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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave DC home alone at midnight?

308 replies

djdran · 03/02/2025 17:36

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

OP posts:

Zone2NorthLondon · 03/02/2025 20:44

NO
Get a trusted babysitter or one of you goes and one stay home

Briannaco · 03/02/2025 20:47

All the people saying it's wrong now.

Yet we were all babysitters at ages 12, 13 and 14!

I was looking after kids for other people at 12 and getting paid for it.

TickingAlongNicely · 03/02/2025 20:51

Briannaco · 03/02/2025 20:47

All the people saying it's wrong now.

Yet we were all babysitters at ages 12, 13 and 14!

I was looking after kids for other people at 12 and getting paid for it.

We also were transported about 5 or more in the back of a car....

But we know better now

Briannaco · 03/02/2025 20:52

TickingAlongNicely · 03/02/2025 20:51

We also were transported about 5 or more in the back of a car....

But we know better now

Show quote history

No i was never transported 5 or more in the back of the car. My mum always made sure we wore our seatbelt.

However, everyone I knew was a babysitter at that age.

Definitely at age 13. Some at age 12. All my friends babysat for local families.

SadieSeptember · 03/02/2025 20:54

Absolutely not. Babysitter or sleepover with grandparents or friends.

SummerFeverVenice · 03/02/2025 20:55

I was babysitting at age 12 too. Looking back on it, I don’t think that was a good thing. I was parentified at an early age. Caring for younger siblings from age 6, and then going out and earning a wage babysitting other families’ children at 12.

I missed out on a childhood by having to take on the responsibility that only an older teen (16+) or adult should take on.

Schoolchoicesucks · 03/02/2025 20:56

I didn't leave mine alone at those ages. At 15 and 12 still make sure we are home before 11pm. My 12 year old may get anxious and it woildn't be fair on the 15 year old to have to deal with it. I don't think my parents left my sibling and I in the evening until the oldest was 14 or so either.

TheSidewinderSleepsTonite · 03/02/2025 20:57

No chance. For the smaller reason of a nightmare or just being scared, to the bigger reason of a fire. I wouldn't do it for my children's safety...nor could I relax in that situation.

MaryGreenhill · 03/02/2025 20:57

No l would never leave mine at that age .

RudbekiasAreSun · 03/02/2025 20:58

why on earth you would be doing this for alcohol ???? are you that low and lacking any morals

MumWifeOther · 03/02/2025 20:59

djdran · 03/02/2025 17:36

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

No I wouldn’t leave either at home asleep at night for any period of time. Can a relative come and watch a bit of tv while you’re out?

MikeRafone · 03/02/2025 21:01

im fairly liberal and thought you were going to say in the same street -but 10 minutes away and the one child being under 10 years old - id be uncomfortable with.

ive gone away on holiday and my dd aged 16 was home alone with grandparent in the same town and saw her every day, not against home alone

Starsandall · 03/02/2025 21:02

No way. 12 fine during the day if you’re not going far. I wouldn’t want my 12 year old being responsible for a 9 year old.

MikeRafone · 03/02/2025 21:03

Briannaco · 03/02/2025 20:52

No i was never transported 5 or more in the back of the car. My mum always made sure we wore our seatbelt.

However, everyone I knew was a babysitter at that age.

Definitely at age 13. Some at age 12. All my friends babysat for local families.

Show quote history

thats ok if there were seatbelts, our early cars didn't have seat belts in the back seats. 1990s there were still range rovers without seat belts in the back

OnTheBoardwalk · 03/02/2025 21:04

Nope if they had a row anything could happen and one could storm out and the neighbours would be around then

Hdjdb42 · 03/02/2025 21:06

No.

RosesAndHellebores · 03/02/2025 21:07

No. 10 minutes is too far. I was quite relaxed about that sort of thing. Sleeping DC and fire is the big worry.

Summerishere123 · 03/02/2025 21:09

Mine are that age and no bloody way would I leave them!

Puppypower90 · 03/02/2025 21:09

Babysitter
Relative sleepover at yours
They sleepover at relatives

If you're leaving them for 10 minutes to go to the corner shop I'd say it's fine but the whole evening is too much.

Missj25 · 03/02/2025 21:12

Too young .
My youngest 2 are 17 & 14 & now, yes I would leave , and only because the elder of the 2 is 17 def not 12 & 9 …
I’m sure this is kind of really what you feel yourself or you wouldn’t be asking advice ..

Parrotinthehouse · 03/02/2025 21:14

Im pretty sure my neighbours do this.

Awful

Madre123 · 03/02/2025 21:14

Is this a joke 😡

Mischance · 03/02/2025 21:15

No - just no. In the event of a fire or some accident that is a huge responsibility for a 12 year old.

Eenameenadeeka · 03/02/2025 21:15

Absolutely not. I think it's crazy that he considers it an option

ThePoshUns · 03/02/2025 21:17

No way. I consider myself to be laid back about this sort of thing but 9 is too young.

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