Secondary pupil not allowed to wait in reception

[Gonnaenodothat]

Hi everyone,
Apologies in advance for the long post.
Dd12 is in secondary school and Dh does pick up. School finishes at 3.15pm but Dh usually gets to her about 3.45pm because he picks up our other 2 dds from primary school and both schools finish at the same time. Our eldest waits in reception for him she used to wait outside but because its cold now goes inside to wait, She isn't quite sensible enough to walk home due to lots of busy roads which have had incidents involving pedestrians recently, the traffic is mayhem around the school so its not safe for her to leave the school site.
My issue is that just lately the receptionist had been making comments to our dd such as wouldn't you rather go to the library and wait and quizzing her about why dad is late what school do her sisters go to etc to the point where dd went outside in the freezing cold because she felt uncomfortable.
Today Dh collected her and was asked by the receptionist why he was late and is there anyway he can collect her on time, she knows why he's late and that it unfortunately cannot be avoided. She says the reception area can get crowded with upto 6 pupils and that why she's asking, the reception area is always empty when he arrives and if six pupils were in there it is a large space and I wouldnt really say it was crowded. None of the other receptionists have an issue so im genuinely unsure why it's a problem am I missing something are we in the wrong to ask dd to wait inside to be collected?

The poor receptionist is not a teacher and will have a lot to do/deal with at the end of a school day which should not involve unpaid childcare! It sounds like she has been very patient and accommodating up to now but it's time to sort your logistics out. There is no way we would let a student wait in reception for this long on a regular basis. Often there are visitors or parents coming through reception and/or conversations, phone calls and interactions that a student shouldn't be overhearing due to privacy let alone safeguarding.

If home is within walking distance I think you need to let her walk. That’s what most of the other children do. They can’t let her hang out in reception because if they allow it for one they need to allow it for others. Yes she needs to go to the library if the school are happy for her to do that,

There is a difference between "allowed" and "encouraged".

The reception area apparently fits 6 students. Unless this is an unusually small secondary school, it's therefore not somewhere that students routinely wait, and it's clear from the receptionist's comment that it's intended for waiting for a short time only.

I am absolutely baffled by these comments. When I was at high school, I always had to wait at least 20 minutes for the bus to take us home. It was a school bus too, not even public transport. Of course we were going to wait at reception, rather than out in the cold. I don’t think our library stayed open after school every day either so couldn’t go there.

wouldn't you rather go to the library and wait

If that's what the school want kids to do, then that's what she needs to do.

Why are you baffled. No one is expecting her to wait outside they just want her waiting in the same place all the other children are? How is that hard to understand?

Op hasn’t said this, just that her Dd hasn’t been spoken to by the other receptionist.
It’s abundantly clear that she’s not welcome to do this for a full 30 minutes on a daily basis.

If she needs to be picked up then she doesn’t wait in reception. It’s simple really

Check the schools after school enrichment calendar, there is usually. Club even if it's homework club she can drop in and out of freely

Why are you so baffled? The reception doesn’t want the kids there and the library is open… complete different scenario to your one clearly 🙄

@madroid School is there for pupils during school time, when the teaching staff are in loco parentis. The same applies if they go to a homework club, library or other after school activity.

School reception staff are not responsible for pupils after the end of the school day.

This!!
Schools aren't a childcare service for when it suits parents to collect their kids.

Just because its convenient for your DD and DH it doesnt make it right or acceptable.

I know at the school my children are at the reception area is extremely busy with parents just before and after school finishes.

Children waiting for late parents shouldnt be hanging around taking up space. Best and safest place would be the library.

She's been asked by an adult to wait in the library.

There is also a difference between a child waiting there for 5 minutes occasionally when a parent has been delayed and a family using it as free child care for half an hour every day!

either use what is offered - the library - or find an alternative

Reception is not a child sitting service.

Most schools reception areas will close shortly after school ends. The receptionist probably wants to close up and go home. She might not be paid to wait around at that time.

When school finishes your child needs to go home, if that's not possible you need to make alternative arrangements.

If she is allowed in the library, then she should go in there.

Although she needs to check that this option is available, for health and safety reasons she can't just go and sit in there without prior arrangement.

Expecting them to accommodate her for 30 minutes after school ends is very unreasonable.

So clearly your school reception area was designed for people waiting for school buses (I'm assuming there were more than 6 of you?)

OP's DC's school is not. In her case the library is open for children who want to stay at school beyond the normal finish time. So OP's DD should wait there as she's been asked to.

It's pretty unusual for parents to come into secondary schools to collect their children these days. I would imagine any waiting area at reception is for children with SEN who need to be handed over, or for students who have been taken ill and can't be expected to make their own way home. Not for any secondary school student that fancies it.

Ignore her. It’s not her job to tell you that your daughter can’t wait there

Walk to another public space, shop, cafe etc and wait there (or by the time she go there hopefully DH will have pitched up)

If there are no special needs then you have failed her as a parent to let her get to this point without being able to cross a road. Out of my entire school the only students that wait in reception after the first week of year 7 are those with additional needs that are collected by taxi. Is it definitely that she can’t manage this task or is it that you want to baby her?

@Bluevelvetsofa

School reception staff are not responsible for pupils after the end of the school day.

I don't think the receptionist is being asked to be responsible. The child just wants somewhere warm to wait. Surely that's not a lot to ask.... in a school!

Schools are there to care for the next generation. That receptionist is being a busybody.

Whats baffling? It's a different situation here isnt it. No one is telling her to go out in the cold. She isnt welcome in the reception area. Shes waiting for her dad not the school assigned school bus. The open library is an option here.

I know it's a bit late now but you should have been working on it for years with increasing chances for her to do things independently so that by the time she started secondary school she would be able to get herself across roads safely and to walk home. I'd say you need to let her do this asap.

They have been offered somewhere warm - the library.
Reception is not the appropriate place for students to wait, especially for this length of time and the receptionist has kindly pointed out that the library is available.
Not sure why this is such an issue.

So why can't she sit in the library like everyone else?

The school aren't saying she has to wait outside in the cold they just don't want her in the reception area it's blowing my mind that down posters think the school and the poor receptionist are in any way unreasonable.