DH constantly making lewd graphic comments

[CucumberSandcastle]

All the bloody time! If we are chatting about something ordinary or I ask him about what he wants to do tomorrow etc he will make an extremely lewd comment about what he wants to do to me - like I cannot wait to plough your you know what or lewd comments about sexualised stuff he wants to do to me etc. Not even remotely related to anything we are talking about- basically says the most shocking/highly graphic things he can think of with a guffaw. He has a habit for saying outlandish stuff so often that coming from anyone else would be highly shocking but as he says it all the time it’s become normal if that makes sense?

Its a huge bloody turn off 👎

He says in while laughing in an almost playful way but it’s constant!

(TMI I know but he says oh I just want to destroy your an$! or I want to plough your sloppy m!nge 🤮) It’s gross I know. I try to ignore him or just say WTF to him.

He’s a “zany” off the wall type of character and his weirdness initially attracted me to him but this is just too much.

He was close to being diagnosed with bipolar disorder (he didn’t attend his follow ups) and I’ve heard about hyper sexuality and it being one of the symptoms?

Filthy Animal, his lewd comments make you feel uncomfortable, he should stop this straight away.
I have no respect for people like this, he may be depressed but this is no excuse to inflict his vile comments on you. He also needs to learn self control.

This guy is your husband , what was he like when you started dating him ???

I cannot stand twats and twattish sense of humour but that is not the case with you. You are married with a mentally ill person so what is the course of action for you. Did you know he is mentally ill when you married him ?

Bipolar would make sense, he could be in a hypomanic state, ie not quite in a manic state but just bordering, my other thought was a dementia state called Picks disease which presents with disinhibited behaviour including fatuous speech. He really needs an assessment if you can persuade him, but he may well feel he's doing nothing wrong, either way I would be making plans to leave, it's an untenable situation at present.

Those that I've met with a 'zany' sense of humour have made crude comments because...well, that's all they've got. Nothing interesting to say and no quick wit about them so they just make more and more disgusting comments to get a reaction. For all that he may have various pending diagnoses, what is would be thinking was 'here is a guy with a really shaky sense of self who is using supposed shocking comments as a substitute for a personality'.

Mine does this too. He is repulsive. He never used to do this so I don't understand why he's suddenly started. I literally grimace & recoil in disgust. It's not attractive. Middle aged....

You said he was to be assessed for bipolar disorder, but didn’t attend the appointment. This could account for his behaviour. What is going to happen regarding the assessment?

@CucumberSandcastle

"what’s normal banter between couples? What’s fun and playful and when does it go too far?"

This is not normal banter, it's way over the top and you need to tell him that you won't tolerate it anymore. Refuse to have sex with him, until he gets help and learns to treat you with more respect, and gets himself under control. If he won't get help, you need to think about leaving.

The way he’s behaving is disgusting, and if you don’t do something soon, it might be that someone else notices his behaviour round the children and reports him. Honestly? I’d pray he’s got some sort of illness making him behave this way, because otherwise he’s potentially a sociopath, getting off on the way he treats his wife and kids.

If it's come on recently, could well be a sign of dementia. Or (less likely) a stroke, or something like meningitis. Talk to your doctor about it, and get him to if you can.

OP leave. Don’t have kids.

This ^ with bells on.

I'm amazed that he hasn't been in trouble at work yet.

I honestly couldn't stay with him. But if you want to, then the doctor responsible for his medication etc needs to know about this, because further investigation may be needed.

They have kids.

Oh my fucking god, I love a bit of filth between me and my husband and am in absolutely no sense of the word a prude, but if he ever referred to my vagina as a sloppy minge I think I'd sew it shut.

You're not actually still having sex with him are you?

Life is too short. Even if bipolar or demented.

I would be leaving

If it makes you uncomfortable and he continues even though you have told him you don’t like it - it is NOT NORMAL. You shouldn’t have to put up with this. If it was me, I’d be gone.

Is he Sid James?

Joking aside, he sounds repulsive.

Yak yak yak yak yak!

I went to university with someone like this. He would say horrific things in ordinary conversations (I was so naive that I didn't quite understand back then exactly what was meant but understood it was something sexual). For example, on seeing a photo of someone's sister - I would fold her over this table and really plough her. He actually had a girlfriend at the time and I used to wonder who on earth would ever settle for someone so disgusting.

It sounds repellent.

Fred West the murderer used to say stuff like this {allegedly} in front of his children to his wife.

I'd be leaving, OP.

Yet ironically he would suffer with erectile issues and be completely incapable.

This.

I briefly dated a guy who was always making innuendo out of the most benign conversation. Like being with a 12-year-old in a 40-something body.

Bin. What on earth was the impetus to marry such a disrespectful twat.

I would be interested in the answer to this.

Has he had an accident at work and suffered a brain injury?

That's not a flippant remark BTW, I'm just trying to find an organic cause for this bizarre behaviour.

That gives me the ick. When my DH has acted similar in the past I make sure he knows this sort of behaviour does, and he got the message.