Periods at school but no toilet pass

[PyjamaFiasco]

Hello hive mind.

What's the policy at your/kids' secondary schools about going to the toilet in lesson?

Ours is "no toilet breaks in class without a toilet pass." A toilet pass is issued when you can provide evidence of a medical need.

My daughter is on her period this week and yesterday unfortunately leaked through her pad onto her trousers and onto the chair after she had a flooding incident. She had asked to use the toilet and was told no and didn't feel comfortable saying to a male teacher in front of the whole class "sir I'm on my period." She's feeling embarrassed that the person who went to use the chair afterwards would see it.

When you go in between lessons the toilets are rammed with students all trying to go at the same time and the 5 minutes between lessons isn't long enough to then get to the next class. Going at break or lunch is fine but when on your period you mind need to go more often/ change it more frequently.

She said she felt she had 3 options: do nothing, walk out and go to the toilet anyway and get a detention or be late to the next lesson and get a detention anyway.

Have you tried to book a GP appointment recently?

Have you ever taken a gynea issue to the GP? Their usual response is "see how it goes and if you can't cope we will put you on The Pill"

My daughter suffered very heavy periods so we spoke with the school and they supplied a toilet pass. We did have medical proof but they didn't ask to see it as my daughter was known as a well behaved child so they were happy that she wouldn't be using it as an excuse to leave lessons. She was also granted a pass to leave school to come home without question if she needed to change, she only ever used it once after a particularly heavy first day.

Periods at any age can be difficult to contend with, but they can be particularly unpredictable during the teenage years. I had my first period and then nothing for several months, only to be sitting in a drama class when I felt the trickle. Luckily, I was allowed to leave. Teenage girls should not have to sit there worrying about leaking and leaving stains/ being embarrassed when they should be focusing on learning. My nd daughter would be absolutely beside herself, so this thread has been a useful reminder to prepare her well for this kind of thing (she's only 8). I'll be telling her to calmly and politely leave the classroom, telling the teacher to speak to me if there's a problem. But I'll also be heading it off by asking the school what the policy is in advance and arguing her case if necessary. But it really shouldn't matter if a girl is nd or nt, regardless.

I sometimes read these school threads and it is so differnet from my own schooling days and I wonder how we ever survived if all these passes and rules are so necessary.

Rubbish. I go through a tampon and pad within 2 hours on day two of my period. No medical condition.

Assuming this is to me please let me know which part of the NHS website says that one off flooding as a teenager while on your period needs a GP appointment?

My dd’s school lets them go to the toilet on asking, it gets marked on their role so they can see when they’ve been on looking and they may question if you go more than twice over two classes because the lessons are 58minutes each and there’s two classes and then a break. So ample opportunity anyway but on a whole they let you go.

Did the HoY call you back yet? What was said?

If you literally have no sympathy for girls who have heavy periods and bleed through their clothes due to being denied access to a toilet, then you are not a great person and it’s deeply concerning that you work with children.

People respect rules when they are reasonable, and the people enforcing them are not nasty little tyrants.

Interesting that schools in nearly every other advanced country, and a great many in Britain itself, exist in a “perfect world.” Too bad we can never hope for a utopia where schools somehow keep order without forcing children to soil themselves.

There are many ways to manage toilet use, provided the school/academy trust actually cares about the basic rights and wellbeing of its students more than winning a pissing match to be known as the “world’s strictest school.”

Yeah I should say I’m in Ireland..this does not happen in my dd’s school! A bit of writing on the doors is the worst it gets. There’s always teachers or slt in the hallways. I’m sure there are schools in Ireland where the behaviour above does happen though. Like I said though my dd’s school lets them go as needed. No questions asked.

No, still no phone call which is shite. Have left another message.

My daughter threatened to pee on the classroom floor, funnily enough they then let her go.

This thread is
Shocking.

Your poor girl

No wonder there are attendances issues. Schools sound worse than a prison block.

Animals In a zoo have more privacy and respect 😡

It’s absolutely Disgusting that this is still the case is schools.

I went through the same thing decades ago, and spoke up when my own DD had similar experience and tried to get the school understand. yes, we understand their difficulties but seriously, why can’t they understand a simple requirement! No, they decided to cater for so many other needs but chose not be understand and acknowledge this and just slam the door on further discussion. I’m still angry now. So many brags about we do this, that, and the other, to enable our pupils to thrive but not give a toss on this one basic need.

Sorry to hear what happened to your daughter - that is awful and absolutely mortifying when you are 12. Similar happened to my eldest when she was about 14 - but it was so bad that the whole class knew what had happened. Amazingly, even the boys were supportive of her - she came home to change and then went back to school.

Having said that, most teenaged girls will be too embarassed to say why they need to go - particularly with a male teacher. My youngest dd is Autistic and afraid to say anything to any teacher ever, so this would have been awful, but fortunately, she hasn't suffered so much with her periods (so far) as my eldest has.

Many girls of this age are not comfortable using tampons so I think it's completely unreasonable for any poster to suggest that a pad and tampon should be enough - sometimes even a pad and tampon isn't enough.

I would definitely get your daughter some period pants to be used in conjunction with pads - they will add an extra layer of protection. And definitely keep on at the school - it isn't acceptable that teenage girls are left embarrassed because they're not allowed to go to the toilet when they need to.

As a teacher, I can't just abandon my class and go to the toilet on my period. I have to be very prepared and plan carefully.
Your school's morning break finishes at 10.15, so is presumably 10-10.15? That means they must begin lessons about 8-8.30 yet don't begin their lunchbreak til 1.15? Really??

It's appalling. I wouldn't be sending my daughter to school. Withholding toilet access is absolutely abhorrent.

This. Britain is literally the only country in the world to do this. It's awful and unacceptable.

As an adult you have chosen teaching as a career. You also have more options with both San Pro and contraceptives and medical interventions.

Also I presume you know your periods ie they are not irratic.

"As an adult you have chosen teaching as a career"

You could equally say that as parents, people hav chosen to send their child to a school with a published no toilet policy in lesson ,rather than home educate them..

That doesn't change the fact the child has no option other than to attend school.

I have 90 mins max with a super plus tampax and a heavy duty towel. Also wearing period pants. When the tampon floods there’s often too much too quickly to absorb into the towel / pants and you risk it coming over the sides. You get the sensation of it, but don’t know whether it’s going to have luckily absorbed or it’s on your trousers. It’s pretty horrendous. But also, not that uncommon sadly.

Pity the secondary schools don't have a toilet attached to each classroom like the primary schools near us It would sove so many issues. Kids to go there without wandering school hoalk.no one would be smoking, vaping, bullying in the one cubcle attached to the classroom.

Certainly an idea when building new schools