DH constantly making lewd graphic comments

[CucumberSandcastle]

All the bloody time! If we are chatting about something ordinary or I ask him about what he wants to do tomorrow etc he will make an extremely lewd comment about what he wants to do to me - like I cannot wait to plough your you know what or lewd comments about sexualised stuff he wants to do to me etc. Not even remotely related to anything we are talking about- basically says the most shocking/highly graphic things he can think of with a guffaw. He has a habit for saying outlandish stuff so often that coming from anyone else would be highly shocking but as he says it all the time it’s become normal if that makes sense?

Its a huge bloody turn off 👎

He says in while laughing in an almost playful way but it’s constant!

(TMI I know but he says oh I just want to destroy your an$! or I want to plough your sloppy m!nge 🤮) It’s gross I know. I try to ignore him or just say WTF to him.

He’s a “zany” off the wall type of character and his weirdness initially attracted me to him but this is just too much.

He was close to being diagnosed with bipolar disorder (he didn’t attend his follow ups) and I’ve heard about hyper sexuality and it being one of the symptoms?

My XP was like this. It was like dating a fourteen year old boy sometimes, but he genuinely thought he was hysterical. Fortunately he didn't do it in public but we couldn't have a conversation without him bringing boobs into it and guffawing like a teenager. Everything that could be turned into an entendre (he couldn't even manage a double entendre) he would turn it. Eventually it turned me completely off sex with him (he started making remarks during sex and my stomach would turn).

I couldn’t live with someone like that.

My vag would clamp shut like a Venus fly trap if anyone spoke to me like this. Have you told him to just fucking stop it?

If only you could see my face right now. Cringe

My fanjo would have permanently clamped shut by now

Yuck 🤢

I had a BF a bit like this (but not nearly as bad) when I was a student. I was 20 at the time and it was pretty boring back then, not a chance in hell I could put us with this now.

@CucumberSandcastle it sounds like he needs that diagnosis to be concluded.

Do you have children in the home that could overhear this? Not an example of how men should talk to women. If there are kids involved I’d quite honestly leave (I’d probably leave either way actually..)

Just no. Tell him it stops today or you are divorcing him. How on earth can you be seen in his company, Can you imagine what it will be like if someone really takes offence and involves the Police ?

Ew no!! Don't get me wrong, me and DH can say rather rude things to each other occasionally but it has to be in context. I would hate to have constant sex talk.

Actually I think this is a bit sad. It seems like he's completely unable to read the room or stop himself?

If he's great in all other ways I'd have a serious chat with him and work with him whatever it takes to make it stop.

If this is just one way amongst many others that he's an inconsiderate prick I'd leave him as there's no way I could ever let him plough my sloppy minge ever again. 🤮

If it was mania induced hyper sexuality it would not be constant.

Quite honestly, you should leave him. He’s vile.

Also.. more generally, is this not how people just get away with being absolutely crass and crossing all sorts of boundaries?… We all chalk it up to their “zany” personality. Nope. Not a reason or an excuse for disgusting behaviour!

Obviously if it is down to a disorder that needs medicating that is different (sounds like it could be in this particular case), but ewww in general we let men get away with shit like this because they’re a right old character!

Plough your sloppy minge and destroy your ass is just too much I think. Me and DH talk crudely at home - but that phrase your DH has used is way worse than most of the stuff on the inbetweeners, for example.

if you have no kids, I’d be looking at divorce.

yes I’ve got nothing against sex talk in the right context but it’s all the time and when I ask him day to day stuff or important questions about a bill that needs paying or another pressing matter. He snickers like a school boy and if I don’t play along I can’t help but feel like I’m being no fun or too serious etc even though I know I’m not.

You've told him you don't like it and he continues to do it and he's like this with others. Wow.

It sounds like mental health issues that need diagnosis and further treatment and or possibly just a desire to be shocking for attention.

I couldn't live with this myself.

We’ve got kids. Yeah I doubt myself-what’s normal banter between couples? What’s fun and playful and when does it go too far?

Please tell me he doesn't say these things in front of the kids.

He just sounds unbearable, tbh. In fact most women would do anything to avoid him.

So do you have children together?

I don’t think he’s completely “right” if that makes sense? His off the wall sense of humour and general quirkiness was initially attractive but he definitely goes too far in the things he says. He also thinks (I do too) that he might be autistic.

Well, there are two posibilities. Either he really can't control it, in which case he's going to say that to a woman at work or in a shop and then he'll be in real trouble. Or he can control it and he's choosing not to.

Ask him which it is.

You’ve got kids???

please tell me he manages to not behave like such an immature arsewipe in front of them

I’d be frightened he was going to get sacked

he needs help and you need a solicitor

it will be interesting what your friends have to say when you tell them you have broken up

This would be a total turn off for me and I would not be able to have any respect for him

For me there would be no relationship left. I couldn't hack it, even if he might be bipolar.