Want my abusive violent son out!!

[Whatayear2023]

I've had enough!!!
I have not one single person helping me!
My son is 13 almost 14.
He refused school 2 years ago. I am supposed to home school him but he won't do a thing just says no.
He's very violent towards me I don't go most weeks without a bruise
He lies about the most horrid things.
Anything I say he twists
Anything I ask him to do is met with a fook off pathetic fat pig.
He breaks Anything I have tells me it's shit anyway
Xmas day I got him stuff he opened.it and said to take it all back its all a load.of.shit despite it being things he asked for or needed
I have been to Dr's twice who made referrals and apparently each time it's call the family advice... when he was in primary a referral was done due to him attacking me.unprovoked and all these referrals are parental workshops.
I'm not being funny but when do they actually sort out the child instead of just saying oh you need parental course.
I've read.and tried so many different approaches over the years.nothing works.
He's not abused witnessed violence I don't drink use drugs and I've never brought a man home.
I want to walk out but can't ...

If it's flagged up often enough, the child will get help @wastingtimeonhere

You have done an incredible job with your son, but enough is enough. You have other children who deserve a happy mum. You have tried to keep him in school, you've tried to home school. He is physically assaulting you and without intervention this will only worsen as he grows bigger & stronger and more frustrated. You need to document every interaction between you and your son (and his siblings). After any assault you must call the police (further documentation). You must explain your despair to Social Services and that you cannot carry on like this. You are probably looking at your son being taken into a community home for troubled teens, or a specialist foster home. For you, your other children and for him you must do something before a tragedy happens.

An immature man is not a child. A 13 year old boy is a child.They don't all develop at the same rate. There is nothing unusual about it because it's a fact.

I would like to know where these specialist community homes for troubled teens exist ?
Or specialist foster care .

Yes. SS resist taking children like this into care partly because the alternative options are usually dire

Or non existent. I had a teen once who had to stay in a hospital ward for several weeks until a placement was found for them. They had no medical need to be there, but there was literally nowhere for them to go.

@Burntt I'm aghast and appalled at how you were unsupported and gaslighted. It's absolutely terrible that you had to take this to court!!!!
This country is infuriating me at the moment.

I'm sorry your going through this op. Sadly I got ripped apart on MN when i posted the same thing . Its great that you are getting very good advice and hopefully there's more understanding of child to parent violence.

My ds was a little older 16 so in some ways little easier. I did kick my ds out . Because I could not cope anymore and the effect it had on my other children he stayed with his older sister for a while.

We did have a social worker for a short while . She did piss me of because she was going on about things not realivent like our dinner routine. I was like my son is violent and you want to know our dinner pattern. I was plunt to her and her manager . And they backed of us as a family but gave DS his own social worker. Which was needed .

We had a referral to CAMHS but they did reject. Sadly it was only when DS tried to kill himself that they suddenly wanted to know. DS has done alot of work with CAMHS he was seeing them for a long time . And did alot of work with them regarding his mental heath. He's still under CAMHS but at more arms length.

I done a course that was for parents of children with emotional dysregulation. Although the problem was with my son and not with anything I had done wrong . Doing that course did make me feel heard and that I was not the only one going through it. It also explores different ways to parent. Things like picking your battles. That taking their Xbox away is not always the best thing to do if you have a violent child. There were lots of things to be honest . But it did help..

Education wise I deregistered ds . He's was also meant to be home educated. But that was impossible. But im hoping he will want to continue his education at some point.

Ds is in a much better place now . The violence has stopped he does still have mental health issues that are complex. He's in supported accommodation but still spends alot of time at home . And ges much more pleasant now . But hard work also . Hes soon to be going into semi independent living for people with mental heath difficulties .

So things can get better . Not sure if it was helpful to share my story . But please except any help offered . Even if it is a parenting course do it anyway my its something for you . For you to feel heard and you can explore things m I hope things get better for you soon 💐

Hi, I am in a similar position. My son is almost 16. He is aggressive towards me. Breaks things round the home. I’m not allowed in his room, but I know he vapes in there, despite me asking him not to vape in my home. We are under local medical services for him having asd and adhd as well as mental health problems, but he now refuses to go
to all appointments and has stopped taking his medications.
I’m scared in my own home.
I have called the police on him twice and we have had many welfare checks because of his mental health. Despite police checks and social services being aware. I have had no support. I have done the parenting courses they recommended just to tick a bl00dy box.

I have no advice. I just wanted to share that you aren’t alone.