Was I so rude???

[Mulberrypie]

I am a new mum so looking for your opinion on what happened to me the other day. I am a single mum of a 4 month old baby who doesn't sleep much. Don't get much help, which is fine and when my baby sleeps I can get some mental brake. Was waiting at the till in Home Bargins and there were 2 ladies extremely loud, laughing and jumping flirting with the cashier, who was giving them bags for free... My wee one just managed to fall asleep so I thought it will be ok to ask for them to keep it the noise down. What a backlash I have received... both ladies shouting at me that I am soooo rude, joined by the cashier. I explained that I only asked politely and there is no need to get upset but was told not to take my child onto the shop... I get that, I wouldn't if I had another option. I left and was crying all the way back home. I think due to being exhausted and also the fact that I asked 2 mature ladies hoping they would understand... Maybe I was in wrong? This really bugs me... What would u do?

It's stressful having a baby that doesn't sleep, but you can't expect people to be quiet in public because of it. If he can't nap in noisy places, you can either go somewhere quiet, like a library or a quiet coffee shop, or go home. If your baby was loudly crying in a shop and someone told you to be quiet, you'd also find that annoying.

Oh come on, stop being silly 😂.

You might be a bit too high class for Home Bargains sorry 😂

😂

I feel for you OP. At this point your whole life revolves around sleep - needing it desperately, not getting enough to function,fantasising about an uninterrupted 5 hours etc. when your baby does finally nod off, you’d do just about anything to ensure they have a good rest. I can totally understand what you did in HB. You’re desperate. But while it would nave been lovely to be given some empathy and consideration, usually there isn’t much of it around at times. The cashier certainly should not have joined in with supporting the customers but diffused the situation.

All I can suggest is that if it’s at all possible, unless going into a shop is essential, at this stage if DD does fall asleep while your out, try walk around or get to as quiet a place as possible and hope for the best. Unless you’ve been through this it’s hard to appreciate the total preoccupation with ensuring your baby sleeps. Sending support and love.

I love HB btw, but if I’d been the customer in front I’d have gone into whisper mode because I still remember the awfulness of this stage. Should I have to be quiet in a shop - no . Would I feel for OP and pipe down - absolutely

Thank you for pointing that out- I did actually correct it when I realised it had auto spelled it.

I know you're desperate to virtue signal so who am I to deny you the pleasure of feeling morally superior...those of a lower socio economic status often found with tattoos and small children with earrings and dummies on clips.

Satisfied now??

I think it’s you who was trying to be superior actually, quite confused, with your “we all know”.

You sound an utter snob!

Do you think OPs sleeping child had a dummy on a clip?

OP, I sympathise with you in that it is so hard when baby is young and not sleeping! Many times I used to shush innocent family members around the house for talking too loudly or trying to make a cup of tea whilst dc was napping. (Yes, I know I was annoying!)

BUT, strangers chatting in a shop? YABU. You could have just waited elsewhere in the shop. They do have a right to be there too. They shouldn't have been rude to you but you were unreasonable.

@justalittlehandhold If you actually believed some of the shite that some posters sit and type🤣

Thy live in squillion squid houses, earn a squillion squid a year, have strapping six foot rugby playing sons and make a cooked chicken last a week. In reality they are bored as fuck and like to come in here and pretend to look down on others.

You get them popping up on threads like these, usually followed by a head tilt and tinkly laugh😁

@Clarice99

'What about shrieking men? Or is it just women who should keep the noise down in public?'

Don't be silly. I've never heard a man or any men to shriek or be shrieking! loud guffawing perhaps but not shrieking!

More on shrieking/squealing women here -

www.thecut.com/2013/12/why-adult-women-squeal-like-teen-girls-sometimes.html

What a dodgy as fuck response

Just because you haven't heard men shrieking, doesn't mean they don't.

Don't be silly.

Are ladies defined by their airs and graces, ability to STFU in shops, not answer back when asked to keep the noise down in a shop?

Yes

‘I'm laughing at the sneery posts about the Home Bargain's demographic. Just before Christmas I bumped into our director ( local authority) there with his wife. They were buying stocking fillers for the grandchildren. As the wife said, 'you've got to love a bargain!'

I’d never been in Home Bargains, until a friend who was visiting from Italy sang the praises of its luggage , he got a really cheap extra suitcase there. So we went to have a look, and DH now buys their bird peanuts every fortnight.

The friend is a Marquis.

I love home bargais. I think it's a shop for everyone:)

In that situation, those 2 ladies were having a bit of fun with the male cashier. He might not have even wanted the attention but he is inclined to be polite and respond to customers within the remit of being a cashier. I doubt you felt like interracting with anyone, being a new mum is exhausting - your focus is your baby, yourself and buying what you need without any disturbance or distress. Meantime, the world keeps turning and other people just carry on with their day to day lives seemingly without a care in the world.

I hate unwanted noise of any kind - it is everywhere - in the supermarket people are constantly chatting on their phones, people shouting outdoors instead of just talking and we have a neighbour from hell who has to shout all her business and anyone else's every time she opens her mouth, her language is atrocious. I once asked her not to use that language in front of the children (meaning in earshot of them) - mine and hers - but the response I got was a mouthful in front of all her family who are just the same. People like that don't change but neither will we. It's like black & white, good & bad, polite & rude, sensible & stupid - it takes all sorts to make a world.

Next time in Home Bargains suss out the queues before you head to the till and aim for a queue of 'lone' shoppers with a cashier who doesn't interract but just gets the job done. Ear buds are also a godsend xx

And their children most certainly do not have dummies on clips!!

That’s a sure sign of a lower class, don’t you know!

Their bird food of all descriptions are always on our bird feeder station, I’ll let the “snobs” go pay triple the price in their garden centres!

Fools!

You did nothing wrong, some people are just horrible.

You are rude to ask others to be quiet. You are in a public place and people can be as loud as they want to. I find loud people so irritating but I wouldn’t dream of telling them to be quiet. Even if I had my sleeping baby with me.

Yes she did, it's very rude asking people to be quiet in a public place and believe me I have been there with the sleep deprived evening with one of my children waking every single hour, but I would never ever ever have dreamed of asking someone to be quiet.

They do the yummiest Alioli in their chilled cabinet and yep we buy the fat balls and bird seed for our flock of wild birds.

Those eejits probably shoot the wild birds🤣

It's unfortunate that they didn't realise how tired you are - if they'd been younger, and mums, you wouldn't have got the backlash I don't think. But they're at a different life stage and won't have put themselves in your shoes.
Try not to take it too personally. Although I would probably complain to the store about their cashier. Under no circumstances should they have joined in.
It'll get easier, honestly.