Omg please help!

[Toddlerhelpplease123]

Toddler is nearly 3.

Every morning when he wakes up. We get him out of his cot and he can run around upstairs or come into bed whilst his dad or I get morning drinks (milk/ tea etc.)

For the last couple of weeks he has started screaming in the morning when we go downstairs to get the drinks.

Like full on. Full wake the whole street up screaming non stop.

I honestly dont know what to do.

Obviously I have been being calm and saying whats wrong, etc. Explaining dad always comes back with the drinks. Offering other drinks that are already available in case hes thirsty (water, squash).

We have done ignoring as well. And sternly please stop screaming - because it is literally as loud as he can.

This has been a few weeks now. He’s just been getting worse. And obviously the return of his drinks is the culmination of the event and he just happily drinks his milk so I dont know whether he thinks his screaming is resulting in a positive outcome.

But we cannot have this.

What do people suggest?

I said to DP this morning maybe we need to try no milk. He can have a glass at breakfast but hes not going to die or starve of milk deprivation in the 20/30 minutes it takes everyone to get to breakfast.

Any ideas! Help please

Update…

So not confident this is a full update as it’s one day and sure this routine change is not settled yet.

He didn’t want to go downstairs. But we said you have to come now to help. So he did with some grumbling but thankfully not meltdown screaming.

He helped dad make drinks and brought them back. But then didn’t even want his milk. But he did sit happily and we all got ready.

All this talk of babying gave me an idea so I got him a special big boy paw patrol mug ☕️

Arrived at tea and he’s very chuffed with that. Had his evening milk in that. So hopefully tomorrow he will be excited to go downstairs to get his new mug.

And yes I like our upstairs drinks, and getting dressed upstairs before breakfast 🤣 so if I can resolve this with a few toddler tricks then that’s going to be a success.

But if it still doesn’t work then obviously going to have to change things further.

So half success! No screaming.

Aww glad you've potentially found a solution that works for you as a family. Hope tomorrow and future days go great as well 😊

That is excellent, well done OP.

Nice update OP, hope he enjoys his mug.

Well done, OP.

I need a coffee in bed before braving the day - I get you!

Do you have a TV in your room? Would a show work?

Actually no. “In general, it's better to brush your teeth before breakfast than after. Brushing before breakfast removes bacteria that builds up overnight, increases saliva production, and protects your tooth enamel”. Latest dental advice

In general, it's better to brush your teeth before breakfast than after. Brushing before breakfast removes bacteria that builds up overnight, increases saliva production, and protects your tooth enamel.

My mind is blown that people dress their toddlers before breakfast… what’s the point when they’re just going to get porridge/beans/jam/fruit all over it anyway !

Also OP how early are you getting up that you all have these luxurious brews in bed then have a 30 minute ‘get ready’ window. My dd is at nursery for 7.45am some days!

Great update! Young children need a lot of adaptation and making allowances, while at the same time encouraging them to behave well.

Great that he liked his big boy mug!

What do you mean? It’s fine for him to scream for no reason because that’s how we start the day? Crazy!!!

Ypur child either wants to help make the drinks or just really wants one.

id have milk on the side ready to go or take then downstairs to get it then bring then back up. Even if it was a faf. Screaming to communicate a need - why would you then think to withhold milk? Night time is a long time for them to go
without food.

You shouldn't need to 'pluck him out of his room' that's the whole point at 3yr old he should be in a bed not a cot, and able to get out of it himself without having to wait to be lifted out? If he could just climb out of bed and come and find you or play with toys in his bedroom he probably wouldn't be screaming?

I can't imagine a 3yr old in a cot he must have no space at all 😳

I would also say take him downstairs with you.
Ignoring or telling sternly to stop screaming will not work. You need to work out why he is screaming and fix that. At the age of he likely wont be able to tell you himself, you need to observe and think.

Don’t do yourself down - no screaming, so it was a success. Part of the issue is breaking the habit. The other issue is changing your tactics when they change their behaviour - which at that age starts to feel like every other day!

Take the win!

Some people dont mind.
Some toddlers dont make much mess.

😂😂
Yeah , just bring him downstairs & back up again when everyone is getting ready 😂😂

@Toddlerhelpplease123 brilliant update and great idea re the PP mug! 🤞things continue to improve

I’m grateful we have seemed to have broken the scream cycle but I’m not holding my breath. Because he clearly isn’t hangry if he didn’t have all his drink and he didn’t really want to go downstairs. But making him worked.

So I think might have just been a defiant terrible twos thing 😬

Unless he was just thirsty and only wanted milk not water 🤷‍♀️

Fingers crossed for tomorrow 🤞

You had me at paw patrol

Honestly please stop worrying about his cot 😂

As I said he’s very short so has plenty of space, loves his cot and hasn’t tried to climb out of it yet. As I said the stairs are quite crazy here so we have been very firm about discouraging climbing. Because that’s quite life and death. He gets that! We had to do lots of old fashioned humour dumpty (the modern ones they put him back together again).

And it’s a bit of a drip but I am having major surgery later this month. We talked about switching to bed at Xmas but decided as I’m going to be quite fragily bed bound for a week or two that it’s probably best to wait so I don’t get dive bombed by a small but quite heavy child unexpectedly one night during recovery.

Which I did purposefully not mention earlier because he’s not in the cot when this is happening so it’s not really relevant to the screaming issue.

So thanks all 😊

Either stop the milk or take him down with you to get it, no need for him to stay upstairs really.

I am genuinely a little surprised that everyone is shocked at your 'odd' morning routine! Ours is just the same, we have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and they come and sit in bed in between us each morning and we drink tea and they have a little beaker of milk. We read childrens stories. I love this part of the day!!

I usually go down to get the drinks at the same time each morning, sometimes no one is awake, other times one or both children want to help and other times they just want to sit in bed and wait. The great thing about them helping is they are learning too, 1 year old puts tea bags in the mug and stirs, 4 year old (with close supervision) can do the whole thing, I am eagerly awaiting the day he brings me a cuppa in bed! Yes it is a hassle having helpers, I usually have to do several trips to get both plus drinks upstairs but it is not a big deal.

Yes, well other than going to the toilet. Why would we need to be fully dressed, teeth brushed, etc before breakfast??

It genuinely bamboozles me that when threads are pages and pages long that later posters (I’m looking at you @HMW1906 !) don’t at least read the OP’s most recent updates before adding their tuppenceworth. Imagine if we did that say at work - just jump straight in responding to only snippets of info that we had.