DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

[Homeymum2]

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

There are some shocking attitudes on this thread, but I wish I'd reported this early doors I reckon it might be a PBP - "mums" coming on posting about how inconvenient their (usually female) children are - you always get a few agreeing with them of course and that's more worrying than the possibility of OP trolling to begin with.

Take it back (not all of it) - seems to be a poster been around a few years but only now posting about the outrage of having a child "demand" stuff from her.

@LooksThroughaGlass it's the wait for gynae

I've had to fight for morphine because nothing else touches the pain. Even though I go to a&e approx once a month for pain management, it's still going to be around 2yrs 6 months from first "I think I have endometriosis" to the operation

I thought it was pretty much a scientific fact that women crave sugary/ salty foods when they're on their period. It's certainly always been the case for me - and I also seem to be way hungrier than normal.

If she has an allowance though, surely she can buy herself some chocolate. That would be my response anyway.

My appetite goes through the roof the day or two before my period and I won the genetic lottery in that sense (two to four days of light bleeding and no cramps or stomachache).

Eat on demand is my rule of thumb. I wouldn’t deny anyone access to whatever they were craving at that time of the month. It’s a biological change - nothing to do with greed and gluttony.

Nope.

Science says it’s the luteal phase ie before your period when women are hungriest. That corresponds with what I’ve always found, personally.

My daughter is 14 I buy her chocolate on her period when I get her pads to be nice, I don't pamper her though whatever that means 🤣 i would get her a hot water bottle if she asked ? but I'd buy her chocolate if she asked me anyway .. she has a go henry card though so she buys what she wants mostly x

Judging by OP's other posts and threads about her DD, I don't actually think she's doing either. What's very likely happened is the poor girl has asked, OP has said no (a quid for makeup remover?! Horror! Sharing some of her chocolate?! Never!), and her DD has pushed back. Likely tried to explain to OP that her friends get these things, maybe got stroppy as 14 year olds do...because why wouldn't she?

Can easily imagine it to have gone as this;

DD: Mum, can I have a piece of your chocolate?

OP: No, you finished yours. This is mine.

DD: But I'm on my period!

OP: So? I don't need chocolate on my period.

DD: That's not fair! I just wanted some of your chocolate. God, my friends parents pamper them and all sorts when they're on.

OP: <Immediately takes to MN in another miserly rant about her teenage DD>

I'd be hurt if DH wouldn't give me a couple of pieces of his chocolate, just because I finished mine over a month ago. Especially when I was in discomfort.

OP just comes across as tight fisted.

Maybe OP should stop being tight and show her daughter a bit of empathy.

Years ago I wrote a book on dealing with depression, interviewing people of different ages about what works for them. The teenage girl I quoted said when she's menstruating she wants to just curl up and cry. She felt an idiot about it until she told her parents. They gave her chocolate, let her weep and made her cosy. Lovely, I thought and said, that's perfect.

She is almost certainly lying- even if she isn't I wouldn't give in to it- it's a part of life, you have to roll with it, the quicker she realises that the better.

It’s all in the tone of the request I guess. Unless she’s being very rude I think you should buy her the chocolate. Periods can be really unpleasant for lots of girls and women. If she’s super rude maybe suggest she’ll get the chocolate when her manners improve?

I don’t think a 14 year old should be implying their mum is a bad parent for not buying chocolate, that’s quite a stretch.

My DD is only 5 so we have a bit of time yet, but I will absolutely be supplying chocolate and whatever else she wants (within reason!) when she's on her period. I'm 37 and I still hate periods as much as the day I started them 🤣 (I don't and will not pass this on to her though, I will be grown up about it!) Grossly unfair to me that 50% of the population have to put up with this utter crap, and the absolute pile of crap that is women's health that goes with it. If we need chocolate and face masks to get us through it, then so be it!

The whole pamper thing, really? Those Mums surely don't get pampered when on so why instill this ? Chocolate fine, just have some in, anytime really as surely it's a prerequisite for any household? Xx

Agree, it will lead to an expectation that oh I'm on my period so I can't study/go to work because I need to pamper. Oh I think it already has lol 😆 Fortunately now there is so much help with heavy painful periods, which I was finally able to get a bit later in life.

That's lovely for you both. When you are at work though what helps during the day? I was so grateful for the mirena coil, stops periods and all the nastiness, would highly recommend. Xx

Indeed. So many years of heavy and painful periods, just got on with it. The pill helps a lot and the coil. X

Just a case of muddling through, though I'm lucky to work from home and my role is very senior so very flexible. I try to organise my workload so it's not as heavy when I know I'm due. I used to hate being in the office years ago. Felt like a nauseous zombie. Always very glad to come home to a hot bath and cuddles back then.

Unfortunately the mirena did nothing for me! Tried all forms of BC and it really just seemed to have awful side effects, on top of the periods. 🤦‍♀️ So DH is snipped and I'm just scoffing chocolate, haha!

Demanding daughter or designated driver???? PLEASE STOP WITH THE CONSTANT ABBREVIATIONS................!!!!!!

I think some MNrs interpret it as mothers running their dd a bath of asses milk while dd drinks herbal tea from a golden cup and has chocolates fed to her by a eunuch from ancient Eygpt. Or it could just be a bar of Tesco’s chocolate and a how are you feeling now, pet?

To add - it definitely didn't stop me working or studying. I'm qualified to PhD and in a very good career. Having nice things and love at home never meant I didn't go to work or life stood still, though now as a senior manager I've many times told an employee to go home if I know they're struggling. Most say no and they'll muddle through, but the option is there for them when I can manage it. Periods are shit. I know a few women who've ended up in hospital when they're on, I class myself as lucky for just feeling the pains I deal with.

Has OP got form for not being a warm and fuzzy mum? (For want of a better term).

I'd just give the girl some chocolate. It just gets made a bigger deal otherwise