Secondary pupil not allowed to wait in reception

[Gonnaenodothat]

Hi everyone,
Apologies in advance for the long post.
Dd12 is in secondary school and Dh does pick up. School finishes at 3.15pm but Dh usually gets to her about 3.45pm because he picks up our other 2 dds from primary school and both schools finish at the same time. Our eldest waits in reception for him she used to wait outside but because its cold now goes inside to wait, She isn't quite sensible enough to walk home due to lots of busy roads which have had incidents involving pedestrians recently, the traffic is mayhem around the school so its not safe for her to leave the school site.
My issue is that just lately the receptionist had been making comments to our dd such as wouldn't you rather go to the library and wait and quizzing her about why dad is late what school do her sisters go to etc to the point where dd went outside in the freezing cold because she felt uncomfortable.
Today Dh collected her and was asked by the receptionist why he was late and is there anyway he can collect her on time, she knows why he's late and that it unfortunately cannot be avoided. She says the reception area can get crowded with upto 6 pupils and that why she's asking, the reception area is always empty when he arrives and if six pupils were in there it is a large space and I wouldnt really say it was crowded. None of the other receptionists have an issue so im genuinely unsure why it's a problem am I missing something are we in the wrong to ask dd to wait inside to be collected?

The receptionist has her own work to get on with. At my last, a big inner city girls' school, the receptionists were always very busy up until 4 p.m. with the myriad of administrative tasks that is their lot. Kids hanging about with nothing to do must be distracting and annoying. Baby-sitting is not part of their job description, especially with the confidential matters of parents and carers coming in for after-school appointments with staff and SLT. As everyone else has said, the library is warm and supervised and she can get on with homework. But most 12 year olds are sufficiently savvy to find their own way home.

The receptionist lets people into school, answers phones, speaks to adult, passes messages on. They are not there to supervise children. The librarian works in the library where children are and after school are often homework clubs supervised by the librarian. Their job roles are entirely different. Would you expect the care taker to also supervise children until they can be picked up if you take your approach?

Why can the father not do the pick ups the opposite way round and put the primary child in after school club for the time?

I honestly don't see the problem in her waiting in reception, assuming that she isnt preventing the staff from leaving. Admin staff probably work til later than school finishing times anyway? It's not like shes behaving badly or being disruptive. Prob just sat quietly waiting. Op, I would just call in at the reception desk when you're there next, or your dh, and check with them if it's a problem. They'll either say yes or no. I live near a school, and judging by cars parked there atv3 o'clock, most pupils get taxied home rather than walk or bus.

There is a problem with her waiting in Reception for half an hour. That's not what it's there for, and the staff shouldn't have responsibility. This has all been said upthread several times.
She goes to do some work in the library, or she learns to get herself home.

I think people are being weird about this. We used to hang around reception a bit sometimes after school, if parents delayed for some reason (we went to the school a town over, not our local). Just reading our books or chatting. Kids are hardly supervised anyway at secondary school, reception doesn't need to be manned. Kids could be anywhere! They don't need to be in a designated spot in my experience and actually reception is one of the less disruptive places because its often cleaned last.

The reception area is not for children to wait after school. That's why there is a problem with her waiting there. If children want to stay in school they can wait in the library or (probably) go to after school clubs. They can't stay in any old random place just because they want to. OP's DD might be perfectly behaved, but the school can't start making different rules for everyone.

My DC's school states something along the lines of " Students are expected to leave school prompty after <school finishing time> unless they are working in the library, or attending an after school club. All students must leave school by <school closing time>". I'd be suprised if OP's school doesn't have a similar rule.

Times have changed.
They are not allowed to hang around unsupervised after school finishes. They have to leave the building at the end of the school day, or be accounted for at an after-school club or in the library.
We report students who are still on the premises and contact home.

Exactly. I think sometimes people think schools are the same when they were there c1988, (or whenever).

Our school wouldn't allow it either kids need to leave the site or go the library. You naturally are only thinking it is OK as it is only your child, if 10 parents think the same thing it starts to get busy and then one of two kids are there later and later. The the receptionist is trying to close up etc. She has made a gentle suggestion please listen to it.

They DO need to be in designated spots.

This is what safeguarding is all about. They can’t be left unsupervised.

The point is there is, like in my school, a library that is open at the time OP's DD needs to be indoors. Usually libraries are a fair bit bigger than reception, they don't have parents coming in who may be having an after school meeting with the head teacher (for example), the librarians won't be taking calls that could be confidential and the librarians are used to keeping an eye on students - it's part of their job every day.

Plus, as a few people have pointed out, if OP's DD is allowed to sit there because she's busted her phone then other kids will start doing the same. How do you propose stopping other kids from hanging around in reception if one is allowed to get away with it just because she and her dad can't agree a pick up time? Easiest way is for dad to say 'I'll meet you at 4pm' knowing he may get there early. Then he just waits for 10 to 15 minutes.

Our school library is open from 8.15am to 4.30pm to allow those kids who get dropped early or picked up late to have somewhere safe and warm to go. Reception have a different job to do.

Does she have additional needs? By 12 she should be able to travel to & from school independently.

