Secondary pupil not allowed to wait in reception

[Gonnaenodothat]

Hi everyone,
Apologies in advance for the long post.
Dd12 is in secondary school and Dh does pick up. School finishes at 3.15pm but Dh usually gets to her about 3.45pm because he picks up our other 2 dds from primary school and both schools finish at the same time. Our eldest waits in reception for him she used to wait outside but because its cold now goes inside to wait, She isn't quite sensible enough to walk home due to lots of busy roads which have had incidents involving pedestrians recently, the traffic is mayhem around the school so its not safe for her to leave the school site.
My issue is that just lately the receptionist had been making comments to our dd such as wouldn't you rather go to the library and wait and quizzing her about why dad is late what school do her sisters go to etc to the point where dd went outside in the freezing cold because she felt uncomfortable.
Today Dh collected her and was asked by the receptionist why he was late and is there anyway he can collect her on time, she knows why he's late and that it unfortunately cannot be avoided. She says the reception area can get crowded with upto 6 pupils and that why she's asking, the reception area is always empty when he arrives and if six pupils were in there it is a large space and I wouldnt really say it was crowded. None of the other receptionists have an issue so im genuinely unsure why it's a problem am I missing something are we in the wrong to ask dd to wait inside to be collected?

Wtf?? Of course it is!!! Stupid comment

It's a problem because
a) unless she's in a really tiny secondary school, there could easily be 10 or more pupils waiting for lifts and that would crowd out reception.
b) after school time, school is not geared to be responsible for her. As much as you can say she is old enough to wait by herself, practically if she did take ill or something on the school site, school would be responsible for her.

She either needs to go to an area which is still set up for children to use if there is one, or she needs to attend a club, or she needs to leave the site, at the end of school, not when it's convenient for her dad.

They offered the library she should go there and wait for text to come out
And she is old enough to learn how to walk safely on busy roads

I work in schools. A 12 year old hanging around Reception for 30 minutes after school every day is definitely unusual, so I am pleased to hear that the Receptionist is asking questions. For all she knows it could be that your DD is avoiding going home. It's important that children are given the opportunity to make disclosures.

Having established that there are no safeguarding concerns, it's entirely reasonable for the Receptionist to ask that your DD is either picked up on time or waits in the library. In some schools the Reception staff go home at the end of the school day, they shouldn't have to stay late to be unpaid babysitters. In schools where the office remains open they will be taking calls, which are often of a confidential nature and dealing with parents and external professionals such as social workers who have come in for meetings, which are also confidential and can be very sensitive.

If your DD cannot walk home safely for whatever reason then she needs to be collected from school on time, even if this means putting the other children in ASC or she needs to wait in the library. If she doesn't have her phone then that shouldn't matter as there will be a clock in the library and she can simply make her way out at the time she knows she is being collected.

If she sits there, then others will think they can too. It can't be one rule for her and different rules for the others.

They should be in the library or whatever the receptionist told her to go. That is her work area and she's responsible for it. She does not want to be responsible for a bunch of children using it as a common room. Her job is not to supervise children, she just does admin. And the school day for the kids has finished quite a while ago.

It's true that your DH should try and come sooner or you should try and do some trial runs where you walk with her, then get her used to walking the journey alone. At 12 she should be able to safely walk on the pavement and cross roads without an adult present.

Get her a cheap basic phone to receive texts

Schools are there to care for the next generation. That receptionist is being a busybody
Mind boggling…
When does this compulsory care end, in your opinion, if not at the end of the school day?

Receptionist is not free childcare.

She needs to go to the library where there will be a member of staff working until 4ish I'd imagine in a secondary school.

You can get a cheap phone and solve this problem.

my dd couldn’t handle navigating home at 12 either. She has some SN and navigation is one of her weaknesses. She got it eventually, but the number of practice sessions was insane and took years to complete.

Just get a cheap Nokia replacement phone and she can go back in the library.

This. She needs to be in the library. Tell her to go to reception at 3.45.

Totally different then. If it was a school bus, but came 20 mins late for whatever reason, then presumably there was an agreement with the school that the children for this bus would stay late on school premises.

