other days?

Original poster
toastbutterjamandtea · 08/02/2025 08:20

I don’t think he can, not regularly anyway. He is on the help desk Fridays and so does seem to have to be there, although who knows either way with DH work. I’m not trying to shoot him down but to be honest if he does have the kids the house always looks like Beirut after an hour. It isn’t that big a deal in the scheme of things but Fridays used to be my chill day and now they’re definitely my stress day.

OP posts:
Plaitedplait · 08/02/2025 08:25

Moonnstars · 08/02/2025 08:09

Was this an after school club run by the school? I am surprised they didn't have enough numbers, our after school club is always busy! What do other working parents do I wonder?

Is there a childminder with space on a Friday? Can you arrange a playdate and then reciprocate by having their child on a different night?

The school I teach at has never managed to run Friday after school care because of lack of uptake. Other days are busy.

Wigglypasta · 08/02/2025 08:27

Could you change his Friday night dinner? So he has a "packed lunch" type of tea? Lots of healthy snacks / sandwiches etc. all made and ready to go when he gets in with DH so he can graze on those instead of just random snacks and then you don't have the stress of trying to get him to eat a healthy dinner?

Original poster
toastbutterjamandtea · 08/02/2025 08:28

The problem is he already has that at lunch on Friday. Otherwise I would.

OP posts:
Martymcfly24 · 08/02/2025 08:29

To be fair to DH though if he's working on a help desk and minding a 4 year old I'm not surprised he's giving snacks or TV. Think he definitely gets the worse end of the stick here than collecting from nursery.

Maybe one of ye the could have a dinner ready the night before to heat up after school so Ds could eat that and then wouldn't want the snacks.

Original poster
toastbutterjamandtea · 08/02/2025 08:31

Well - it isn’t great for anybody to be honest, including DS.

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 08/02/2025 08:32

Plaitedplait · 08/02/2025 08:25

The school I teach at has never managed to run Friday after school care because of lack of uptake. Other days are busy.

Show quote history

I am surprised, but guess it all depends on size of school and the type of parents and jobs they work in.

OP Can you try the playdate option is there is any parent you know? Doesn't have to be the same one each week, but if you take their child another night they might be happy to swap?

KarmenPQZ · 08/02/2025 08:33

Is your son ‘messing up the toy area’ or is he playing with his toys? Mr it sounds a bit like a control thing from you? Could you / your husband set up one activity / novel toy set out for him along with access to ‘treat snacks’ son knows he’s allowed and can help himself to to make it easier?

JimHalpertsWife · 08/02/2025 08:33

Just drop the healthy dinner. Honestly, once a week won't harm! Oven food for the win for the kids on a Friday.

You and dh eat later once the kids are in bed if you want something better.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 08/02/2025 08:34

So are you at work on Friday too? What time does dd finish nursery? What is the time frame for all this?

KarmenPQZ · 08/02/2025 08:35

And maybe do a frozen pizza dinner or something? We had pizza omelette (essentially a omelette cut into pizza slices with their chosen topping ham, cheese etc for a super quick meal when home in a stressful day.

it’s not great to work and look after a 4 year old so I think you need to set yourselves up as a family to manage it as best you can

socks1107 · 08/02/2025 08:35

Change your expectations of dinner that night and bath him on Saturday morning. Don’t made it hard for yourself be flexible in your routine

TwentyTwentyFive · 08/02/2025 08:35

To be honest if all that's happening is there is a mess from him playing then I think this is one of those situations you just need to accept isn't great but everyone is doing their best.

He's safe, fed, occupied and dad is still able to get his work done. Yes it's not ideal but he's 4, he's had a busy week at school and so what if he makes a bit of mess.

greengreyblue · 08/02/2025 08:35

Friday’s were always easy dinner when mine were little.

TickingAlongNicely · 08/02/2025 08:37

Any friends in a similar situation? Have a childcare swap... you have a friends kid one of the other days, then they have your DS on a Friday.

Original poster
toastbutterjamandtea · 08/02/2025 08:37

@KarmenPQZ there is an element of both! I do accept he’s playing but it can be frustrating when eg he empties an entire tray of toys to get the one he wants. He also kicked a box over yesterday because he was frustrated about something. It’s a bad time - he’s tired and stroppy and then feels ignored by DH so ups the ante if you like. I am not blaming him or DH, just explaining what I walk into!

OP posts:
RhaenysRocks · 08/02/2025 08:37

I agree that a once a week pizza night with cucumber, veggies etc is not a disaster and could be turned into a fun family tradition. Also, so what if he has sandwiches at lunch? If doing similar for tea means everyone has a nice calm evening, surely that's a win? I do think you sound a little upright about the toys etc. He's playing!

Original poster
toastbutterjamandtea · 08/02/2025 08:37

And no, no one in the same boat - hence why the club closed I guess!

OP posts:
Original poster
toastbutterjamandtea · 08/02/2025 08:38

and yes I don’t mean I spend hours cooking, but it’s still something to do with a clingy toddler in the middle of what feels like the ruins of an ancient archaeological dig!

OP posts:
JimHalpertsWife · 08/02/2025 08:39

What time does dh log off? What time do you and dd walk through the door?

Does the nursery dd is at not run an after school element too? Our primary often has staff from the local private nurseries come to do sibling pick ups and take them back to the nurseries for the rest of the day.