To leave DC home alone at midnight?

[djdran]

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

Nope. Too young.

I wouldn't be able to do it myself, personally. There's a 99% chance it'd be fine, but I couldn't enjoy the night for worrying. I'd say 14 is the youngest age to be left alone at night.

Absolutely not,get a babysitter

No, I wouldn't do this at 12 and 9. 12 is too young to be responsible for another child.

I wound leave them until 14 and 11 personally. My oldest kids at 14, and the difference between 13 and 14 has been amazing. At 14 I leave them in charge of their younger siblings (10 and 4) for short periods in the day/early evening, and I have left the two 14 year olds home alone until midnight, but not with responsibility for the younger ones (they came with me).

Absolutely not. They need to be mature enough to get out of the house fast in an emergency, e.g. a fire. No way would I leave my two (nine, 14) home asleep without an adult. I wouldn't leave them alone that late, i.e. bed time, til the youngest was 16, i would not even put that responsibility on to my eldest, however sensible and mature they are.

Hard no from me. Wouldn't relax at all.

Mine are 14 &12. I leave them together if we go out in the evening but would be home before midnight. I wouldn't leave the 12 year old on her own yet and definitely not in charge of a younger child.

I'm definitely in the relaxed camp of leaving kids and that would be a no from me.
My DD is 11 and in year 7 and is reliable for a couple of hours in a morning before school and a couple of hours in an evening if needed. But I wouldn't leave them at that age until that late. Get a babysitter.

Absolutely not.

No.
A 12 year old still needs a babysitter. And the 9 year old definitely does!

No way, I’d get a sitter.

Yikes

This is so selfish. I am guessing the party doesn't start at 12 midnight? Why not go earlier and then be home latest 10?

No, I wouldn't.

Were the older ones asleep by midnight? I would leave my 14yo late if he wanted, but I don't want him going to bed until I am home.

Maybe leave them til 9ish, then one of you goes home

No, ridiculous you’d even think it ok.

Way too young OP

Absolutely not. 12 is too young to be left in charge of another child. Baby sitter required.

Absolutely not. They are far too young for that. Oldest would need to be 15 before I would even consider this.

Not in a million years

No way. Mine are a similar age and I wouldn't leave them in the day let alone at night.

I don't go while they're in bed, so we have 15, 12, 9 and if we're out anywhere we're home by 10am and wouldn't go far (and don't drink so can be home in five, no waiting for taxis. I want them awake and watching a film together, aware of their surroundings, definitely not in bed.

I can't really rationalise the difference in the time of day but it just doesn't feel right and I parent by feel a lot of the time, especially with this sort of thing.

If us randomers on mumsnet had said it's fine would you have left your 12 year old responsible for a 9 year old until 1am?!?

Have the courage of your convictions and when your husband is being irresponsible/selfish stick to your guns. What other people think is irrelevant. They're your kids.

I agree with others ... but it's got me thinking about what age is okay to leave them, especially when you have two kids with an age gap.

We would sometimes like to go and see another band in another city where we wouldn't be back until 12 / 12:30 at night.

Mine are 13 and 10 and I wouldn't currently leave them alone at night / asleep. But what ages are okay? 14 and 11? 15 and 12?

I'm just thinking it feels risky leaving them alone asleep, especially when we are in another city ... but, it might be a bit embarrassing for a 14 or 15 year old to have a babysitter!