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AIBU?

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Original poster

Periods at school but no toilet pass

502 replies

PyjamaFiasco · 04/02/2025 12:07

Hello hive mind.

What's the policy at your/kids' secondary schools about going to the toilet in lesson?

Ours is "no toilet breaks in class without a toilet pass." A toilet pass is issued when you can provide evidence of a medical need.

My daughter is on her period this week and yesterday unfortunately leaked through her pad onto her trousers and onto the chair after she had a flooding incident. She had asked to use the toilet and was told no and didn't feel comfortable saying to a male teacher in front of the whole class "sir I'm on my period." She's feeling embarrassed that the person who went to use the chair afterwards would see it.

When you go in between lessons the toilets are rammed with students all trying to go at the same time and the 5 minutes between lessons isn't long enough to then get to the next class. Going at break or lunch is fine but when on your period you mind need to go more often/ change it more frequently.

She said she felt she had 3 options: do nothing, walk out and go to the toilet anyway and get a detention or be late to the next lesson and get a detention anyway.

OP posts:
Pootlemcsmootle · 10/02/2025 07:03

Superhansrantowindsor · 07/02/2025 06:40

I don’t know what the answer is. But please, teachers are human and often parents too. We aren’t being deliberately cruel or whatever. There is a genuine problem with safeguarding and pupils abusing the right to leave class. Someone up thread said surely we know who is being genuine. Well yes we do have a pretty good idea but you can’t let one kid go and not another. I don’t know when it became such an issue. I’ve taught for a very long time. It’s only since Covid that the toilets seem to have become a battleground.

Is there CCTV in the toilets (general area obviously not cubicles!) or regular monitoring for bad behaviour?

Whatever happens, denying pubescent girls on their period the right to use the toilet, so that they feel dehumanised and lose their dignity by flooding through their clothes with no rights to basic hygiene and bathroom care is disgusting and inhumane. It just gives girls the idea they should feel shame over their bodies and fit into systems that don't care about them. Just ridiculous. All these supposed empowerment initiatives for girls mean nothing when monthly, girls are shown, through actions of schools, that they are not worth these basic rights.

Superhansrantowindsor · 10/02/2025 17:23

Pootlemcsmootle · 10/02/2025 07:03

Is there CCTV in the toilets (general area obviously not cubicles!) or regular monitoring for bad behaviour?

Whatever happens, denying pubescent girls on their period the right to use the toilet, so that they feel dehumanised and lose their dignity by flooding through their clothes with no rights to basic hygiene and bathroom care is disgusting and inhumane. It just gives girls the idea they should feel shame over their bodies and fit into systems that don't care about them. Just ridiculous. All these supposed empowerment initiatives for girls mean nothing when monthly, girls are shown, through actions of schools, that they are not worth these basic rights.

Show quote history

Only outside in the corridor. Obviously not inside the toilets where the trouble is. I don’t ever stop a girl using the toilet and I never will but what is the solution? I had a lesson today when a quarter of the class asked to go the lesson after break. It was like a conveyor belt of students. It will be the same tomorrow and the next day. Some kids will go to the toilet for ten minutes every lesson without fail. But we can’t say they didn’t really need to go even if we are 98% certain they are just trying to miss lessons. So what are we to do? I can’t say to one kid I believe you and then say to another I don’t believe you. That is why my school has a policy of allowing toilet visits but this is in no way a perfect system. I’ve taught for a very long time. It never used to be like this.

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