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Original poster

Was I so rude???

243 replies

Mulberrypie · 05/02/2025 15:54

I am a new mum so looking for your opinion on what happened to me the other day. I am a single mum of a 4 month old baby who doesn't sleep much. Don't get much help, which is fine and when my baby sleeps I can get some mental brake. Was waiting at the till in Home Bargins and there were 2 ladies extremely loud, laughing and jumping flirting with the cashier, who was giving them bags for free... My wee one just managed to fall asleep so I thought it will be ok to ask for them to keep it the noise down. What a backlash I have received... both ladies shouting at me that I am soooo rude, joined by the cashier. I explained that I only asked politely and there is no need to get upset but was told not to take my child onto the shop... I get that, I wouldn't if I had another option. I left and was crying all the way back home. I think due to being exhausted and also the fact that I asked 2 mature ladies hoping they would understand... Maybe I was in wrong? This really bugs me... What would u do?

OP posts:
TunipTheVegimal24 · 05/02/2025 16:47

username299 · 05/02/2025 15:59

They were flirting and jumping for free bags?

😂 Truly we are living in a dystopian nightmare.

Tbf, I'd have done similar and worse, for a few tins of baked beans, a few days from payday last month 😂😭

Topseyt123 · 05/02/2025 16:47

You do sound like an overtired and overwhelmed new parent, as I remember being too.

I don't think you were actually rude but you really can't ask people to be quiet or try to control noise levels in such a very public place. It's doomed to failure, I'm afraid.

Your baby needs to learn to deal with normal daytime noise like this during daylight hours, especially when out and about. You'd have been better just leaving this one.

You have control in your own home, though I made no effort to keep the house unduly quiet during the day. They had to learn the difference between night and day somewhere along the line.

Their response to you did sound over the top and quite rude, which was unnecessary but I would give it no more headspace now. Just remember that you can't control people's volume in public, and that things will get easier for you and your baby in time. Baby will learn to deal with it and there's only one way that happens.

3isthemagicnumber3 · 05/02/2025 16:48

I can remember cringing and silently cursing when people were loud when one of my babies had just fell asleep, however there is no way I would ever have asked anyone to be quiet in a public place, I would consider moving away or grin and bare it. I’m not surprised they reacted in a hostile way!

ERthree · 05/02/2025 16:48

OP any decent person would have said sorry and turned the volume down so as not to wake the sleeping baby but unfortunately too many people these days are rude and obnoxious, you have just met two such god awful common examples. Please forget all about them as they really are not worth the headspace. Enjoy your baby, things will get easier.

MumblesParty · 05/02/2025 16:50

You can't really tell people to be quiet in public during the day, but I can totally understand why you did. I remember coming back from a walk and baby DS had finally gone to sleep in his buggy. A man in a sports car stopped to ask directions, then as he drove away he revved his engine and DS woke up. If I'd had a gun I'd have shot the driver!!

Greenstamp · 05/02/2025 16:51

Please try to just let it go. These things tend to stick in the brain but everyone has bad days. You could go to the same shop 50 different times and not have that happen again. Don't let it put you off getting out and about, and don't waste time second- or third- guessing what you could have said to make it go differently.

frazzledbutcalm · 05/02/2025 16:51

You were being unreasonable, you were in a public place. Babies need to learn to get used to noise. I used to purposely vacuum around mine, put the tv etc. Babies do not need complete silence, get them used to noise, so much easier.

TunipTheVegimal24 · 05/02/2025 16:52

You were being a bit unreasonable, but not rude, asking them to be quiet.

However, they were unkind, unreasonable and gross for shouting at a new mum with a baby.

I wouldn't take it to heart OP, it's a bit of a non-event in the great scheme of things x

BunnyLake · 05/02/2025 16:52

I can understand your reasoning as you must be tired yourself but I would have just sucked it up and thought about the positives, which is that it’s much better for you in the long run if your baby can sleep through noise.

frazzledbutcalm · 05/02/2025 16:53

ERthree · 05/02/2025 16:48

OP any decent person would have said sorry and turned the volume down so as not to wake the sleeping baby but unfortunately too many people these days are rude and obnoxious, you have just met two such god awful common examples. Please forget all about them as they really are not worth the headspace. Enjoy your baby, things will get easier.

