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AIBU?

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Original poster

Omg please help!

763 replies

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:33

Toddler is nearly 3.

Every morning when he wakes up. We get him out of his cot and he can run around upstairs or come into bed whilst his dad or I get morning drinks (milk/ tea etc.)

For the last couple of weeks he has started screaming in the morning when we go downstairs to get the drinks.

Like full on. Full wake the whole street up screaming non stop.

I honestly dont know what to do.

Obviously I have been being calm and saying whats wrong, etc. Explaining dad always comes back with the drinks. Offering other drinks that are already available in case hes thirsty (water, squash).

We have done ignoring as well. And sternly please stop screaming - because it is literally as loud as he can.

This has been a few weeks now. He’s just been getting worse. And obviously the return of his drinks is the culmination of the event and he just happily drinks his milk so I dont know whether he thinks his screaming is resulting in a positive outcome.

But we cannot have this.

What do people suggest?

I said to DP this morning maybe we need to try no milk. He can have a glass at breakfast but hes not going to die or starve of milk deprivation in the 20/30 minutes it takes everyone to get to breakfast.

Any ideas! Help please

OP posts:
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TorroFerney · 05/02/2025 12:00

WinterBones · 05/02/2025 09:50

and? who gives a fuck what the people posting about another forums threads think?

Edited
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Quite

Errors · 05/02/2025 12:41

WinterBones · 05/02/2025 09:50

and? who gives a fuck what the people posting about another forums threads think?

Edited
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Am I being thick? What do they mean by Reddit is loving it?
I don’t use Reddit, is there beef between them and us?

HeartyPearlSnail · 05/02/2025 14:32

Why aren't you taking him downstairs with you? It sounds like he's worrying about you leaving him. Also, I'm wondering why a 3 yr old is still in a cot? If he needs the loo, how does he get to the bathroom? Or is he still in nappies? I'm not judging you, just asking.

Dearnurse · 05/02/2025 15:20

A cot a three is not developmentally appropriate, even if you put the mattress on the floor for now while your waiting for a bed to come then that would be better. Can he not tell you the reason he's upset ? He's 3 he should be able to have a conversation with you ? But the solution is to bring him with you .. I live in a large multi story house and have 4 children they have been able to get around everywhere from 2 & im 5ft so have tiny children ,if there isn't a special need they should be able to navigate stairs at 3 , all seems a bit odd if I'm not getting it wrong ?

Original poster
Toddlerhelpplease123 · 05/02/2025 15:29

I’m glad uploading photos have been banned because at this stage I’m tempted to post a picture of my stairs 😂

But that would outing and apparently we are now on reddit!

Yes he’s still in night pull ups. I think that’s entirely normal no? If he needs the loo he just asks to come out the cot.

OP posts:
Pippinsdiary · 05/02/2025 15:59

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 05/02/2025 15:29

I’m glad uploading photos have been banned because at this stage I’m tempted to post a picture of my stairs 😂

But that would outing and apparently we are now on reddit!

Yes he’s still in night pull ups. I think that’s entirely normal no? If he needs the loo he just asks to come out the cot.

Yes it’s normal for a 3yo to wear pull ups for bed, it’s hormonal. My 3yo is dry overnight and in a double bed but she won’t go to the toilet herself in the night and still screams for us to take her so I’m sure a cot makes no difference 🤷🏼‍♀️

HamptonPlace · 05/02/2025 16:17

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:50

It’s not taking two of us to get drinks

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

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yes. that is quite normal. Not universal, but definitely normal.

golemmings · 05/02/2025 23:31

Didimum · 03/02/2025 22:54

You get them out the cot when they want to. It isn’t an issue. It certainly isn’t OP’s issue, so it’s completely irrelevant.

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It's hardly encouraging independence, is it?

Well done little Jonny, you're now toilet trained but if you need a wee once you've been out to bed you need to shout and wake someone up so they can release you and let you be a big boy before they put you back in your cage.

If a child is old enough to be toilet trained they are old enough to be in a bed.

Spudalot · 06/02/2025 07:02

golemmings · 05/02/2025 23:31

It's hardly encouraging independence, is it?

Well done little Jonny, you're now toilet trained but if you need a wee once you've been out to bed you need to shout and wake someone up so they can release you and let you be a big boy before they put you back in your cage.

If a child is old enough to be toilet trained they are old enough to be in a bed.

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Mine is in a bed but still doesn’t get out without shouting for me first to get him if he needs a wee or wants something!

Didimum · 06/02/2025 07:12

golemmings · 05/02/2025 23:31

It's hardly encouraging independence, is it?

Well done little Jonny, you're now toilet trained but if you need a wee once you've been out to bed you need to shout and wake someone up so they can release you and let you be a big boy before they put you back in your cage.

If a child is old enough to be toilet trained they are old enough to be in a bed.

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As I’ve said previously on this thread, research has shown it’s beneficial for children to sleep in a cot up to the age of three. So an opinion on whether it ‘encourages’ independence, is really neither here nor there – especially to the OP who isn’t struggling with cots or toilet training. You do you and there’s no need to give unsolicited advice.

pelargoniums · 06/02/2025 08:47

golemmings · 05/02/2025 23:31

It's hardly encouraging independence, is it?

Well done little Jonny, you're now toilet trained but if you need a wee once you've been out to bed you need to shout and wake someone up so they can release you and let you be a big boy before they put you back in your cage.

If a child is old enough to be toilet trained they are old enough to be in a bed.

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DD was potty trained (not night trained) at 2yr1m, no way was she going in a bed just in case she woke up and fancied a wee! And when she did go in a bed at age 3, she still yelled for us in the night for whatever she wanted, nightmares/drinks/wees/random thoughts etc, we had to train her to get out and come and find us.

Cots aren’t cages and if you’re treating them as such, you probably need to look at your own parenting first. Both my children love(d) their cots.

Snugglemonkey · 06/02/2025 13:21

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:51

He should be able to climb stairs unless they’re like the stairs inside a lighthouse.

Tbh they aren’t far off and he has 2 percentile legs bless him.

But most one year olds can do stairs. Even my short 2 year old has been doing stairs for well over a year.

Scirocco · 06/02/2025 16:47

Snugglemonkey · 06/02/2025 13:21

But most one year olds can do stairs. Even my short 2 year old has been doing stairs for well over a year.

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There's a degree to which it depends on the stairs, and on the child. If the OP's child can't yet manage these specific stairs then no amount of other people saying they should be able to is going to magically make them acquire the ability. There are some stairs I wouldn't want my DC doing without direct supervision by an adult with a hand free.

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