Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secondary pupil not allowed to wait in reception

188 replies

Gonnaenodothat · 06/02/2025 16:32

Hi everyone,
Apologies in advance for the long post.
Dd12 is in secondary school and Dh does pick up. School finishes at 3.15pm but Dh usually gets to her about 3.45pm because he picks up our other 2 dds from primary school and both schools finish at the same time. Our eldest waits in reception for him she used to wait outside but because its cold now goes inside to wait, She isn't quite sensible enough to walk home due to lots of busy roads which have had incidents involving pedestrians recently, the traffic is mayhem around the school so its not safe for her to leave the school site.
My issue is that just lately the receptionist had been making comments to our dd such as wouldn't you rather go to the library and wait and quizzing her about why dad is late what school do her sisters go to etc to the point where dd went outside in the freezing cold because she felt uncomfortable.
Today Dh collected her and was asked by the receptionist why he was late and is there anyway he can collect her on time, she knows why he's late and that it unfortunately cannot be avoided. She says the reception area can get crowded with upto 6 pupils and that why she's asking, the reception area is always empty when he arrives and if six pupils were in there it is a large space and I wouldnt really say it was crowded. None of the other receptionists have an issue so im genuinely unsure why it's a problem am I missing something are we in the wrong to ask dd to wait inside to be collected?

OP posts:
DragonFly98 · 06/02/2025 16:35

Yes she can’t clog up the reception, most secondary pupils make their own way home. Can’t she get the bus rather than waiting 30 minutes?

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 06/02/2025 16:37

Can't she go to the library and some homework while she waits for him? Seems odd to wait in reception.

Or get a bus home like others have said,

Latenightreader · 06/02/2025 16:37

If sitting in the library is an option, can't she do that?

mrsconradfisher · 06/02/2025 16:37

She needs to either walk home on her own, or get public transport. She is in High School, not primary. Imagine if the whole of Year 7/8 thought the same way and they all waited there. Teach her road sense and let her get on with it. I imagine she is also massively embarrassed at having to wait for 30 mins for Daddy to collect her. Plus school offices might be dealing with sensitive information, it’s not appropriate for her to be waiting there.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 06/02/2025 16:38

It’s because no one is officially ‘looking’ after her. The receptionist isn’t qualified,

So if something happened to her the school would have to say there was no one in ‘loco parentis’

Twinstudy · 06/02/2025 16:38

I can kind of see why they wouldn't want to encourage kids to be waiting in reception. Why wouldn't she wait in the library if that's an option,? Get a start on her homework or something?

Lilacpurplewoman · 06/02/2025 16:38

How far is the walk home? I know you said she isn’t quite sensible enough but at 12 there must be others walking home? Surely not every pupil there gets a lift or the bus

TwentyTwentyFive · 06/02/2025 16:39

If sitting in the library is an option that's much more sensible than spending 30 minutes waiting in main reception.

Although I'd be working on her going home alone independently she's 12 so it's not unreasonable to expect her to get home by herself.

Tiswa · 06/02/2025 16:40

of course she can’t wait in reception she is 12

she either waits in the library studying
does an after school club

or you get her used to roads - she is 12 you need to get her safe to leave or trust her

Thingsthatgo · 06/02/2025 16:41

Reception isn't a place for students to wait, whether it's empty or not.
The school are not really obliged to offer anywhere for her to wait, but it sounds like the library is an option.

littleluncheon · 06/02/2025 16:41

She should go to the library for half an hour. Is there a homework club or something she could go to?

PrincessAnne5Eva · 06/02/2025 16:43

Would the library even be staffed though? It sounds like the receptionist just wants to go home (and may be having to stay late unpaid if there's kids in reception). Most school receptionists finish at hometime. Your DD needs a warmer coat, gloves, and to wait outside.

blackbird77 · 06/02/2025 16:43

Why can’t she go to the library or the computer room to read quietly or do some homework? Virtually every secondary school has the library and ICT rooms open after school for this. We’re not talking about university campus here, the school library will probably be about a 90 second walk down the corridor from reception absolute max.