I would imagine any secondary school aged child will not want to remain in school after hours unless absolutely necessary. Why would having one person waiting in reception after school prompt others to do the same? As I said, op should just check with reception. I'm sure if it was a rule then instead of the receptionist just making passive aggressive comments, the ops dd would be told categorically not to wait in reception as it isn't allowed.

Kids are hardly supervised anyway at secondary school, reception doesn't need to be manned. Kids could be anywhere!

@TotHappy that is really not the case. Do you work in a secondary school? Of course the students are supervised. In lessons, at break time, at lunchtime (teachers have a duty rota for all of the social time). They really couldn’t be "anywhere" and there would be an issue if they were (hence registers and students being chased up for being late). That's during school hours mind you.

The issue as everyone says, is twofold IMHO:

• Reception is not a suitable place to wait as an everyday, 30 minute practice – staff could be dealing with confidential issues in that time after school and if lots of people did it, it would be an issue
• More importantly , @Gonnaenodothat you really should address the issue of your DC's independence and ability to cross roads and walk somewhere on her own. By the age of 12 this should be a usual thing - walking to school, to a local shop, to the park, to a friend’s house; getting the bus into town, walking to a local social activity. Please for her sake take action to make this happen – I would start tomorrow. (This assumes as others flag, that there is no major SEN – tho tbh one of my DC has LD and they were walking to and from school by year 6 – but I guess if she has serious mobility issues or some ND that makes it unsafe for her to cross roads that’s another matter. OP didn’t say so tho tbf)

Sensitive information in a reception area, which by definition is a public waiting area? She’s not actually in the office space. I think you’re reaching a bit there.

Otherwise I agree with others, unless she’s disabled or has any condition that prevents her from making her own way home, or you don’t live a reasonable walking distance away, why can she not make her own way? Perhaps there is a good reason though, and in which case they’re being a bit ridiculous IMO.

Reception are often less confident or able to tell kids to go away - after all, when there's nobody else around who could know the names of the less well behaved students, what can they do if they're told to fuck off? Much safer to say nicely 'wouldn't you rather be in the library? where there's two members of staff and other kids

I've been cornered at 5pm crossing the site in the dark by aggrieved six foot youths because I wouldn't let one of them use the recording studio unsupervised with his 12 year old female friend and some mates from the school he was on a managed move from. I do not want to think what could have happened had one of the cleaners - the only male on site - had been locking up the premises on the other end of the site instead of walking through the unlit path from a small sidebuilding where I worked alone.

I work in a school. Reception staff make phone calls which relate to pupils, often personal, sensitive information. Don’t think they’d be too pleased about a random 12 year standing there waiting for their Dad listening to it.

So ... a potential scenario. Child impatiently waiting in reception wanders out and has a fall or a slip and a serious injury. Cleaners, after all, do their thing after school, and not always with warning signs up. Repairs are done once the kids have left. Would you sue the school or the receptionist for a lack of supervision?

I agree, but on the other hand, they shouldn’t be making calls that could be overheard by other people that aren’t concerned with that information anyway, even if it’s other members of staff walking by, or a random parent could also walk in at any moment waiting to speak to a teacher. Private phone calls and meetings should be behind closed doors if there’s major concerns about sensitive information and confidentiality.

Because it’s the not the receptionists problem that your daughter, who is in high school, can’t make her own way home.

Can't go off into a private office to make a call if

a) it's an incoming one
b) there's a 12 year needing to be supervised

is Your dd SEND? I’m not sure she needs to wait in a supervised area at 12, most kids are getting buses for an hour plus round here to various schools and sorting themselves out

A 12 year old doesn’t need to be supervised in a reception area, surely? What are they going to do? Maybe I just live on a different planet 🤣 My school used to just put a shutter down and leave the waiting area open. There was CCTV in there as well so the staff behind the shutters could see.

Not anymore, I left in 2016. Large split site school, to travel between sites you had to cross a public road and traverse a public (though rarely used) lane. So obviously kids could get out - it wasn't in any sense a secure campus. Of course, kids were supervised in lessons and there were staff on duty in halls and corridors but there was nothing to keep the kids in halls and corridors. In fact they were encouraged out ASAP after eating as there was nowhere near enough space for everyone.
So kids at break and lunch would be anywhere within 100m radius of the school. SLT would take it in turns to wander the fields a bit but they could see a few kids at a time. They'd break up any obvious fights but I wouldn't say they were supervising the kids, rather they were supervising the field for large scale trouble. If anyone wanted to leave, light a fire, have sex, torture a bird or a fellow pupil they could and no adult would notice.
After school, kids could be anywhere. They were dismissed. Some went across to a previous classroom to pick up something they'd forgotten. Some went across to the other site for a detention. Some went to a club. Some went to watch whatever sport practice was going on on the field. Some went to the library. Some hung around waiting for mates who were in clubs/detentions. Some hung around in corridors/reception waiting for a parent. No register. If they were there too long I.e. teachers starting to leave they would be asked to go too i suppose but not by 3.45! I was usually there till 6 or 7 myself and only ever saw the odd sixth former leaving or football player.

None of this seemed unusual to me because it was exactly the same when I was a pupil at school myself, also in a large semi-rural split site school. Maybe it was.