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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wish I said something at the time

284 replies

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 20:56

Today we went to smyths toy shop with my little girl who is 2, we went to buy her a treat since she's been potty trained and nappy free now for a week. She was so excited, roaming around each aisle to see what she wanted. She had picked what she wanted and we just carried on looking, she saw a little girl run past her, this little girl was miles in front of her parents and my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social. My little girl thinks this girl is racing, so she instantly runs with her, I of course run after my little girl and the parents have obviously caught up and with their child. When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now" I heard the parents saying their child's name and stop it before I turned round the corner.

But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child. My daughter was being harmless. I just grabbed her hand and said come on let's go now and pay for your toy. But it's really bothered me all day and I wish I'd of said something because I feel so bad my daughter has just been plodding along and then randomly gets pushed and told to get away. The parents didn't even say sorry. If my child did that I'd be so apologetic. I just feel so sad in that spilt second that she was there without me and she's getting pushed. It's really upset me

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 01/02/2025 23:25

OP, you posted in AIBU. And the clear answer is: yes, yes you are.

Cakeandusername · 01/02/2025 23:26

She ran off from you around a corner though out of sight. Like I said I only needed to do it once and can remember it vividly, it made an impact and I honestly can’t recall her running off in a shop again.
Not running off from me was a none negotiable though as I viewed it as a safety issue.

MrsJHernandez · 01/02/2025 23:26

Christ! Did everyone get out the wrong side of bed today?

They're little kids! Your sociable LO just wanted to run with another little girl and have fun. Obviously we don't know why the other girl pushed yours or said go away. But a two year old doesn't mean any harm and don't understand a lot.

Yes, you probably thought "nasty" child, but again, she's just a little girl and you have a bias towards your own.

I would've apologised if I was the other parent and told her off for pushing and being rude. Then leave without buying her anything.

When I was really little and staying with my Grandma, there was a teenage girl who used to come over and play with me. Apparently I was watching TV when she came over one day and I told her to go away. My Mum was mortified, and still brings it up to this day! "Oh you were soooo rude to that lovely girl!" I'm 41 now 🤣

JandamiHash · 01/02/2025 23:26

And I promise I mean this kindly OP, but as a mother of a 11yo and 8yo let me tell you it’ll serve you well to learn quickly that some people will find your children unlikable. It’s awful because you see them as brilliant and any child would be lucky to have them as a friends, but the sooner you accept not everyone will like their company the easier a lot of parenting will be

SherbetSweeties · 01/02/2025 23:28

Not sure the other child was being nasty. She didnt want your child to chase her and that's fair enough. She was perhaps unkind in how she responded but she's a little child who doesn't know any better. What would you have said? I think your being a little precious.

Rinkytoo · 01/02/2025 23:32

Did you ask your DD why she ran away and she told you she was racing the girl? Or are you just assuming that’s what she was doing? Regardless, the other child clearly perceived it as being chased and didn’t like it.
And how do you know that your DD didn’t do anything to the girl first which prompted her to retaliate by pushing and telling her to go away?

hideawayforever · 01/02/2025 23:41

DarkHollowTree · 01/02/2025 21:13

Not sure wtf is up with everyone on this thread!!
I would have 100% made my child apologise if I saw them being less than kind to another kid, especially one younger. If not I'd have atleast said sorry on their behalf and probably left the shop mortified!

yeh this, everyone making out the OPs child ( who is two) is the badly behaved one when all they did was join in running with another child, and making out the other poor child was so overwhelmed by this she was justified in pushing a 2 year old. totally fkn ridiculous. don't know what's wrong with people on here.

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 01/02/2025 23:42

Your little girl sounds delightful, OP. And I can understand you feel hurt, on her behalf, by the other child pushing her away. Luckily she’s resilient and has probably already forgotten about the push.

Sending hugs to you and DD. I hope the older child’s parents have explained to her why she shouldn’t push other children, especially smaller ones.

Lighteningstrikes · 01/02/2025 23:44

Yadnbu
The little girl obviously takes after her parents.

I’ve witnessed 2x 3 year old boys kick and spit on a 1 year old (two different incidents), and the parents didn’t do anything about it.

It’s a sad world we live in 💐

purpleme12 · 01/02/2025 23:45

apart from the fact that the parents clearly did say something...

hideawayforever · 01/02/2025 23:45

Ifellgretta · 01/02/2025 21:32

To be honest I think you should have apologised to them for allowing your daughter to run after the other little , who clearly didn't want to play.

fkn ridiculous

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 23:46

@hideawayforever exactly this!! Making out my child is a monster and was hurting the child to give reason to push. I've been called a rubbish parent, I haven't been doing my job. Absolutely pathetic. Also presuming the other child was sen. What an odd thing to suggest.

