To think my mum over reacted. Photo attached

[Lou989]

I was washing my hands at my mums, a bit of water went on the stainless steel bit where the pots dry. She got annoyed saying she’d spent time doing it today. It was only a bit of water. So threw. A piece of cutlery at my hands whilst they were still under the tap and said I was selfish. Haven’t done anything wrong I don’t feel

Some people do though. They feel ashamed and then get defensive so deny it. They don't want to take ownership and can be too stubborn to apologise.

I agree it's absolutely not acceptable. I just wondered if there was a reason for the behaviour and therefore something that could be done about it. It's always worth trying to understand someone else's point of view.

OP I’m so sorry, this is really bad and not normal, nobody deserves this. She sounds abusive and out of control. Do you live there? If not I think it’s time to go no-contact with her.

Of course you've done nothing wrong 💐

Has she always been volatile?

She is late 50s. Always had a bit of a temper, not physical but can shout over minor things, but she did slap me last year, again over a minor house thing that turned into a silly argument. doesn't drink much.

I can honestly say if someone threw cutlery at me.. or in my direction... in anger fpr whatever reason it would be the last they saw of me for a very long time.
It's not normal. In all my life I have never thrown anything at anyone out of anger. My husband has never thrown anything at me.
To anyone minimising it - look stvyourself and your relationships - its not usual.

It was a table knife but she threw it hard, it bounced off me

If you are prone to assaulting people when angry, I strongly suggest you get some help. This reply is even more shocking than the OP.

OP, I hope you can distance yourself from your mum. What happened to you is shocking.

She threw a knife at you? 😱 No that is not at all normal - let alone just an “overreaction”. It would only have to hit you in the wrong place (near a major vein or artery) and it could have been really serious!

A slap is bad enough but as a one off, adult to adult I guess it could happen (although if it ever happened twice I would think again, especially from my own parent). But I assumed at first you meant she’d thrown something small and blunt in your vague direction (like a spoon) and by chance it accidentally caused a wound, which would obviously be bad enough and still no where near acceptable. This is unbelievable… bet she’s praying you don’t go to the police. Who the heck throws knives in someone’s direction if they aren’t trying to hurt them?

Do you live with her? Is there anywhere you can go to have some time apart so she can reflect on what’s she’s done? (and so you can be safe ❤️).

See the escalation that's there. First a slap, then an "accidental" stab. What's next? Accidentally suffocating you? Get out and get safe

Oh my goodness. This is awful, you poor thing! Don’t underplay this. She threw a knife at you.

At minimum I'd not visit her home again. She clearly has issues around cleanliness and control so I'd use this incident as reason not to go again.

What she like in your home? I'd only want to meet her on neutral territory or on your own ground.

Do you live with her?
At the very least go to a minor injuries unit, tell them what happened. They can help you. She will always downplay it, she’s not going to say “yes I threw a knife at you”

If you don‘t live there, leave and don’t go back! This is an assault. What a horrible woman.

OP that is such a shame. It is unacceptable for anyone to behave this way. I think your mum needs to know that you will no longer tolerate this sort of treatment. It will only get harder to address as she gets older because you will then feel worried about stressing her out, falling out and you will feel guilty if you put your foot down so do it now while she is still young. Leave, fall out with her due to her violent act (make sure she knows that's why) and stick to your guns until she apologizes. You need to reset the whole tone and respectful interactions of this relationship. Would she do that to a visiting friend? Can she really not control herself?
Id be wondering if there was something else going on? Depression, stress, mental health problems? Do you think any of these apply here?

I have so many questions. You said you’re in your late 20s. Why are you living with her? Are you vulnerable? Surely you wouldn’t need to post here to double check that someone throwing cutlery at you is wrong?

Run away from that woman.

No, it's not normal and it's not OK.
You said "... at my mum's" so it sounds like you don't live with her.
I'd stay away from her house if I were you. She needs to apologise profusely and seek help. If she assaults you again call the police.

Nope. That is not alright at all.

That’s awful OP, it’s assault. You could actually go to the police with that, but presumably you don’t want to. What did she say after, was she apologetic? I’d be reducing contact with her or even stopping it.

That’s assault as is the slapping. Sorry OP.

Your mother should not be slapping you or throwing knives at you.
It sounds like she needs help with her anger issues, she could snap and do worse than she already has.
OP, explain to your mum you can't put up with her behaviour, will she accept she was out of control and seek help?

Alternatively, give her a wide berth in future, you certainly don't deserve to be treated so badly, no one does.

If she’ll throw a knife at you what else might she do?
As she seems happy to slap you as well. I think you’d be safer staying well away from her though in your shoes I’d be reporting to police for assault.

That’s not normal at all. Go no contact.

Think there could be a bigger issue here somehow. Take care.