Page 3 | To think my mum over reacted. Photo attached

Lou989 · 2025-02-07T17:30:18+00:00

I was washing my hands at my mums, a bit of water went on the stainless steel bit where the pots dry. She got annoyed saying she’d spent time doing it today. It was only a bit of water. So threw. A piece of cutlery at my hands whilst they were still under the tap and said I was selfish. Haven’t done anything wrong I don’t feel

Chuchoter · 07/02/2025 19:57

Is she an alcoholic?

Dementia?

It was a complete over reaction and presumably she was calm beforehand and then bizarrely lost control and attacked you by throwing the cutlery at you in temper.

This aggressive reaction especially over something irrational is a big concern, for your welfare and hers if she is unwell or an addict.

What are you going to do about it, op?

Dotto · 07/02/2025 19:57

I wouldn't be seeing her again for an extremely long time, if at all.

It doesn't matter if it was an accident - getting a telling off for splashing water in the sink is batshit.

EdithBond · 07/02/2025 20:02

Looks sore. YANBU. Violence is never OK. So whatever you’d done it wouldn’t be OK to throw cutlery at you.

But to get upset at all over water splashed on a draining board is a huge overreaction. So, she should take responsibility and profusely apologise. If she doesn’t, and has been violent before (slapping) then you need to set a clear boundary that it’s not acceptable and keep away from her as much as you can.

However, if she’s pre-menopausal, under a lot of stress or struggling with her mental health it may explain her losing her temper more easily. Though not excuse the violence. So, while protecting yourself, suggest she gets some help with controlling her anger.

oakleaffy · 07/02/2025 20:04

NameChange101xox · 07/02/2025 17:32

No that isn’t normal. Do you need the hospital? Was it a knife?

Hospital for a minor abrasion isn't needed- A bit of savlon and it should heal just fine.

But being slapped by your mother {Or anyone else} is not on.

Does she drink alcohol?

Sounds like she needs anger management.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/02/2025 20:06

EdithBond · 07/02/2025 20:02

Looks sore. YANBU. Violence is never OK. So whatever you’d done it wouldn’t be OK to throw cutlery at you.

But to get upset at all over water splashed on a draining board is a huge overreaction. So, she should take responsibility and profusely apologise. If she doesn’t, and has been violent before (slapping) then you need to set a clear boundary that it’s not acceptable and keep away from her as much as you can.

However, if she’s pre-menopausal, under a lot of stress or struggling with her mental health it may explain her losing her temper more easily. Though not excuse the violence. So, while protecting yourself, suggest she gets some help with controlling her anger.

Hormones are no excuse, anymore than 'we was playing and throwing knives and tongs at one another' was an excuse for the man who murdered a teenager and was found guilty recently.

I've seen the woman that birthed me twice in the last twelve years after a similar occurrence - and that was purely due to a sudden death.

They don't change.

EdithBond · 07/02/2025 20:10

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/02/2025 20:06

Hormones are no excuse, anymore than 'we was playing and throwing knives and tongs at one another' was an excuse for the man who murdered a teenager and was found guilty recently.

I've seen the woman that birthed me twice in the last twelve years after a similar occurrence - and that was purely due to a sudden death.

They don't change.

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I made it clear it wasn’t an excuse if you read my post. I’m sorry if you found this triggering.

Rosesanddaffs · 07/02/2025 20:11

@Lou989 I’m guessing you live with her, it sounds like she’s looking at any reason to start on you, that’s what my mum used to do and I used to be a sobbing nervous wreck.

Thankfully I moved out years ago, please don’t put up with this behaviour, make a plan to get out of there as soon as you are able to.

There is no excuse for her behaviour xx

HonoraBridge · 07/02/2025 20:14

That is deeply weird behaviour. Did your MIL actually throw it at you?

oakleaffy · 07/02/2025 20:16

EdithBond · 07/02/2025 20:10

I made it clear it wasn’t an excuse if you read my post. I’m sorry if you found this triggering.

