Was I so rude???

[Mulberrypie]

I am a new mum so looking for your opinion on what happened to me the other day. I am a single mum of a 4 month old baby who doesn't sleep much. Don't get much help, which is fine and when my baby sleeps I can get some mental brake. Was waiting at the till in Home Bargins and there were 2 ladies extremely loud, laughing and jumping flirting with the cashier, who was giving them bags for free... My wee one just managed to fall asleep so I thought it will be ok to ask for them to keep it the noise down. What a backlash I have received... both ladies shouting at me that I am soooo rude, joined by the cashier. I explained that I only asked politely and there is no need to get upset but was told not to take my child onto the shop... I get that, I wouldn't if I had another option. I left and was crying all the way back home. I think due to being exhausted and also the fact that I asked 2 mature ladies hoping they would understand... Maybe I was in wrong? This really bugs me... What would u do?

Well they are getting pricier these days 🤣🤣

@Getitwright would you like to clarify what you mean by:

"the demographic found in Home Bargains"

I feel for you OP, you sound exhausted but women should not be silenced.

I shop in Home Bargains but I’m very quiet 😂

What exactly did the cashier say? Not the ladies, the cashier? A lot say report to customer services but I’d only say do that if they were really rude, raised their voice at you or were being unreasonable.
YABU to ask people in a public place to keep the noise down.

How high do you need to jump for a free carrier bag? Or is it long jump? Star jump? Is there a sliding scale by size of bag? Is there a Paralympics style category for 'need a Bag For Life but got arthritis'?

So much to think about...

You can obviously afford bags!

the last time I went in there the woman in front of me in the queue was wearing a t-shirt in support of Tommy Robinson, if that helps

I used to work in Home Bargains (what demographic does that make me @Getitwright ?) and it's loud in general. Kids screaming and running around etc.

That’s a leap you have made, “lower class” not me. I never brought “class” into it. Maybe intelligence, empathy, ability to string a sentence together without thinking someone deserves to be called a c*nt or “mate” That sort of person maybe?

You were unreasonable, but it's totally understandable. The other customers and the cashier sound like they responded quite nastily.

Hopefully this will make you feel better: I was pushing my sleeping (for a change) very young baby through the park in her buggy and two young children ran up behind me, shouting and laughing. Without even thinking, I turned around and angrily shushed them. Yes, I shushed two young children for being loud... in a park. Their mother took one look at me in my sleep deprived state and immediately shushed her children too, telling them the baby was sleeping. Bless them, they then tiptoed away from me.

I'm so grateful to that mum for not having a go at me (as she would have been entitled to do).

I don't see why you shouldn't have asked them to keep it down because the baby was sleeping. I would do it acknowledging it was a favour, 'Sorry, could you keep it down a bit, I've just got her off to sleep ', rather than implying that they were in the wrong.

Sure we all make noise, but there's give and take. I don't think they were out of order to be noisy, but I think it's only polite to respect a request to help keep a baby asleep.

We all know.

Incidentally- I would go back and complain about the cashier. Can't do much about the other two sadly. Curtesy has gone down the pan.

Demographic of reasonably intelligent, organised people who do a monthly bulk buy of loo rolls, kitchen rolls, personal hygiene and cleaning stuff saving money in the process and never having to bother to go into those aisles in a supermarket shop do you mean? I have never run out of loo rolls since discovering Home Bargains during Covid! Love it.

I doubt these ladies even noticed you were tired or had a sleeping baby OP and you pissed on their chips by telling them to be quiet when they were just having a laugh and a joke with a staff member who is doing a boring, repetitive job. Not sure what you wanted them to do, apologise and creep about while whispering? Their reaction wasn’t ideal but I imagine they were a bit shocked!

No need to dwell on it, just be mindful that other people can’t be expected to be quiet for your baby in a public place.

Did baby wake up during this?

I voted that YANBU. I hate people who screech like banshees when there is no need.

Oops *courtesy

Blimey some of the comments here.
Ladies shouldn’t be raucous. It’s sadly because of HB demographics and clientele!
Such snobbery.

Shop staff shouldn’t be rude to customers as a general rule, and if this was genuinely the case then you should complain to the manager. Either that or you could leave a bad review on Google for the whole world to see. All shops check their customer reviews.

There are a few factors here.
There's every chance they did not see a sleeping baby. They probably seemed especially loud to you because you were very tired which is understandable.
Your description of them does suggest some negative judgement on your part and perhaps this came across in your tone/ face.
Overall it is a bit much to ask people to be quiet in a public space and I think you should've either moved away or just accepted it.

A hardworking, will put up with almost anything one I would say. Hopefully found something with a better working environment I hope.

Its not normal for children to run around in shops screaming surely?

You don’t really go up to people in a shop and ask them to keep the noise down🙄🙄

Yes absolutely we should all be meek little ladies when we're out and not laugh or behave in any sort of animated way, how dare they.

You are absolutely allowed to ask anyone anywhere if they would mind being a little quieter and there was no reason at all for them to be rude back.

Unfortunately some people like the sound of their own voices far too much to be able to pipe down for a few minutes.

Forget about it OP they were obviously lacking in any empathy for a new mum.

I think I need more info about exactly how you asked.

Oh op, this is going to be one of those times you'll look back on and cringe.

I did far too many PFB things when I was in the midst of it and sleep deprived, most of us probably have, and I can laugh about them now he's 24, but at the time I really couldn't understand why the world wasn't bending over backwards to accommodate my PFBs needs.

Being sleep deprived absolutely sucks so you have my sympathies, but you can't expect random people to act differently on your say so.

Next time your baby falls asleep just go somewhere and grab a coffee and go for a walk around the park or something. Home Bargains can wait.