Periods at school but no toilet pass

[PyjamaFiasco]

Hello hive mind.

What's the policy at your/kids' secondary schools about going to the toilet in lesson?

Ours is "no toilet breaks in class without a toilet pass." A toilet pass is issued when you can provide evidence of a medical need.

My daughter is on her period this week and yesterday unfortunately leaked through her pad onto her trousers and onto the chair after she had a flooding incident. She had asked to use the toilet and was told no and didn't feel comfortable saying to a male teacher in front of the whole class "sir I'm on my period." She's feeling embarrassed that the person who went to use the chair afterwards would see it.

When you go in between lessons the toilets are rammed with students all trying to go at the same time and the 5 minutes between lessons isn't long enough to then get to the next class. Going at break or lunch is fine but when on your period you mind need to go more often/ change it more frequently.

She said she felt she had 3 options: do nothing, walk out and go to the toilet anyway and get a detention or be late to the next lesson and get a detention anyway.

Why would it double the risk of TSS? You change it regularly the same as if you just had 1 up there.

My dds school has 6 female cubicles for 600 female students at breaks and lunches. They lock the rest.

@Anothermathstutor or deal with those who don’t abide by the rules and stop punishing menstruating girls for others’ bad behaviour? With the attitude you have I am not surprised schools are in the state they are.

On the face of it rules like this seem draconian and inhumane. But I'm a school governor and policing toilet misuse is a fucking NIGHTMARE for schools and quickly turns into a safeguarding issue if students leave the classroom and don't return.

I honestly don't know what the answer is.

Thanks all.

She's only 12 and doesn't feel comfortable with tampons yet so she's only using pads. First break is at 10:15 and lunch is 1:15 so it's the time between that. Appreciate it's not a common occurrence and usually the time in between isn't too long that it's a problem but with the one-off flooding yesterday she's just worried it'll happen again.

I've told her if she needs to go when she's on her period to just go. It's a hill I'll happily die on if the school kick up a fuss, and she'll not be attending any detentions for it. I have, however, reinforced that it doesn't give her carte blanche to go outside of her period week unless an emergency, she can go at break and lunch if it's just for a wee so she can only "break the rules" as such when it's a situation such as this.

It's so easy as adults (or as a mouthy teen like I was) to just walk out and go to the toilet when something like yesterday happens but I think we sometimes forget how shy some kids are at that age. Standing up, walking out and then walking back in with the whole class watching knowing the teacher will be annoyed takes courage.

No. This is such a naive stand point when talking about schools.

In an ideal world, of course. Others abused the system and now this is necessary.

@notwavingbutsinking the answer is not to punish menstruating girls. Find another answer.

When I was an early teen and still not used to having periods I would sometimes apply the pad/tampon incorrectly and need to go to the bathroom as I could feel the threat of a leak. Cycles are also often unpredictable at that age (or any age for some people).

Literally never seen this in any of the many schools I’ve been in. This is a basic complaint to the governors. So I’d do that… if it’s true.

Email the school, tell them that when your daughter says she needs to use the toilet she will use the toilet, and that you don't consent to any toilet related detentions.

What are they going to do, physically restrain her?

I think @Anothermathstutor is winding us up. There's no way someone can be that obtuse.

I know it's true - when I contacted the school regarding a pass for dd, I mentioned this and the school confirmed it was the case. They leave the French and English block toilets unlocked during breaks and lunches (and have staff outside them), and lock the 3 other sets of female loos (in addition to the sports hall ones which are for use during PE lessons).

I'd also be saying that their toilet policy is direct sex discrimination against the female students.

Our school has 8 separate buildings with a small toilet block in each so if it's busy your option is to wait or walk to another building and use theirs, risking being late to your next class.

Wasn't expecting so many replies so quickly, I am reading them all but not quick enough to respond individually.

Not to derail the thread but am I the only one that wouldnt be able to fit 2 super super tampons up at once 😬😬

A child in my DC's y2 class recently had an accident as they are apparently not allowed to go in class. Parents have approached the teacher and been told children can go 'in an emergency' - but many children are afraid to persist after being told no.

But girls abuse the system too by lying about their periods and knowing they won't be challenged. All the time. How does a teacher tell the difference? Do schools insist that girls provide evidence that they are actually menstruating?!

There ARE no easy solutions. That's the point.

I'd rather not try 😂

If your DD doesn't want to state why she needs the toilet maybe just write her a note that she can hand to the teacher if she needs to go? I'd have no issue with that (as a teacher myself!)

How much of your role is soent learning about / actively witnessing the toilet arrangements at the schools you visit?

How many bog standard secondaries are you using as your sample size?

And sitting down in trousers won’t help as the flood goes up the back. It’s not the fault of the girl who just needs access to the toilet close by to deal with the situation.

My DD says they lock most of the toilets at break times too, which then results in long queues.
I got her a toilet pass without too much hassle. I think there needs to be some safeguarding systems in place but I completely disagree with them stopping students using the toilets.

I've told DD to ask once and if told no then just to leave and the teacher can call me to discuss.

An alternative to shoving as many tampons as humanly possible in is to double up with a a pad and a pair of period pants. Your DD should not need to double up, she should be able to use the toilet but it might give her more reassurance as she establishes her cycles.

If the toilets are locked then the building is no longer legally compliant with building regs.