To leave DC home alone at midnight?

[djdran]

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

Mine are this age, I’ve just started leaving them together for 30 mins here and there in the day but I wouldn’t at night. I would leave the 12 year old (nearly 13) at night in this situation, if he was happy to.

I would, with a baby monitor that the neighbours are in charge of. Any sound, they go in.

I don't think this is real. I don't need to read the thread to know what everyone else would have said.
Of course you're not being OTT I would probably leave my 12 and 13 year olds for a couple of hours in the evening but not past midnight and certainly wouldn't have when one of them was 9

Do you mean they would already be asleep by the time you are leaving? What time will the party be starting? Unless it's starting really late, I think it wouldn't be appropriate to ask a 12 year old to get a 9 year old to bed.
And agree they shouldn't be alone at night.

I would leave them perhaps through the day for a few hours if they has access to phone and I was very close, however I wouldn’t leave them at night and definitely not when they are sleeping and vulnerable.

Mine are the same ages and I wouldn’t even consider doing this.

Too young. I’ve got a really responsible 14 year old and I’d never leave her at midnight with her 9 year old brother. On her own, yes. I’m also considered very chilled about these things as the 14 year old is a star with her brother, but this would be a nope for me.

It's not about how responsible they are it's the risk of something going wrong - break in, fire etc.

You could buy a camera monitor and watch/listen in if you're leaving them alone, but I'd get a baby sitter in.

No way. Not at that age

Nope sorry

Not a chance. I don’t leave my 15 year old alone that late

Shout at me if you like, but we used to do this with DC at this age if we were round the corner at friends. It depends on where you are and on the children.

To reiterate what others have said - NO! Please don't leave them home alone, they're way too young.
God forbid - if something happened (however minor) you'd never forgive yourself.

Even at age 12, i don't think i could've relaxed and gone to sleep until i knew my parents were home safe.

Also, consider the repercussions of one, or both of them telling their friends at school. You could well find Social Services on your doorstep!

I’m pretty sure legally a sibling can’t be responsible for another sibling unless they are 14 or over. So it’s a no I’m afraid.

you say your neighbours are nice , can they sit in ?

I’d only contemplate this if :

I had internal house cameras and could monitor live footage

neighbour was aware we were out

one of us was sober so could drive back safely and quickly in case of a situation

my house was 💯 secure and up to date security measures including new windows and doors less than 5 years only

wired in smoke and carbon monoxide detectors

sprinklers in fire escape no cladding in building

electrical certificates stating house up to code
both of us would need mobile on and charged

kids would have had to have had fire escape training including escaping from windows safely

burglar in training for several different senarios ( my kids know to drop and roll under bed and don’t come out no matter what they hear until police arrive or we give safe words

and only then would I consider it , maybe

It shocks and saddens me that this is even a consideration. Those poor children.

I wouldn't.

Absolutely not.

We started leaving our kids alone in the evening when DC1 was almost 13 and DC2 was 11.5. But at first it was us going to a restaurant a 5 minute walk away and being home by 10. DC were still up until we got home and we were texting them (until DC2 said Mum I’m fine stop texting me lol)

At 16 DD used to ‘hang out’ with a friend’s 12yo in the evening because his parents felt he was a bit too young to be home alone at night. They’d play board games or watch movies and then he’d go to bed at 9 without feeling nervous because DD was there. She’s also babysat for a family where the eldest was 14 but the younger ones were only 6 and 3 so it was too much responsibility for the eldest.

No way would I be going out to a party til 1am leaving 9 and 12 yr olds asleep in the house alone.

This. No way I'd leave a 9 year old supervised by a 12 year old

I would call Social Services if someone I knew was leaving a 9 year old home alone in the evening, especially after midnight.

I have children aged 8-13, they are very responsible and well behaved, and I think I’m a relaxed parent.

My thoughts with my own sensible children:

10: Ok to stay home alone for up to an hour during the daytime.

12: Ok to stay home alone for a couple of hours during the daytime.

14: Ok to be home alone for a few hours in the evening.

Your husband is bonkers. Neglectful in my opinion.

Is it really worth the possible risk to your children in order to save £40 babysitting? If you can’t afford a babysitter then don’t go out.

No . That's really lazy parenting.
One of you go or get a baby sitter

It's common sense .

100% no.Shocked you're even considering it.Would never leave my girls alone together until they are BOTH teens.
Why can't they stay with your neighbour if they have space, if they are so lovely?
If not surely you have a babysitter/relative/friend??

Too many people especially men it seems, have a 'don't worry about it til it happens attitude'
Don't buy into it OP.
Do you really think they would know what to do if there was a house fire or a burglary? (Unlikely but you never know) I'm guessing you're both drinking so what if something happened and you couldn't get home and they woke alone wondering where you were?

Put your kids before your social life.

No not at all. You never know what could happen in your absence - especially that late at night when there are all sorts roaming around. It's mad to leave them. In my area lately which used to be very nice, we have seen a big increase in robberies while families are still in the house. Imaging someone's watching your home and knows you will leave alone that evening. A drunk with friends just isn't worth it.

Nope definitely not
isn’t it illegal anyway under 14 ?