To leave DC home alone at midnight?

[djdran]

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

Massively unreasonable to delegate the responsibility of the 9 year old’s wellbeing to a 12 year old sibling, just so you can go to a party.

No way

I wouldn't have - even 40 years ago, when my children were around that age, and kids in general were given more responsibility at a younger age than these days. The 12 year old might be ok on their own, if they are sensible and could be trusted - but no way are they old enough to be responsible for a 9 year old. Siblings tend to fight too, if left to their own devices

Never in a million years.

Asking a 12 year old to shoulder such responsibility is negligent imo.

We're only weeks after the sentencing of a mum after her 4 children died in a house fire and you are asking this?

https://www.itv.com/news/london/2025-01-24/mother-sentenced-to-10-years-after-deaths-of-her-four-sons-in-housefire

I think it is disgusting that you are even asking.

They are CHILDREN
and should not be alone at midnight
Are you fucking mad!

Get a babysitter or stay home FFS

No way

I definitely would not and I'm at the 'free range' end of the parenting spectrum.

Read the thread or at least OP updates. She's already said she's going to get a sitter!

I agree with everyone else, my two similar ages and both very sensible but I wouldn't leave them, during the evening OR during the day.

https://www.itv.com/news/london/2025-01-24/mother-sentenced-to-10-years-after-deaths-of-her-four-sons-in-housefire

Nope

No, absolutely not.

Heed the advice of the fire service. Immature brains do not wake up for fire alarms, they rely on parents to wake them.

I would never ever leave anyone under the age of 16 overnight and even then only in an emergency. It's still risky.

Absolutely no

I wouldn't.

Mine two are the same ages as yours, I'll leave the 12 year old for a couple of hours in the day, she loves the independence- I wouldn't leave the 9 year old at this age at all, even though he is really sensible. I wouldn't leave either at that time of night. It's really not worth the risk - I'd re think this plan if I were you

No I wouldn't do this.Too many things could go wrong and even if they're used to being left for short periods during the daytime, at night they could feel uneasy or scared. I left my kids in bed once and went to my sister's house next door to drop something off. I came back to two of them screaming because they'd woken and I wasn't there. I was gone 10 minutes at most and teen DC was in the house ( on headphones). So I learned my lesson.

Nope

That's a hard no. What if there's fire or someone breaks in.. highly unlikely but just watch the news and you can see how bad things happen :(

Glad you are getting a sitter they are too young to be left!

Glad you aren’t going to do it. Tell Mr McCann he’s being stupid

@Montuewed
You mean this update?
Extremely wishy washy/"torn" and "usually fine" etc

Fuck no! A few hours in the day or early evening but never that late at night

The OP hasn't said where she is but it's not illegal in England, there is no legal age here

No and I wouldn't do it if they were both 12 years of age.

I wouldnt. And in situations like that I'd think, could I live with the risk or something happening if it did, even the tiniest chance of something happening, and if you couldn't, then don't. Get a babysitter?