Omg please help!

[Toddlerhelpplease123]

Toddler is nearly 3.

Every morning when he wakes up. We get him out of his cot and he can run around upstairs or come into bed whilst his dad or I get morning drinks (milk/ tea etc.)

For the last couple of weeks he has started screaming in the morning when we go downstairs to get the drinks.

Like full on. Full wake the whole street up screaming non stop.

I honestly dont know what to do.

Obviously I have been being calm and saying whats wrong, etc. Explaining dad always comes back with the drinks. Offering other drinks that are already available in case hes thirsty (water, squash).

We have done ignoring as well. And sternly please stop screaming - because it is literally as loud as he can.

This has been a few weeks now. He’s just been getting worse. And obviously the return of his drinks is the culmination of the event and he just happily drinks his milk so I dont know whether he thinks his screaming is resulting in a positive outcome.

But we cannot have this.

What do people suggest?

I said to DP this morning maybe we need to try no milk. He can have a glass at breakfast but hes not going to die or starve of milk deprivation in the 20/30 minutes it takes everyone to get to breakfast.

Any ideas! Help please

Lol yes! Sometimes not even a dressing gown 🤣 there is no way my toddler would stay upstairs once he's up. He gets up and we go downstairs for breakfast etc and then back upstairs to get ready for the day!

ok knowing this helps, whoever is with him, as soon as the screaming starts returns him to the cot and firmly states "mummy is getting milk, screaming is not acceptable" and retreats and waits for it to stop before any milk is given. you might have a few days of utter chaos but he will learn

Who can be arsed to read 28 pages of drivel really? Obviously you have the time to do that if you feel the need to comment on other people posting! And I’m not at work, I’m not being paid to be here so quite frankly couldn’t give a shite what you and other people think 🤷‍♀️

You’re not allowed to post anymore @Cunningfungus says so!

And yes!

Maybe he is hungry .
We have always got the kids up they use the bathroom. Downstairs for breakfast as hungry .
Then everyone goes and gets ready for the day.
I could not be doing with siting in bed having a drink everyday . Or have the time to be fair

That's an odd response.

It is relevant because if your child is toilet trained and they need a wee over night or first thing in the morning they can't get up and go to the bathroom if they're restrained in a cot.

We have a nearly 3 year old. He’s happy in his cot and not making any moves to try and escape. All those saying “he’s not a baby, why is he in a cot”? Why not? Mine is in a cot bed, all we would be doing is taking the sides off and opening the door (quite literally ) to him coming into our room whenever he wants. That’s not the issue that the OP was posting for and seems very harmless. If he wasn’t happy he would be climbing out and making it known.
For those talking about why he’s having milk at 3, because again, he’s not a baby. Again, why not? My recently turned 5 year old has a small milk before he heads off to school. I distinctly remember having milk as a kid. Kids like milk, it’s a good drink of substance if you’re not offering food straight away. It’s all pretty harmless and not really linked to the point the OP was asking about.
I’ve not read the other 28+ pages so nothing else to comment on 😂

In fairness I think it might be a good idea!

I would like a drink handed to me before I do anything else or I will scream.

(it better now the milk!)

I feel you are getting a hard time on here OP, with all the why don’t you just go straight down to breakfast and up again to dress afterwards.
I don’t do that either - I get myself and my nearly three old dressed first, then we go down. He shows frankly no hurry for breakfast/no awareness of hunger and would happily play upstairs for ages , I have to coax him down. I find going down to eat then up again to dress takes much longer to leave the house.
I also brush teeth before breakfast.

I also have a nearly three year old in a cot, yes I know I need to put him in a bed soon

however ! Having said all that , if yours is screaming then it’s not working , time to try something different- and yes I would take him down with you to get drinks. Come back up again if you want, but it may be that he wants to be involved in this to-him mysterious drink fetching expedition

PS we don’t have morning drinks though! I wish, no chance of leisurely cuppa in bed with a toddler. It’s tea when I get downstairs for breakfast

You seem to have an issue with changing your morning routine to meet your child's needs. He is clearly upset and the routine isn't working. as suggested 1000 times take him down stairs. If you feel the need to be dressed before going down stairs get up before your child abd sort yourself out. Then when they wake up you can maybe have a more relaxed routine for them.

OP, He just wants his milk. This is EXACTLY what I’m like until I get my coffee in the morning 🤷🏻‍♀️😀😂

You shouldn't be discouraging climbing stairs, how do you think he will learn? He needs the skill to navigate them, and that won't land by Magic. Supervise, monitor and support, but please don't stop him getting independence.

It sounds like he wasn't even that arsed about the milk, just didn't want a parent "dissappearing".

You get them out the cot when they want to. It isn’t an issue. It certainly isn’t OP’s issue, so it’s completely irrelevant.

I used to think that, but my dentist said it’s best to clean teeth before breakfast, else the bacteria that built up overnight plus breakfast makes for decay. She said brush first thing, and either mouthwash after breakfast or brush again as long as it’s at least 20 mins after eating (any sooner and will damage the tooth enamel). It took months to retrain myself and I still sometimes forget!

Hope tomorrow morning is better for you!

If you actually read what I posted I said at least read the OP’s updates (click on “see all” on the OP’s original post) or else it’s you that’s just wasting your time and posting drivel. That’s what I did hence I knew the thread had moved wasaayyyy on!

Mine didn't walk down to start with, they would turn around and kind of reverse crawl down the stairs so it was safer

Teach him how to descend the stairs safely. At 3 this may still be a case of teaching him to wiggle down, feet first, on his tummy. All the while impressing on him how stairs can be dangerous & “it’s not good to fall”, & “that’s why he needs to learn keep himself safe on stairs”. Then he has choices & enhanced independence. Or, as others have suggested, Dad can take him with & “help” prepare the morning drinks together.

My daughter was like this. She’s still impatient now and very bossy 😩😂 my other two would of climbed out that cot and helped themselves by 3 though 😂😩

It's because the OP is resisting lots of the advice and is not really answering posts directly but being a bit formal and vague.

Don’t be so ridiculous. I was here for suggestions of how to change the routine preemptively to avoid the 0-100 in 30 second scream rage of an irrational toddler.

Im not going to suddenly start running about trying to placate him when he’s like that because surely that risks reinforcing entirely unacceptable behaviour!

I don’t think that’s reluctance to change.

Great update from this morning OP. Good luck for tomorrow. And with your surgery.

He might have suddenly decided that he doesn't like the routine - it can be anything that sets them off but as they can't really communicate what the problem is you have to guess. Maybe he wants to go with whoever got him up, to see where they go to and to see what they're doing - afterall he knows the other parent is either in bed or in the bedroom waiting for him but the other parent gets him up then disappears - he can't figure out where they've gone and doesn't understand about making drinks - he wants to see for himself. They are funny little souls 💙 and the first time round is mind boggling but so rewarding when you figure out what they're trying to tell you - you have to see everything through their eyes & it's a whole new world xx