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AIBU?

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Original poster

Possible final straw with DH

292 replies

BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 16:14

I have name changed for this because I'm so embarrassed.

My DH went out with the lads last night, i don't know what time he got in as I was already asleep. This morning my alarm went off for work and I noticed the room smelt absolutely foul. I couldn't work out where it was coming from at first and thought the dog had messed in the house. I pulled the covers back and to my absolute horror, DH had fallen asleep next to me with no pants on and the bed was filled with what I can only describe as fecal confetti. I was absolutely repulsed and really really upset that he had got himself into such a state that this could happen.
As if things couldn't get any worse, the bathroom looked like it had been pebble-dashed - up the walls, over the edge of the bath, on the towels. I'm disgusted by him.
I didnt clean it up and he was still comatose when i left for work. He has texted me around midday wishing me a good day at work as if nothing has happened.
I don't want to go home and i don't even know where to begin discussing this with him,
WIBU to stay at a friend's tonight?

OP posts:
EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 05/02/2025 21:10

Oh I really feel for you OP, I would never be able to see him in a sexual light again, he would have to make a really over the top dramatic gesture of love and romance to make it up and even THEN, just GROSS

Thirteenblackcat · 05/02/2025 21:12

this is awful, does he have form for gaslighting?

BeWorthyLemonLemur · 05/02/2025 22:14

MoonWoman69 · 05/02/2025 21:06

JHC on a fucking bike!!!
I can't believe you're even saying you're so confused?!
He's a potential granny banger for a start and I reckon if he's been looking, he's already been there, sorry OP! What was his excuse when you found that out?! Other than he was "just looking"? I'd have been gone at that point to be honest!
And then he covers you, the bed and the bathroom in his shit-nami! How the hell hasn't he trodden/dripped it all over the floors, getting to the bathroom more to the point?!
What the hell does he actually bring to the relationship that you're questioning your position?
I think you know what you need to do, get those quackers in a row and get out of there! This wouldn't even be a consideration for me, he's a cheat, a revolting pig AND he wants 80 year olds as shag pieces! 🤢

Your language regarding females is foul….and you’re judging others…

FoxtonFoxton · 05/02/2025 22:30

Well if he hasn't yet cleaned it up, hours later, and has sat/lay all day in a bed full of his own shit, or even just hung around in a shit coated, stinking house then he has issues beyond anything I could even consider dealing with. That's without even adding in the prostitute contact. He's FOUL. I'd have the permanent ick and it would just be the total end. I couldn't even imagine sleeping next to someone like that, let alone sleeping with. If I was you, I'd get an STI test as soon as possible in addition to ending things. He's obviously a massive liar as well as disgusting.

BrightYellowStar · 05/02/2025 22:34

Run! Fast!

How could you have a single ounce of respect for this filthy creep? You deserve so much better than this.

MoonWoman69 · 05/02/2025 22:36

BeWorthyLemonLemur · 05/02/2025 22:14

Your language regarding females is foul….and you’re judging others…

Edited
Show quote history

Really?! Didn't realise the word granny was foul?! And as for judging, I'm actually not, I'm seeing the situation exactly how it is! Obviously your standards are as low as the OPs! Don't know why you've singled me out, when other posters have basically said the same?! But if it makes you happy, that's great, good for you! I suggest you go have a look through active, there are a couple of comments in the threads on there, calling women bitches! Go take your faux "outrage" there! The truth is the truth, don't like it, don't read. HTH
Edited to say, I've just read your post in response to the OP. Have you actually read the full thread and updates??? Your comment is bizarre to say the least! And I can't see the "hilarity" in this post at all, it's frankly disgusting. I think you're the one out of line here!

BeWorthyLemonLemur · 05/02/2025 22:37

FoxtonFoxton · 05/02/2025 22:30

Well if he hasn't yet cleaned it up, hours later, and has sat/lay all day in a bed full of his own shit, or even just hung around in a shit coated, stinking house then he has issues beyond anything I could even consider dealing with. That's without even adding in the prostitute contact. He's FOUL. I'd have the permanent ick and it would just be the total end. I couldn't even imagine sleeping next to someone like that, let alone sleeping with. If I was you, I'd get an STI test as soon as possible in addition to ending things. He's obviously a massive liar as well as disgusting.

If it’s true…

BeWorthyLemonLemur · 05/02/2025 22:40

BeWorthyLemonLemur · 05/02/2025 22:14

Your language regarding females is foul….and you’re judging others…

Edited
Show quote history

No seriously, objectizing ageist misogyny, shit washes off….might be stuck with those character flaws…

MoonWoman69 · 05/02/2025 22:42

And even more bizarrely, you're responding to your own post?! 🙄

BeWorthyLemonLemur · 05/02/2025 22:44

MoonWoman69 · 05/02/2025 22:42

And even more bizarrely, you're responding to your own post?! 🙄

Not bizarre, just don’t know my way around here.

healthybychristmas · 05/02/2025 23:08

You are married to a complete and utter pig. Do you really intend to stay married to him?

MidnightMeltdown · 05/02/2025 23:11

FFS how old is he? 19? How could he possibly be THAT drunk?!

As others have said, sounds like drugs.

I couldn't put up with a man who intentionally farted next to me, let alone this!

TheMasterplan23 · 05/02/2025 23:16

He’s grim. The bed shitting was bad enough but 80 year old escorts too??? Rotten.

Leave him to his 80 year old girlfriend. With a bit of luck she’ll already have a commode by the bed.

arcticpandas · 06/02/2025 05:31

BeWorthyLemonLemur · 05/02/2025 22:44

Not bizarre, just don’t know my way around here.

