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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my mum over reacted. Photo attached

294 replies

Lou989 · 07/02/2025 17:30

I was washing my hands at my mums, a bit of water went on the stainless steel bit where the pots dry. She got annoyed saying she’d spent time doing it today. It was only a bit of water. So threw. A piece of cutlery at my hands whilst they were still under the tap and said I was selfish. Haven’t done anything wrong I don’t feel

Sensitive content
To think my mum over reacted. Photo attached
OP posts:
Huckyfell · 07/02/2025 19:02

Sounds like a moment of anger rather than an ongoing abusive relationship, I'd let the heat cool down a bit and show her what she did
We're only hearing your side of the story but both sides in fairness. No abuse is acceptable but moments of anger we are all prone too and often regret it

Justalittlehandhold · 07/02/2025 19:04

That’s no way acceptable.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/02/2025 19:05

Huckyfell · 07/02/2025 19:02

Sounds like a moment of anger rather than an ongoing abusive relationship, I'd let the heat cool down a bit and show her what she did
We're only hearing your side of the story but both sides in fairness. No abuse is acceptable but moments of anger we are all prone too and often regret it

Attacking somebody with a weapon is open to interpretation and something we could all do?

Shrinkingrose · 07/02/2025 19:05

Huckyfell · 07/02/2025 19:02

Sounds like a moment of anger rather than an ongoing abusive relationship, I'd let the heat cool down a bit and show her what she did
We're only hearing your side of the story but both sides in fairness. No abuse is acceptable but moments of anger we are all prone too and often regret it

No, I’m sorry, she assaulted the op and she’s previously slapped her. This isn’t a moment of anger, it is abuse, there is no two sides. Not when violence enters the relationship

Shrinkingrose · 07/02/2025 19:07

Huckyfell · 07/02/2025 19:02

Sounds like a moment of anger rather than an ongoing abusive relationship, I'd let the heat cool down a bit and show her what she did
We're only hearing your side of the story but both sides in fairness. No abuse is acceptable but moments of anger we are all prone too and often regret it

In fact I’m shocked at this answer. Are you really saying you think it is acceptable to be violent in a moment of anger and you should hear both sides??

EggFriedRiceAndChips · 07/02/2025 19:13

Omg that is completely abusive. Slapping you is horrendous too. She sounds dangerous and unhinged, with a terrible temper and zero self restraint. I wouldn’t speak to her ever again personally

fetchacloth · 07/02/2025 19:15

That's awful OP - that's assault, you really shouldn't be accepting that from anyone, whoever it is.

SheridansPortSalut · 07/02/2025 19:21

Huckyfell · 07/02/2025 19:02

Sounds like a moment of anger rather than an ongoing abusive relationship, I'd let the heat cool down a bit and show her what she did
We're only hearing your side of the story but both sides in fairness. No abuse is acceptable but moments of anger we are all prone too and often regret it

No we're not!

Booboobagins · 07/02/2025 19:21

I recently turned down seeing my mum after she went berserk in the car and started punching my arm as I was driving.

I feel a little happier tbh. Amazing how staying away from toxic people is do good for us.

Obvs I feel bad cos she's 86 in a few months, but I'm not going to call her until I'm ready to deal with her.

I hope you take time to be away from your mum too.

GermanBite · 07/02/2025 19:26

Huckyfell · 07/02/2025 19:02

Sounds like a moment of anger rather than an ongoing abusive relationship, I'd let the heat cool down a bit and show her what she did
We're only hearing your side of the story but both sides in fairness. No abuse is acceptable but moments of anger we are all prone too and often regret it

We're only hearing your side of the story

What on earth? If anything, I'd say that op is underreacting to this but of course someone has to pipe up with bullshit like this.

Grammarnut · 07/02/2025 19:28

That's not normal behaviour. Have you been to A and E. Have you told anyone that your mother abuses you?

Tourmalines · 07/02/2025 19:29

Completely overreaction from a bit of water that can be wiped off . Does she have a disorder? Such a disgusting way to treat someone . I’d move out .

ArtTheClown · 07/02/2025 19:31

OP I hope you're okay and I'm so sorry you got hurt. She completely overreacted, and she has assaulted you over a complete non-event.

BMW6 · 07/02/2025 19:34

Walk away from the abusive bitch and have nothing more to do with her. 😡

DorothyStorm · 07/02/2025 19:35

If you live there, move out. If you dont, go low contact with her. I bet she is a problem beyond this

FTHC · 07/02/2025 19:38

Huckyfell · 07/02/2025 19:02

Sounds like a moment of anger rather than an ongoing abusive relationship, I'd let the heat cool down a bit and show her what she did
We're only hearing your side of the story but both sides in fairness. No abuse is acceptable but moments of anger we are all prone too and often regret it

Wow!

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/02/2025 19:38

SecondMrsTanqueray · 07/02/2025 18:05

Lovely solution. Presumably the OP is not a thug prone to brawling.

Show quote history

Quite. That remark says more about @Georgyporky's behaviour than anything else.

LBFseBrom · 07/02/2025 19:39

Lou989 · 07/02/2025 17:34

She’s trying to play it down saying she meant to throw it in the sink but that’s not true as she threw it directly at my hand and she knew my hand was there

Hopefully you don't live with your mum and were just visiting, Lou. I am so sorry she did this to you but, honestly, I think your mother needs help. Her reaction was seriously over the top.

RedSkyDelights · 07/02/2025 19:40

GermanBite · 07/02/2025 19:26

We're only hearing your side of the story

What on earth? If anything, I'd say that op is underreacting to this but of course someone has to pipe up with bullshit like this.

Show quote history

Sadly, I suspect OP is under-reacting because she's used to this sort of behaviour from her mother and thinks it is "normal".

(As may well be the case for the poster who thinks it's also normal to throw cutlery at other people if you get annoyed).

AgathaX · 07/02/2025 19:41

You need some physical distance from your abusive mother. She's assaulted you, and not for the first time.

Has she always been like this?

itsjustbiology · 07/02/2025 19:43

Omg poor thing ..so sorry OP. My word that is unforgivable and shocking behaviour. I would be done with her for that especially given the previous incident too. Stay away easier said and done but you should not be subject to abuse from anyone.

NiftyKoala · 07/02/2025 19:46

Absolutely she should not be throwing anything at you no matter how old you are!! It looks sore too. I hope you are in a situation where you can go very LC

Ivyiris · 07/02/2025 19:47

I would distance yourself. That is not okay op.

DaisyChain505 · 07/02/2025 19:53

Anyone who slapped me for good reason or not would not be in my life anymore.

PinkyFlamingo · 07/02/2025 19:54

There is obviously much more background to this, it's abuse, apart from the slap you mention has she been abusive before in your life?