Dibbsy · 06/02/2025 16:45

I have a DD in Y7 and she gets picked up by us.

If we're late she has a variety of options of places to be. Library, playground, music room, cafe, common room, (appreciate not all schools have all of those) but even when I was at a state secondary in the 90s there were plenty of easy hanging out options. Especially music/library/computer room - all the schools we looked at state and independent had those options for kids before/after school.

If it's 30 minutes every day then surely shed be wise to find somewhere to sit and get some homework done? Are there not clubs she can go to?

I've never heard of a secondary school child waiting in reception other than if you're collecting them for an appointment etc during school hours.

Mademetoxic · 06/02/2025 16:46

If she isn't walking home or taking public transport by herself aged 12, will she still be waiting for her dad aged 14/15?

She needs to be more independent.

EmberAsh · 06/02/2025 16:46

Unless there is some massive drip feed there is no reason why your child can't walk either home or to a suitable meeting point to your husband. Other children will be managing it fine.

chelseahealyslips · 06/02/2025 16:48

I think maybe you need to do better to prepare her for high school life here.
I was going to suggest that she begin the walk in the direction of home and your husband can meet her/pick her up along the route somewhere. Has she any friends that she could walk some of the way with?

thesnailandthewhale · 06/02/2025 16:49

Children aren't allowed to wait in our reception either. Homework club in the library or various after-school clubs.

FoxtonFoxton · 06/02/2025 16:50

The library does make a lot more sense. She can get on with some homework or reading in a warm, safe place and just walk over when dad arrives. I would imagine the receptionist wants to discourage loads of kids hanging around in what is essentially supposed to be just an arrival and departure area for staff and parents and to receive deliveries etc.

Funkyslippers · 06/02/2025 16:50

Traffic is mayhem around most schools. But there will more than likely be safe crossings for her to use

Talipesmum · 06/02/2025 16:51

The receptionist might be wanting to do phone calls to people etc and doesn’t want a y7 listening in - of course reception isn’t a private space but to have someone sitting there every time could be annoying. She should wait in the library.

Bluevelvetsofa · 06/02/2025 16:51

Pupils at secondary school are expected to travel independently. Of course, not all do, but the receptionnrea

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 06/02/2025 16:52

Why can't she go to the library or get the bus?

Bluevelvetsofa · 06/02/2025 16:52

The reception area is not staffed as the library or an after school club would be.

OpenFox · 06/02/2025 16:53

Gonnaenodothat · 06/02/2025 16:32

Hi everyone,
Apologies in advance for the long post.
Dd12 is in secondary school and Dh does pick up. School finishes at 3.15pm but Dh usually gets to her about 3.45pm because he picks up our other 2 dds from primary school and both schools finish at the same time. Our eldest waits in reception for him she used to wait outside but because its cold now goes inside to wait, She isn't quite sensible enough to walk home due to lots of busy roads which have had incidents involving pedestrians recently, the traffic is mayhem around the school so its not safe for her to leave the school site.
My issue is that just lately the receptionist had been making comments to our dd such as wouldn't you rather go to the library and wait and quizzing her about why dad is late what school do her sisters go to etc to the point where dd went outside in the freezing cold because she felt uncomfortable.
Today Dh collected her and was asked by the receptionist why he was late and is there anyway he can collect her on time, she knows why he's late and that it unfortunately cannot be avoided. She says the reception area can get crowded with upto 6 pupils and that why she's asking, the reception area is always empty when he arrives and if six pupils were in there it is a large space and I wouldnt really say it was crowded. None of the other receptionists have an issue so im genuinely unsure why it's a problem am I missing something are we in the wrong to ask dd to wait inside to be collected?

Reception is for visitors, not for loitering pupils.

She should either:

  1. Wait in the library and do her homework (5 x 30 minutes = 2h30 mins of education time per week)
  2. Get a bus home
  3. start walking home and get your DH to pick her up from another location where she doesn't have to cross a busy road.
Swipe left for the next trending thread