Show quote history

OK, start with reading the OP. You're not making any sense at all. Accusing a poster for using foul language towards females and misogynie when the poster was clearly on OP's side and telling her to LTB like the majority have told her. If you're not a troll I recommend reading posts several times if you have a problem with comprehension.

thepariscrimefiles · 06/02/2025 08:39

BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 20:55

I still haven't gone home, I've checked myself into the local travelodge for the night. I asked DH if he has cleaned up but he is dodging the question and just keeps saying he had a bad curry and acting all casual like it is the most normal thing in the world.
I need some time to clear my head. The person who said about the farts - DH does do the most repulsive gut-wrenching farts and that grosses me out enough but this is now next level and it;s bringing all of that up.
I still don't think I have dealt with the stuff about the elderly sex worker either. Do you really think it may have gone further than just messaging? I'm doubting his story now.

So he is at home and, if he is dodging the question, it's obvious that he hasn't cleaned up the bedroom or the bathroom. What an utterly disgusting man he is.

thepariscrimefiles · 06/02/2025 08:49

BeWorthyLemonLemur · 05/02/2025 22:40

No seriously, objectizing ageist misogyny, shit washes off….might be stuck with those character flaws…

Show quote history

You seem to be the only voice who is finding excuses for OP's DH's behaviour. Shit may wash off, but it doesn't sound as though OP's DH has even bothered to try and clean up.

Original poster
BestMumAva · 06/02/2025 09:17

Today's update:
I'm at work now having spent the night in the hotel.
DH was texting me all night - he finally addressed the horrendous mess and I'm now even more livid. He only got his frickin mum to come round and clean it up! He's clearly told her the stomach bug story as I've had a message from her saying how out of order I am leaving her son alone while he's sick. I'm speechless! I don't get on with his mum at the best of times - in the past she has told me how lucky I am to be married to her son. Seriously????
I'm considering my options and may go and stay with my parents for a bit but that would mean having to take time off work as they're hours away. My head is still a mess.

OP posts:
constantlylactating · 06/02/2025 09:22

BestMumAva · 06/02/2025 09:17

Today's update:
I'm at work now having spent the night in the hotel.
DH was texting me all night - he finally addressed the horrendous mess and I'm now even more livid. He only got his frickin mum to come round and clean it up! He's clearly told her the stomach bug story as I've had a message from her saying how out of order I am leaving her son alone while he's sick. I'm speechless! I don't get on with his mum at the best of times - in the past she has told me how lucky I am to be married to her son. Seriously????
I'm considering my options and may go and stay with my parents for a bit but that would mean having to take time off work as they're hours away. My head is still a mess.

Oh god that sounds awful, what a little man-child. Can you hotel again tonight, work tomorrow, then both you and your child stay with your parents for a few days? It may be worth taking the time off anyway, it sounds like you have a lot to get your head around.

Have you explained his sexual predilections to his mother? That may help get her off your back for a while.

thepariscrimefiles · 06/02/2025 09:27

BestMumAva · 06/02/2025 09:17

Today's update:
I'm at work now having spent the night in the hotel.
DH was texting me all night - he finally addressed the horrendous mess and I'm now even more livid. He only got his frickin mum to come round and clean it up! He's clearly told her the stomach bug story as I've had a message from her saying how out of order I am leaving her son alone while he's sick. I'm speechless! I don't get on with his mum at the best of times - in the past she has told me how lucky I am to be married to her son. Seriously????
I'm considering my options and may go and stay with my parents for a bit but that would mean having to take time off work as they're hours away. My head is still a mess.

Reply to your MIL with the actual facts, i.e. her precious son was drunk and possibly on drugs not ill with a stomach bug and he has been searching for escorts who are older than she is.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 06/02/2025 09:32

Well, I'd be grateful that his mum did it and not him, as there is no way he would have done it properly.

I would definitely leave him after the sexting but this would just be the final nail.

MoonWoman69 · 06/02/2025 09:41

I'm so sorry OP, but you need to tell his mother exactly what happened! How dare he make out that you neglected him?! He was pissed and possibly coked up, not ill!
I'd be having none of that! She'd know asap.
And I'd still be looking at leaving him. He clearly doesn't give a shit about you at all!

Tiswa · 06/02/2025 10:07

You need to tell his mum

but also wake up to the fact he wanted you home to clean it up nothing else and he wasn’t going to remotely try to do so himself that is enough for me to know it is over

Shetlands · 06/02/2025 10:13

I suspect that if the OP told his Mum, she wouldn't believe her anyway. She's going to take her son's side and believe whatever he tells her.

GrannyWeasel · 06/02/2025 10:16

BestMumAva · 06/02/2025 09:17

Today's update:
I'm at work now having spent the night in the hotel.
DH was texting me all night - he finally addressed the horrendous mess and I'm now even more livid. He only got his frickin mum to come round and clean it up! He's clearly told her the stomach bug story as I've had a message from her saying how out of order I am leaving her son alone while he's sick. I'm speechless! I don't get on with his mum at the best of times - in the past she has told me how lucky I am to be married to her son. Seriously????
I'm considering my options and may go and stay with my parents for a bit but that would mean having to take time off work as they're hours away. My head is still a mess.

Isn't your child staying with your mum at the moment?

scoobysnaxx · 06/02/2025 10:27

Disgraceful!

Tell her the facts about her precious son OP. Do it. It's disgraceful.

"Reply to your MIL with the actual facts, i.e. her precious son was drunk and possibly on drugs not ill with a stomach bug and he has been searching for escorts who are older than she is"

@thepariscrimefiles this OP. Short and shocking but all facts.