Really?? You expect people out in a public place to apologise for going about their day, and then go quiet, just so a baby can sleep? IN a shop? IN a public place? 😂😵‍💫😂😵‍💫

TheWiresAreInTheAirNow · 05/02/2025 16:53

heyhopotato · 05/02/2025 16:31

the last time I went in there the woman in front of me in the queue was wearing a t-shirt in support of Tommy Robinson, if that helps

Show quote history

So one person in one store, out of over 600 stores, was wearing a Tommy Robinson shirt. This is not representative of an entire demographic is it really?

PreciousMahoney · 05/02/2025 16:53

Pmsl at the demographic in Home Bargains 🤣

God forbid what might have happened in Primark eh?

OP, you were frustrated tired and upset and didn't mean any harm but it's a shop where there's noise, yesterday my ears were assaulted by a toddler having a meltdown but I ground my teeth to stumps and finished my shopping......hmmmm I wonder in Harrods do toddlers have meltdowns, or ladies have a bit of a raucous laugh?

Op they were rude, but you weren't in a library, I would just ignore their rudeness, but I would bear in mind that other folk don't know what's going in in someone's head and possibly thought it was your issue telling them to be quiet.

I've four adult sprogs now and honestly it's not good to have silence all the time, my newborn had to put up woth the others playing and laughing and napped through it all.

It gets better honestly, don't take it to heart.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 05/02/2025 16:53

I feel for you OP, but what you did wasn't reasonable. You were in a public place and about to go back outside where there could be any amount of noise so asking people to do keep their voices down in a shop was pretty pointless . But the others were also unreasonable to shout at you which must have been scary for you and the baby.

TinklySnail · 05/02/2025 16:53

@Mulberrypie
You can of course tell people to be quiet. They of course don’t have to comply.
Stop getting hung up on whether you were rude.
You spoke up and it takes balls to confront people and you should be proud you did so.
Rudeness is subjective. So long as you know you weren’t rude then you have nothing to worry about.
Babies are hard work and I have empathy. There’s nothing more rage inducing than someone waking a sleeping newborn but it’s life and it will happen.
Don’t be ashamed for requesting but understand that sometimes the request will not go down well.

Oioisavaloy27 · 05/02/2025 16:55

The world doesn't stop because you have a baby, the sooner babies get used to noise the better

Oioisavaloy27 · 05/02/2025 16:59

ERthree · 05/02/2025 16:48

OP any decent person would have said sorry and turned the volume down so as not to wake the sleeping baby but unfortunately too many people these days are rude and obnoxious, you have just met two such god awful common examples. Please forget all about them as they really are not worth the headspace. Enjoy your baby, things will get easier.

Or maybe your just entitled!

NewHeaven · 05/02/2025 16:59

You can't tell people to be quiet but you can report the cashier for shouting at you to his manager. He should have served the customers quickly and kept the line moving so I'd complain about his behaviour.

normanprice62 · 05/02/2025 16:59

No need for the backlash. Personally if you'd have asked me I'd have just said 'oh sorry'. As long as you did ask politely I don't see the issue.

Shoxfordian · 05/02/2025 17:00

The world doesn't revolve around you

Magnastorm · 05/02/2025 17:00

I feel for you op. Those first few months are fucking hellish, and it sounds like you just ran into a bunch of inconsiderate cunts.

Don't take it to heart.

Cornflakes123 · 05/02/2025 17:01

It is rude to ask random people to be quiet in a shop. Sounds like their response to it was much ruder though..

Motnight · 05/02/2025 17:02

SpringBunnyHopHop · 05/02/2025 16:05

I really feel for you but you can’t ask people to be quiet in public.

Is there anyone you can reach out to for support?

This.

Miaowzabella · 05/02/2025 17:03

username299 · 05/02/2025 15:59

They were flirting and jumping for free bags?

I shudder to think what they would have done for a free biro.

Boomer55 · 05/02/2025 17:05

It’s a bit unreasonable to be asking strangers to kept quiet because you’ve got a baby.🤷‍♀️. No one else cares. 🙄

ERthree · 05/02/2025 17:06

frazzledbutcalm · 05/02/2025 16:53

Really?? You expect people out in a public place to apologise for going about their day, and then go quiet, just so a baby can sleep? IN a shop? IN a public place? 😂😵‍💫😂😵‍💫

Show quote history

I would expect people to have a bit of decorum but obviously that is too much to ask of some.