Show quote history

I agree- I have seen women suffering with PMT and menopause symptoms completely lose their shit {Workplace} throwing stuff and screeching.
{One of these women worked in a school {!}.

People including the children trod on eggshells around her.

Alcohol can also make some people very volatile.

Borgonzola · 07/02/2025 20:17

No, this is horrible behaviour. She should be ashamed of herself. But I'm guessing she has form for not having control over her emotions?

Nationsss · 07/02/2025 20:19

That looks very sore.
Do you live with her?
If so, time to be making a move.

Put a plaster on that, it could get infected.
Your mother sounds very volatile.
Can you visit a friend tonight?
If you can, do.

Jellyslothbridge · 07/02/2025 20:20

Was she horrified you got hurt? If it was a knife even a table knife I would not be spending time alone with her again.

LillyPJ · 07/02/2025 20:24

That's awful and she shouldn't have done it. But is she ok? Is she under stress at the moment? Is she often like this?

Pinkpanther111 · 07/02/2025 20:27

Following

Cherrysoup · 07/02/2025 20:28

LillyPJ · 07/02/2025 20:24

That's awful and she shouldn't have done it. But is she ok? Is she under stress at the moment? Is she often like this?

Don’t think that’s at all relevant. I can’t imagine deliberately throwing anything (maybe a tea towel?) sharp at anyone, regardless of my mood/circumstances.

ItGhoul · 07/02/2025 20:34

LillyPJ · 07/02/2025 20:24

That's awful and she shouldn't have done it. But is she ok? Is she under stress at the moment? Is she often like this?

It doesn’t matter if she’s under stress. Throwing cutlery at someone because they got a splash of water on the drainer is not a normal or acceptable response to stress. It’s abusive and violent. The OP says her mother has also slapped her before.

Quiinkong · 07/02/2025 20:39

Lou989 · 07/02/2025 17:33

She has slapped me in the past over a minor thing, think it was last year, late 20s, not a child btw.

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Are you asian or african? I find these 2 continents act like their adult kids are still children they can speak to and lash out at as they want regardless of age. I'm 38 and my mum still acts the same sometimes (although 80% better than when i was a teen) minus the violence

Wellwellwellys · 07/02/2025 20:43

How awful. This is absolutely not okay.

Aftergloww · 07/02/2025 20:51

Where is op? Is this bait?

Flossflower · 07/02/2025 20:53

It is not OK. Is your Mum under any stress at the moment? How is she being treated generally by other people?
BTW: I absolutely hate it when people leave clean crockery/pans on the draining board. Of course it is going to get splashed when someone use the tap and if someone is washing their hands it might no be clean water.

nocoolnamesleft · 07/02/2025 20:56

That is assault. And being bothered about water splashing on a draining board is bonkers.

Dymaxion · 07/02/2025 21:14

It isn't the act itself is it or even the injury , its the lack of awareness of how bad it is and the minimising it which really hurts ? If you did this to someone by accident, you would be apologetic wouldn't you ? The fact she isn't speaks volumes.

Tubs11 · 07/02/2025 21:18

The fact she's playing it down means it was intentional. If you accidentally hurt someone you're never going to do that. I hope you can find the strength to remove yourself from her

pimplebum · 07/02/2025 21:20

Did you retaliate when she slapped you?

no she didn’t and not should she have ! Nice victim shaming !

If you let her get away with it, she'll probably carry on.
more victim shaming

(I'd have punched her lights out.)
then you are worse than her mum and should be in a cell

Scentedjasmin · 07/02/2025 21:23

My mum is the most particular person that I know. Everything in her house has to be immaculate. If i left drops of water on her draining board, she would ask me to wipe it up. She can be a bit of a battleaxe, but even she would never throw an object near me, let alone at me or call me selfish. I'm really sorry that she has reacted like that. I wouldn't yell back or react, but I would later calmly explain how upset it made you feel and how you cannot relax in her house and then take a step back. Maybe she didn't intend you physical harm or not to that extent but she reacted in anger and called you selfish, which was very much intentional and abusive over such a small act.