Wish I said something at the time

[Shannon9955]

Today we went to smyths toy shop with my little girl who is 2, we went to buy her a treat since she's been potty trained and nappy free now for a week. She was so excited, roaming around each aisle to see what she wanted. She had picked what she wanted and we just carried on looking, she saw a little girl run past her, this little girl was miles in front of her parents and my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social. My little girl thinks this girl is racing, so she instantly runs with her, I of course run after my little girl and the parents have obviously caught up and with their child. When I turn the corner my daughter has run round, the girl she chased was pushing her saying "get away girl, go away now" I heard the parents saying their child's name and stop it before I turned round the corner.

But I was a bit taken a back, it was a silly innocent thing. But in that moment I just thought what a nasty child. My daughter was being harmless. I just grabbed her hand and said come on let's go now and pay for your toy. But it's really bothered me all day and I wish I'd of said something because I feel so bad my daughter has just been plodding along and then randomly gets pushed and told to get away. The parents didn't even say sorry. If my child did that I'd be so apologetic. I just feel so sad in that spilt second that she was there without me and she's getting pushed. It's really upset me

What does running have to do with instilling independence in a way that walking does not? She could have ran face first into a trolley or shop worker with a cage and ended up really hurting, it is not an appropriate place to run no matter how much you protest.

You're going to be in for a world of pain when your PFB gets to 4 if this is your reaction to a little shove. Calling a 4 year old nasty for that is wild.

As the nurserys say the running and the pushing is all "age appropriate"

I probably would have apologised if I was the other parent but I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest if I was in your shoes in this scenario.

God forbid one of your children pushes the other...would you call one of your own a nasty child

Don't be that parent who over reacts to non issues, or your daughter is going to grow up to be hypersensitive to many life experiences she will have to experience from time to time.

Also you didn't see what happened. How do you know your child didn't knock into the other little girl...or is that not possible because yours is clearly perfect?

It's not nice seeing your child being pushed. Unfortunately at that age they haven't developed tact or knowing they're hurting feelings. The kid just knows it doesn't want another kid running near it and has voiced that. The parents have told their kid to stop. At that age it's not really an issue at all. There is no malice or need for anyone to apologise.

Brace yourself though. It gets worse 😵. They don't necessarily have tact or care for others feelings right up until teenager hood either! You'll see your kid getting her feelings hurt a LOT. And parents who don't give a damn....

Which is why you need to work on teaching her instead of making drama over nothing.

It's true, it was unkind. Your child should not have been pushed. The other parents already dealt with the issue when they asked their daughter to stop.
It is also true that neither child should have been running inside a shop. And true that small children have tiffs and disagreements and don't all see something the same way.

The other girl did not want another child running with her. She lacked the ability to kindly stop and say - Please don't run with me. They are two. You are over thinking this.

You reacted by taking your child out of the situation to buy her toy. If you had lingered who knows what the other parents would have done??

I think you did the right thing by distracting your child back on task and not over playing the incident. I would have said something like - I'm glad that little girl's Mummy asked her to stop pushing and shouting when she didn't like someone running with her. Are you alright?

I would have given it no more thought except mental note to self that running inside any shop is not on. They could have run into a sharp shelf, a person, a crawling baby.

"I'm not going to rein her up at every event unless she gives valid reason to."

Her running off IS a valid reason to 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️.

Not having a way to ensure your toddler stays by you in any public space that isn't a park/playground/soft play is crappy parenting. If you can't manage her well enough that she doesn't run off then yes, she absolutely should be on reins.

I'm embarrassed that you're trying to justify her running off in a shop as though its unavoidable. It's not. You just didn't bother preventing it.

And she got pushed. It could have been avoided if you, you know, did your job.

That's the point. You don't have full control of your child. No one does. We all do/did our best. Like the other parents were doing.

Why are you holding them to a higher standard than you are holding yourself and your child?

Your dd is 2 yrs? Ohhhhhh boy are you in for a rude awakening when she starts school

I was thinking this 😂😂😂

The flying balls make excellent weapons

If a random man chased after you, OP, wouldn't you push them (or worse)to try and away?
"but that's a completely different scenario, the child wasn't in any danger from my dd"
yep but they didn't know that!

Your child acted up and was harassing another child and you want an apology?

I think you should explain to your child that not everyone wants to be friends and that's fine. Also that the place to be running around and playing is not in a shop and children are more likely to want to play in a park for instance.

You’ve been asked several times what it is you would have said, if you had said something (as your thread title says you wished you had done)
Again, what would you have said and how would this have improved the situation?

Read all the thread and I did reply with what I'd say when asked.

You didn’t teach her anything though? You didn’t say anything about not running off and bought her a toy.
I vividly remember the time my dc ran off in home bargains. Told her you do not run off from me in firm voice. We immediately left and came home empty handed. She knew I meant business never did it again. It’s a safety issue, none negotiable.

Fair enough, I misread that bit, apologies

“my little girl would make friends with a brick wall, she is so social” she sounds so adorable 🥰 she’ll do just fine in life x

I did tell my child no when we walked away. I didn't need to stand there and make it a big thing telling her off. I got her hand and we walked and as we walked I said you have to stay with mummy

The other parents did the same as you OP. Both children were behaving in a way that is understandable for their age but not to be encouraged, and each parent took their respective child and gave them a verbal correction. There was absolutely no reason to stand there and turn it into a little drama or argue over what portion of blame each gets.

The situation was immediately resolved by separating the two children. Your child is completely fine and you'll never see these people again. Why would you give this another thought?

Go back and read through and I did tell her not to run off after we walked away. We bought her a toy as reward for being good potty training. "Sorry you can't have your already picked out you now because you ran beside that child and they pushed you" absolutely not

Yep, all of this.

I say this kindly OP, but reading your responses I’m going to say that the next couple of years will be eye-opening for you. This is just the start!
And trust me; one day, it’ll be your DD doing the pushing. Even the most compliant of child has their limit!

This reminds me of owners who let their dogs race up to you and jump on you, then say when they catch up 'oh they're just being friendly' and treat you as if you're the weird one with a problem.

If your daughter was close enough to be pushed away then she ran full tilt into the other girl.

If someone the same size as me chased after me and ran into me, then I'd be startled, wary, scared, and push them away too.

Your DD is not a precious princess who everyone should be honoured and delighted to have forced into their lives. Consent, OP. If you don't understand it, how will you ever teach your DD?

She shouldn’t have been pushed but also a lot of children won’t like her invading their space when they don’t know her. Two wrongs don’t make a right but it sounds like fairly normal thing of small children not really understanding each other or social norms and needing educating by their parents (again, totally normal). If I saw it I would think both children had something to learn.

I definitely wouldn’t have removed the toy but I would have explained either at the time or later why it could have been scary for the other child and why people generally might not like it.

You have no idea bout the other girl, she could be ND or she could have felt your daughter was being intrusive or maybe startled her?.. who knows. Her parents corrected her and that’s enough.

This! Why are you letting your child run around after people or racing random strangers shops at all anyway?!

They're 2 years old. They aren’t reasonable humans aren’t can’t be expected to be. There’s nothing you could’ve said that would’ve made any difference to anybody. Life is full of people who don’t like you for no apparent reason, it won’t kill your DD to find that out