I suggest you start getting the younger ones better at road safety. Either walk them to school or Park a good 15 minutes away from school and do the walk so they start to be more independent. It's a bit embarrassing that at 12 she can't do this. My 12 year old navigate her way across a major city, can plan routes to different places and routes and get buses, walks and uses the train. She's even got herself to other cities on the train. This didn't happen in a vacuum we did lots of steps from when she was young.

Just because Reception is empty at 3:45, it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t busy at 3:15pm. You’re saying that it’s unsafe for your child to leave the school so it suggests that your dd needs to be supervised and if Reception is small and crowded then that may be difficult for the receptionist.

The suggestion to wait in the library is very reasonable. It’s only half an hour and it’s a good chance for dd to get some homework done. I suspect that the receptionist isn’t paid after 3:15 so your dd waiting there prevents her leaving.

Schools are there to care for the next generation

Absolutely. All school receptionists should offer to look after any children both before and after school if that's what their parents want. They should feed them, clean their teeth and help them do their homework as well.

Not.

b) after school time, school is not geared to be responsible for her. As much as you can say she is old enough to wait by herself, practically if she did take ill or something on the school site, school would be responsible for her.

if she’s old enough and mature enough to wait by herself and not need an adult….. she’s old enough and mature enough to get herself home or to the younger siblings school.

Another vote for she gets herself home. Absolute madness to be babying her like this. I'm not surprised she can't wait in reception. That's for visitors not pupils.

Perhaps you could pick her up op or pay a childminder to pick her up that way she won't be picked up late every day.

is her phone still broken? if so, why? You can buy a cheap nokia 3330 knock off for £10 that'll take a sim for calls/texts.

Schools are there to teach the next generation, not for receptionists on less than minimum wage equivalent due to being TTO/part time to facilitate a fully grown man's preferred routine by supervising his eldest child for free - and very likely at 3.45 just as likely nearer 4pm after her finish time.

If school finishes at 3.15 you are expecting them to provide half an hour of childcare, effectively. Your daughter needs to go to a club, which will be run by an adult or be somewhere like the Library, which I am also assuming is supervised by adults at that time of day. At present, there is nobody designated to safeguard her at all. The office staff are not employed to do that (and probably not covered either) and there will be all sorts of additional people entering the building like cleaners, contractors etc.

Our reception area is open and students would be able to hear staff answer telephone calls. It isn’t an appropriate place for students to wait. The receptionist is right.

I work in a school and it’s fine for students to wait in reception for their scheduled school buses that all depart by 16.15, if a pupil misses a bus and has to wait for a parent then they have to be supervised by the member of SLT on duty, it couldn’t possibly be a regular occurrence that a student is waiting unsupervised in reception regularly, staff have to get home/pick up their own children too. If her phone is broken then get it fixed so she can wait in the library? Is the library open? Staff can’t just leave her so you not being able to get to her on time isn’t their issue, you’re tagging an extra half an hour onto someone’s day which isn’t really fair

She probably wants all the kids out so she can go home!

it’s usual for kids of secondary age to either walk or get public transport. If you’re rural and your catchment school is more than 3 miles away the council have to provide a bus. Are you more than 3 miles from the school? Does she have to walk down country roads with no pavements? If it’s just town streets then I don’t know why she can’t walk. Surely other kids will be walking in the same direction and manage to get home ok? Does she have friends she can walk with?

it does seem a bit unreasonable to expect school to babysit your secondary age dd for free because you’re anxious about her doing the normal thing for kids of her age to do.

Your DD needs to go to the library or an afterschool club.

Once upon a time I taught in a private preschool and learned quickly that parents tend to be willingly oblivious to scaling issues - they refuse to think about whether what they’re asking/expecting would work if every student/family who wanted was allowed. If the answer is to that is no then it just can’t be allowed for anyone unless there are genuine, specific reasons that that student or family requires special accommodations (to be clear, your DH needing to pick up siblings and your DD breaking her phone are definitely not that). The reason reception is always empty of other students when your DH arrives is that they’ve all gone to the library or after school activities like they’re supposed to, because reception can’t have a bunch of students loitering about with no record or supervision.