I just don't want to have sex tonight

[avm]

EuGH my Husband is going to come and make it clear he wants sex tonight and I'm dreading it already.

I just don't want to. He'll spend ages trying to convince me to and possibly get annoyed if I don't do it.

We've been having sex once a week and I think it should be fine to say no without all the hassle ?

I'm so sick of the hassle that saying no causes.

Also he's a grumpy bastard anyway. Sometimes I do it, to see if he'll be less grumpy, but he's still grumpy.

No one should be having sex they don’t want.

No one should be coerced into sex.

First post nails it.

Tell him to grow up and stop sulking…no greater turn off.

Why dont you want to have sex with your husband?

I mean, if you don't want to then that is your choice but why does he get grumpy if you say no?

Time to don the dressing gown of doom girl xx

Ask him: Do you really want me to have sex with you because I feel pressured?

You shouldn't feel coerced into this. Ever.

There is just so much wrong with this post. A total lack of thought, empathy, common sense. You do see a lot of really stupid posts on mumsnet and comments which totally miss the point or just show such a lack of judgement but i’m still astounded every time I see something so stupid.

Stop having sex you don't want to have.

I had duty sex to 'keep the peace' for over a year in my last relationship and it was soul destroying. I didn't fancy him at all. It was like I was raping myself with his d*ck every week.

Better to let the marriage crumble than do that to yourself.

So you "let him" have.... grumpy sex? Bloody hell. Sounds like you don't fancy or desire him much if at all. That's sad and makes me wonder why you are with him. 😕

No, you shouldn't be having sex when you don't want to.

It doesn't sound like you are enjoying your marriage at all.

Don’t have sex you don’t want. If that results in the end of the marriage because you’re married to an abusive arsehole then good riddance.

You need to tell him ‘You are making me feel pressured. I don’t want to have sex with you tonight. I shouldn’t have to say it more than once’

You could add, if you wanted and it was true ‘I still love you, and want to be with you, but I really just don’t fancy sex this evening’

You should not have to feel pressured into sex. Marital rape is a crime. YANBU.

Oh god, this is me. The outcome and sulking of not doing it is worse 😩

Of course it should be fine to say no to sex. Anything else is coercion. If you feel like you can't say no, and/or you dread the consequences of saying no, then you are being sexually abused.

Why don't so many men get it?

Oh, by get it, I mean understand. I don't mean why don't they get sex!?

Like if they changed tack, and really made the effort to be a great partner, it MIGHT change the outcome in so many cases.

Ita a valid question as far as I am concerned.
Nobody should be having sex that they don't want to obviously, we all have the right to say no but most people would actually want to have sex with their husband/wife/partner and if not, then it's reasonable to wonder why.

Maybe the OP has a valid reason but she hasn't mentioned one.

And no, I am not lacking in empathy nor am I stupid so go and be astounded somewhere else.

But the reason is irrelevant. She doesn't want to.

No is a complete sentence. Are you the grumpy husband?

What the actual fuck?

Tell him to fuck off

Coercing someone into sex is a crime that could see him put on the sex offenders register. Remind the rapey fucker of that OP.
It shouldn't need saying, but you don't owe him sex. If you want to say no, please say no. Are you safe if you say no or is he a physical threat?

There was a similar post about a week ago, I think the poster had just had a baby as well and her husband was coercing her. What is wrong with some men?
He's not entitled to your body and he doesn't respect you if he thinks otherwise.
Of course you don't fancy a nagging sex pest.

She doesn’t need a ‘valid reason’ to not want to have sex. Sometimes people just don’t fancy it. All reasons for not wanting to have sex are ‘valid’. Nobody wants to have sex all the time and, on the occasions that they don’t, no it isn’t ’reasonable to wonder why’.

I very much disagree with your assertions that you are neither lacking in empathy nor stupid.

Tell him there is nothing more off-putting than a grumpy man. Cheer up a bit and perhaps my libido will too.

say no tonight

It's not even about the sex. Why are you still married to a man who is grumpy all the time. I wouldn't want to have sex with him - I wouldn't want to spend 10 minutes having a cup of tea with him

Most people always want to have sex every single time? That just isn't true.

The reason is irrelevant, she might just not fancy it tonight which is fair enough.