I hold my hands up and I probably shouldn't of used the word nasty. But in that moment I thought what a nasty thing to do by pushing

OP posts:
VisitationRights · 01/02/2025 23:46

YABU and way over the top

KilkennyCats · 01/02/2025 23:49

Lighteningstrikes · 01/02/2025 23:44

Yadnbu
The little girl obviously takes after her parents.

I’ve witnessed 2x 3 year old boys kick and spit on a 1 year old (two different incidents), and the parents didn’t do anything about it.

It’s a sad world we live in 💐

The parents of this child did do something about it, so I don’t know what the point of your post is?

Mamabear300 · 01/02/2025 23:51

It's really tricky OP I've got two girls one tween and one teen now but they are polar opposite. One when younger especially was extremely social ran up to anyone and everyone sort of thing and the other not so much she was more keep herself to herself however both my girls have additional needs / neurodiverse conditions, my eldest would of happily played alongside another random child, my younger may well of reacted the same and gone into melt down as she cannot cope with being approached by unknown people of any kind and also doesn't like being 'touched' by people she doesnt know / deems strange and if there is anychance she feels they may attempt to lets say tap her shoulder or hold her hand then let the meltdown begin. I'm not saying its right for one child to push another just giving abit of insight from this side of the fence. 🙂 X

dannyufcfan · 01/02/2025 23:53

Sounds like a complete non event that I wouldn't give second thought to.

WhenTheyComeForYou · 01/02/2025 23:53

Despite what many MN posters say (who will argue the sky is green so long as it contradicts or embarrasses a poster), of course the other little girl was unkind by pushing and shouting at your daughter.

The other parents should have either apologised or gotten their child to apologise. A 2 year old running alongside a child is clearly not a threatening act and whether the other child wanted to play or not, violence and unkindness isn’t acceptable.

Many children lack manners now OP, because their parents do. You see it all the time. YANBU but you’ll never make the nay sayers admit that.

WhenTheyComeForYou · 01/02/2025 23:55

KilkennyCats · 01/02/2025 23:49

The parents of this child did do something about it, so I don’t know what the point of your post is?

Show quote history

Saying “stop it “ isn’t enough. That should be obvious. An apology was in order.

latetothefisting · 01/02/2025 23:56

"my daughter was being harmless"
how do you know when you were 'round the corner' when she caught up to the other girl? For all you know your dd could have pushed her first and you didn't see it!

hideawayforever · 01/02/2025 23:56

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 23:46

@hideawayforever exactly this!! Making out my child is a monster and was hurting the child to give reason to push. I've been called a rubbish parent, I haven't been doing my job. Absolutely pathetic. Also presuming the other child was sen. What an odd thing to suggest.

I hold my hands up and I probably shouldn't of used the word nasty. But in that moment I thought what a nasty thing to do by pushing

if you'd have come on here saying you were the parent of the other child, they'd have piled on you saying what an awful parent you are that your child pushes a 2 year old, you can't win, they love to make people feel shit on here.

Butchyrestingface · 01/02/2025 23:58

Shannon9955 · 01/02/2025 21:30

Pushing someone is nasty, I stand by that. It my child pushed someone I would also say that's a nasty thing to do

It's not 'nasty'. It would be if it was an adult doing the pushing but these are little kids who don't understand the finer points of social mores that frequently baffle the rest of us.

PrettyFox · 01/02/2025 23:58

It’s upsetting when something like this happen but it’s not unusual for children to push, hit, bite etc as a way of reacting to frustration, anger etc they are not ‘nasty”, children cope differently and also go through phases. We had similar situations with my son. It’s important to validate their feelings but also try to explain the other side - “yeah, it’s not nice to be pushed and she shouldn’t have done that, but think she got scared that you are a bit too close to her and she didn’t like that.” I don’t think this unusual behaviour unfortunately

Original poster
Shannon9955 · 02/02/2025 00:00

latetothefisting · 01/02/2025 23:56

"my daughter was being harmless"
how do you know when you were 'round the corner' when she caught up to the other girl? For all you know your dd could have pushed her first and you didn't see it!

And the parents were right there in that 2 seconds. So id like to hope if that did happen they'd of said because then pushing back and fourth is a small fight in my eyes

OP posts:
Original poster
Shannon9955 · 02/02/2025 00:02

@hideawayforever agree! They are all trying to make it look like my daughter chased and then did something to be pushed. People need to get a grip

OP posts:
Original poster
Shannon9955 · 02/02/2025 00:03

The other child was allowed to run in the shop, the other child was allowed to push. But god forbid my child ran for all of 10 seconds

OP posts: