Secondary pupil not allowed to wait in reception

[Gonnaenodothat]

Hi everyone,
Apologies in advance for the long post.
Dd12 is in secondary school and Dh does pick up. School finishes at 3.15pm but Dh usually gets to her about 3.45pm because he picks up our other 2 dds from primary school and both schools finish at the same time. Our eldest waits in reception for him she used to wait outside but because its cold now goes inside to wait, She isn't quite sensible enough to walk home due to lots of busy roads which have had incidents involving pedestrians recently, the traffic is mayhem around the school so its not safe for her to leave the school site.
My issue is that just lately the receptionist had been making comments to our dd such as wouldn't you rather go to the library and wait and quizzing her about why dad is late what school do her sisters go to etc to the point where dd went outside in the freezing cold because she felt uncomfortable.
Today Dh collected her and was asked by the receptionist why he was late and is there anyway he can collect her on time, she knows why he's late and that it unfortunately cannot be avoided. She says the reception area can get crowded with upto 6 pupils and that why she's asking, the reception area is always empty when he arrives and if six pupils were in there it is a large space and I wouldnt really say it was crowded. None of the other receptionists have an issue so im genuinely unsure why it's a problem am I missing something are we in the wrong to ask dd to wait inside to be collected?

I understand what you mean about it being difficult to make her own way home. There’s no public buses that go from our home to school (or back again). To walk would be at least 40 minutes and involve walking on an unsafe road for part of it (literally on the road) so ‘just walk’ isn’t always an option.

That said, it’s sounds like she does need to move back to the library to wait.

I find it hard to believe that a secondary school student can't manage road safety as a pedestrian.

This is a secondary school. They do not provide supervision for kids after school generally. The reception is not for kids to wait for parents. It is for parents, visitors and staff. There is usually a student entrance. If she is allowed in the library she should wait there. Your dh can text her when he is outside.

Reception isn't childcare. If she's staying in school, then school offers study or extra-curricular, so that's your options.

How do you live from the school? If within 30 mins, she'd probably find that if she walked home, she'd start chatting to others doing the route and could walk with them.

Just pick her up from the library or let her walk home.

Since there’s an option of staying in the library then surely that’s where she’s meant to stay and wait, not at the reception. I don’t know how you think her waiting in reception is reasonable.
If she has no phone then you tell her to go to the library for 30 mins and come and meet her dad at the car park. Your DH will be there earlier and will wait for her in the car. She would get to do her homework, etc as well.

If you want to pick a child up from school, be on time like everyone else. If you can’t be on time, make other arrangements, also like everyone else.

School need to know who is still on site. If she is at a point that is officially open - the library - then staff will have a register of who is in and who has left. If she is just hovering in reception then there is nobody monitoring that.

she has the option of the library so she either uses that and uses a clock to watch the time or she waits outside.

Buy her a cheap watch, tell her to start her prep in the library and go out to meet her dad at the agreed time.

Is everyone ignore the fact that at this school, children ARE allowed to wait in reception?

Get the phone situation sorted out and tell her to wait in the library where she can be warm and can maybe begin (or perhaps even finish) her homework. She can have her phone on silent and in front of her

DH can phone her when he has arrived and is waiting. That's how I worked things when having to collect my secondary school children from clubs. School did have a phones out of sight in bags rule, but didn't enforce it after school when they were trying to get everyone picked up and off the premises.

She really does need to learn to get herself more independently to and from school though. This arrangement probably won't be sustainable for very much longer although I know it can be a leap of faith. It's one of many that you will have to take over the coming years though, like when/if she learns to drive.

Well, you can't just leave them there until it's convenient for one of you to collect them!! You'll need to make other arrangements

Am I missing something? If the receptionist isn't "qualified" to watch dd why is the library a safe place to be?
She's being a jobsworth. Maybe have a word with teacher or whoever deals with pupils.

In my DD’s secondary teachers are on library duty after school

Secondary school children do not wait in Reception for 30 minutes every day. They wait in the rooms that are set aside for students to work in after school, or they hang around outside school/go to the local park to chat to their friends.

or, in your scenario they walk part way to their siblings' school to be met.
I doubt the traffic around your school is sigificantly worse than anywhere else, and the worst of it will be clear in 10 minutes, so she just needs to chat to a friend for a bit before starting to walk, if you're very worried about it being super busy. What does every other child in her circumstance (sibling in that primary school) do?

If she has SEN, which is why you are being particularly protective, then there might be a SEN room she can wait in.

Reception is not a waiting area, in fact I am surprised she has been allowed to use it and stay there without anyone raising concern sooner. In a few secondary schools I have visited the reception area is for visitors only, and students have their own entrance and 'reception' desk.
It sounds like the school have good options for parents who wish to pick their child up at a later time and you have been directed to use these. Imagine if every parent doing the same as you told their child to wait in reception!
As someone else has said, wait 25 mins in the library and then allow 5 mins to walk to the pick up area.

Even without a phone if he gets there at 15:45 she could wait in the library do homework then go to meet him at 15:45. Also a 12 year old without additional needs shouldn't be working on road safety. I and many others at my school got public buses and tubes to school at 11

Yabu. Pay for after school care if or let her walk home like most children her age. No way should she be in the reception area. Can't believe the school allowed it so far. You and your husband are a CF and the staff know that. Please sort this!

She could sit in the library and use the time to do homework. We used to have afternoon registration for half an hour after our lessons had finished. I used to do some homework better than sitting twiddling my thumbs.

This - if DD goes to the library, which is staffed by those authorised/expected to be in loco parentis of students using it, then she being safely supervised and also not in the way of visitors/users of the reception area. I would ask that she goes to the library for 25mins and then meets DH outside at 345.

I also imagine the receptionist 'quizzing' her was due to safeguarding concerns. A child waiting in reception rather than the library. Parent coming in 'late'. I imagine they logged it as a concern and may have been asked if they knew why the child is hanging around this area.

I don't understand why everyone is being so precious about waiting in a school reception area. She's a schoolchild, the school is there for its pupils and no one else is there.

It's not like she's playing loud music or disruptive. Talk about a jobsworth!

Just replace/repair her phone, surely? It’s obviously a necessity for her, if she need to stay late in school as you won’t allowed her to walk home and are unable to collect her on time. It must be embarrassing for a 12 year old to have their Dad come into school each day to collect them.

The receptionist is not being a jobsworth. You'd have a point if it was a one off and there was no other places to wait but she's essentially being expected to supervise this child for 30 minutes minimum each day after school has ended.

Despite the child being nearly a teenager and there being numerous alternative arrangements that could be made the OP and her husband are essentially expecting their child to be supervised by this women.

Is the library at school? Whats the problem with her waiting there instead?