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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DC home alone at midnight?

308 replies

djdran · 03/02/2025 17:36

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

OP posts:
Kamek · 04/02/2025 18:29

No way

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 04/02/2025 18:36

No.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 04/02/2025 19:02

No way, and I’m quite relaxed about stuff like this. I would say 15 and 12 at a minimum.
i wouldn’t hire a babysitter under 15, therefore I wouldn’t leave my own child in charge at younger than this.

Grammarnut · 04/02/2025 23:18

Briannaco · 04/02/2025 18:26

Some people think it's fine though.

I was babysitting a young baby when I was aged 12. I stayed in the house by myself.

It was fine.

At 12 girls are very responisble

Show quote history

This is a boy. Less responsible. And not a baby but a younger brother - who might not do as older brother says etc?

Rewis · 04/02/2025 23:37

I wouldn't. I would not have a problem leaving them alone for the evening but leaving them alone till 1am is pushing it. Would they be awake till 1am? Would you pop over to put them to bed or expect them to go to sleep by themselves?

Zone2NorthLondon · 05/02/2025 18:57

Grammarnut · 04/02/2025 23:18

This is a boy. Less responsible. And not a baby but a younger brother - who might not do as older brother says etc?

Show quote history

You see this is problematic. Assumption girls are responsible and appropriate to undertake childcare. It’s a frequent and recurrent stereotype we expect very young girls to step up and into care roles as children. 12 is too young for that responsibility

The parents need to make adjustments and

moderate their behaviour.Twelve year old Children aren’t there to fill gaps when parents want to socialise

Grammarnut · 05/02/2025 22:42

Zone2NorthLondon · 05/02/2025 18:57

You see this is problematic. Assumption girls are responsible and appropriate to undertake childcare. It’s a frequent and recurrent stereotype we expect very young girls to step up and into care roles as children. 12 is too young for that responsibility

The parents need to make adjustments and

moderate their behaviour.Twelve year old Children aren’t there to fill gaps when parents want to socialise

Show quote history

Actually I agree and think asking any child this age to take on responsibility for a younger brother or sister is asking too much. Parents need to sort out babysitting or not go out.
I also dislike that girls are disproportionately lumbered with looking after younger children. It's not their job.

Briannaco · 06/02/2025 07:09

Zone2NorthLondon · 05/02/2025 18:57

You see this is problematic. Assumption girls are responsible and appropriate to undertake childcare. It’s a frequent and recurrent stereotype we expect very young girls to step up and into care roles as children. 12 is too young for that responsibility

The parents need to make adjustments and

moderate their behaviour.Twelve year old Children aren’t there to fill gaps when parents want to socialise

Show quote history

I disagree. Maybe ask the 12 year olds what they want to do, instead of speaking for them?

I absolutely loved babysitting for other families when I was aged 12.

I loved the families. I loved the children and I loved earning a bit of money.

It was my favourite time of the week.

12 year olds choose to babysit. Because they want to

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