To leave DC home alone at midnight?

[djdran]

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

There is no specific age at which a child can be left alone at home in the UK. However, it is illegal to leave a child alone if it puts them at risk. If anything accidentally happened to them you and your husband would both be held responsible. Personally I’m with you and would not be happy leaving them at night.

I have a 9 and 11(almost 12) year old. not a chance I would leave them. The older one is not old enough to have the responsibility for the younger one. You have no idea what they would do in your absence and it’s very unlikely it would be sleep. You will never forgive yourself if something happens to them. Just get a babysitter!

No, and I’m on the lax end of MN attitudes about leaving kids at home. Too young to be left that late, and not enough build up from being left for an hour or 2 in the day time, and a 12 year old shouldn’t be responsible for a 9 year old.

My 15yo would probably be ok with this but have only left her until about 11 so far. However, I wouldn’t leave her in charge of her younger siblings and expect her to manage being left later as well. She’s never been left late enough that she’s going to bed and also being the babysitter, I think that is too much for a child to be honest.

basically, big fat no, for lots of reasons!

Of course not! Jesus op.

Absolutely not. You might be 10 minutes away, but that's a long way, if there's a problem, especially if you're walking (assumed you'd be walking, as you mention alcohol). Daytime for a couple of hours is one thing, but this is longer and at night.

no way.

at 11 i was regularly left in for hours and often had my sister who was 6 years younger as well (lived in a flat across from a neighbour who was in most days & had lived there since before i was born) but i wouldn’t do it with my own.

i’m aware i’m ott but whilst i’ll leave my 14 year old during the day i wouldn’t leave her at night and i wouldn’t leave her with younger ones. Again, i was babysitting for 3 kids at 15 on my own but it’s not worth the risk. At 15 i’d consider your scenario but at 12 & 9 not a chance!

No way and I am super relaxed and have taken many batterings on MN over the years for relaxed attitude to leaving home alone.

hell no

Can you maybe just go along for an hour or two at the start then go home? I’d probably leave a 9 and 12 year old for a bit at say, 7pm, watching a movie. Then you can make your excuses and husband can stay later if he wants?

I hope this isn't serious.

Nope, I have 14, 12 and 9. I would leave the 14 year old if alone but not the others even with him present.

What do people think is going to happen?
I would leave the 12 year old if he was happy with the idea-but the 9 year old gives me pause. But I don't actually know why.

Is this a joke?

Don't do that. It's too much responsibility for your older child. I speak as someone who was often left overnight (from the age of eight), with responsibility for my younger sibling, by my neglectful, abusive parents sixty years ago.

No. Is a whole sentence.

No way

It’s a NO from me

I got left a lot whilst parents were out at the pub. When i was 11 I was left on holiday in an apartment on my own at night whilst they were in the bar (as why wouldn't they as they did it at home). I woke up to a male figure at the bottom of the bed who climbed into bed with me and who assaulted me. So there's that kind of risk.

Absolutely not. Sometimes I am surprised when people write a post, such as yours OP, and they sound so reasonable and measured and sensible and then come out with the most (to my mind) outrageous suggestion. Of course I would not leave a 12 and 9 year old alone late into the night.

Far too young, I'm a Children's Social Worker and although there is no legal age common sense should apply here and if anything happened you would be in serious trouble.

Absolutely not.

I have a 13 yo and 8yo and I wouldnt leave them together

Wild to even consider it tbh. Stop being tight and pay the few quid a babysitter costs.

Nope

It's too young to leave them while you go out to a party, your instinct is correct. Just get one of the neighbours to sit in yours, or get a babysitter.