Omg please help!

[Toddlerhelpplease123]

Toddler is nearly 3.

Every morning when he wakes up. We get him out of his cot and he can run around upstairs or come into bed whilst his dad or I get morning drinks (milk/ tea etc.)

For the last couple of weeks he has started screaming in the morning when we go downstairs to get the drinks.

Like full on. Full wake the whole street up screaming non stop.

I honestly dont know what to do.

Obviously I have been being calm and saying whats wrong, etc. Explaining dad always comes back with the drinks. Offering other drinks that are already available in case hes thirsty (water, squash).

We have done ignoring as well. And sternly please stop screaming - because it is literally as loud as he can.

This has been a few weeks now. He’s just been getting worse. And obviously the return of his drinks is the culmination of the event and he just happily drinks his milk so I dont know whether he thinks his screaming is resulting in a positive outcome.

But we cannot have this.

What do people suggest?

I said to DP this morning maybe we need to try no milk. He can have a glass at breakfast but hes not going to die or starve of milk deprivation in the 20/30 minutes it takes everyone to get to breakfast.

Any ideas! Help please

You talk about him like he’s a 3m old.

he should be able to navigate the stairs by now. My kids grew up in a tall terrace so teaching them stairs was important

unless you live in Buckingham palace I really don’t understand why you have to stay upstairs until you’re ready either. It sounds like you have quite rigid thinking and you need a bit of flexibility with kids

It’s not taking two of us to get drinks

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

Am I missing something? Why do you have to strictly get dressed before all going downstairs?

can’t one of you just leg it down and bring his milk back before going down again to make your tea? Would surely take 30 seconds not 5 minutes?

I’m really confused why he can’t just come with you though and then you walk back upstairs together with your drinks?

Sorry if I’m being dim but there seems so many simple solutions and I just don’t get the issue?

Yes!

This is a great thread.

He’s 3 but you are treating him like a baby.

He should be able to climb stairs unless they’re like the stairs inside a lighthouse.

Who is everyone? How many people live there?

Most 3 year olds wake up early and people just make their breakfast and tea around them in the kitchen/living room.

He should be able to climb stairs unless they’re like the stairs inside a lighthouse.

Tbh they aren’t far off and he has 2 percentile legs bless him.

Yes! Why wouldn't you? He's 2 he's likely to spill something down his clothes in the morning before finishing his breakfast and who wants to eat food straight after brushing their teeth??

Teeth brushing should be after breakfast anyway.

Toilet, if they need it then quickly do that. Usually would rather breakfast first then toilet.

I have a 3 year old
She vaults out of her cot into my bed (will be putting her in a toddler bed soon) and boom that's me awake. I pick her up and take her straight downstairs, where she has milk
I'll go toilet, put the heating on then make my cereal or tea etc

The toilet issue only makes sense if you don’t have one near the kitchen

I think you are being very defensive that you have to do it the way you have always done it - you need to stop and realise it’s not working for your 3yo.

Yes, of course! If you know they’re about to scream the house down.
Or rather, child wakes up, go and get them, bring them down, grab milk for them, then go to the loo.

All go downstairs for morning drinks. Don't brush teeth first, yuck! Toilet first if he needs it, but if he's still in a nappy overnight he probably doesn't.

I'm sure he'll be able to manage the stairs, my son is usually 9th centile and he's been doing them since he was about 1.

@Toddlerhelpplease123 get a Teasmade and a mini fridge upstairs. No-one needs to be getting out of bed for their morning brew!

Maybe he needs a wee urgently when he wakes up? Presumably as he's nearly 3 he can get out of his cot and go himself? Or is he trapped. I'd be screaming too if so.

He probably wants to be where all the action is & the drinks are being made - rather than having to wait patiently upstairs for 2-3 mins (which is an eternity to a toddler) for the drinks to be presented. Take him downstairs with you and organise your morning around that.

Yes

Yes… (well a quick wee) and then downstairs. They don’t eat breakfast immediately. Play then breakfast.

young children shouldn’t be forced to stay in bed and be quiet just because adults want a lie in.

Yes!

mine are 8 and 4 and when they wake they go straight downstairs in pjs, one of us joins them and gets breakfast/coffee sorted. Once eaten then we go back up and get showered and dressed. Every single day.

OP take him downstairs. He might even find it fun to try to go down himself. He will never learn how to safely negotiate stairs if you never let him try. Our old house had very steep stairs that dd had to literally climb up but as she was supervised at all times doing so she learned to cope.

And yes, op, people do pluck their screaming children out of the cot.

If you’ve got a large house then you likely have a toilet downstairs

who brushes teeth before they’ve eaten or drank anything?

just go downstairs in PJs have some milk have some breakfast play for abit then get dressed.

and maybe he can’t navigate down the stairs but surely a 3 year old can climb them?? Crawling babies can climb stairs

Yes! Most people with small children will go downstairs in their pyjamas and drink tea downstairs before taking g it in turns to go back upstairs to get ready.

He really needs a chance to be able to navigate the stairs. Our stairs are practically vertical and we made sure ours could safely get up and down (at 2, not 3).

Why do you need to get dressed and brush teeth before going downstairs? We always go down in our pjs, and brush teeth after breakfast. You shouldn’t brush before!!

Yes. It's this or listen to him scream.

Absolutely normal to go down for drinks / breakfast, then back up for teeth, face, dressed etc.

Many posters concur, might be an idea to think about it as a solution 😜